What could he say about boys?
He love black guys,
The thrill of staring at them.
And if they stare back.
Its was dangerous, and a thrill for him.
I mean for girls staring at guys.
Guys welcome girls
But for a queer bag for him to be staring
He could get beat up, hit, kick, punch.
For getting caught.
Its scary. But also its like a game.
He wonder what the guys thought when he stare at them
“what the fuck is this guy trying to pick a fight?”
“is there something on my shirt”
“maybe this guy is just some queer bag”
But truth be told, they hadn’t said anything.
They don’t hit him or tell him to stop looking.
Some even stare back a lot, its cute in way.
Its fun in a way. it’s a whole dangerous game, of fun.
that what he was.
staring but never touching,
feeling body aginst body.
it was stll all a staring game for the kid.
in some ways he is glad that he still has innocent. or something like it.