Mislearned Lessons

You poisoned me,
Wove thoughts throughout my heart,
Changed my way of feeling,
Taught me how to love,
But you taught me wrong,
Though I give you no blame,
It was just too much,
We ran too fast,
My reflexes are now against me,
Muscle memory too quick to react,
Forcing me to hold back,
When I long to just hold her,
My arms remember holding you,
The boundaries we never learned,
I'm paying for them now,
She doesn't know how I hesitate,
Swallow it down and try to be still,
Bite it back and resist the urge,
Mislearned lessons trying to do right,
Flush out the poison in my brain,
Bittersweet although the taste may be,
I'm fighting back, vowing to learn better.

Kay