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Tom is abusing Bill who can't summon the will to get out of their somewhat relationship

Yes is twincest so if you don't like it this isn't the songfic for you to read.

Song is by Tokio Hotel


Submitted:Oct 1, 2010    Reads: 159    Comments: 3    Likes: 3   


I'm trying to tell you

Bill turned to his brother and opened his mouth to say what burned him inside. The words that cut his heart like a razorblade. But like always he lost his nerve before he could tell Tom "I love you so much." That's all. Five words. But they choked him and he could not speak.
I'm trying to know you

Instead of saying the words he wanted Bill asked what Tom thought on the newest cars. Bill himself could careless about cars. But Tom loved them and that was enough for the younger twin.
I'm dying to show you

Feeling like he was dying Bill wanted to show Tom his love. He wanted it more then anything he had ever wanted.
Fighting to get you
Whenever out in big mobs of fans Bill fought off the groupies who tried to get Tom. Yet his older brother seemed to care not for his efforts.
Soon as you got me

Suddenly out of the blue Tom leaned in and kissed Bill on the lips. Bill's heart fluttered and he eagerly kissed back. Finally, finally Tom returned his affections!
You go and drop me

His older brother pulled back and wiped his lips on his jacket sleeve. What broke Bill's heart was the sneer on his brother's lips.

"Glad you liked my kissing." Tom sneered before walking away.
It's cruel when you burn me
I love how you hurt me
Bill's cheeks stung with humiliation and rejection. Yet he could not help but like it.
Oh no, I'll never let you go

There was no way he could rid himself of Tom. His love for his older brother was as important as the blood in his veins. And yet Bill knew the way he let Tom hurt him was masochistic.
Oh no, I hate that I need you so
He hated that he needed Tom so greatly. His life was forever dictated by someone he loved.
It's not what you said
It's the way you say it

It wasn't what Tom said, but the way it was obviously meant to be condescending those kind of remarks always stung the most.
It's not what you did
It's the way you do it

How after their kiss Tom had wiped his lips. In a gesture of erasing it, rendering Bill's love unimportant.
Sick and tired of needing your attention
I chose to be lonely
than live without your
Attention

It was so very emotionally draining to hopelessly offer his love to Tom who did not care. And yet he could not live without Tom's attention, affectionate or not.
I scratch your sweet name
Right into my skin

Pulling a safety pin from his pocket Bill lightly scratched Tom's name into his arm. The wound only bleed a small bit. Bill felt a small scrap of happiness to have his brother's name in his skin.
You left me bleeding
But I couldn't give in
No matter how many drops of blood Bill lost, he would not give in. His relentless love would not let him do so.
I swallowed the poison
to get infected
Give back my heart that
your body rejected

The young man had willingly swallowed all of Tom's venomous words of love. No matter how small the love it had always rekindled Bill's love for Tom. Now Bill wanted back his heart that lay barely alive in Tom's chest.
Oh no, I'll never let you go
Oh no, I hate that I need you so
Bill crept from the living room into Tom's empty bettzimmer and collapse onto his bett. He breathed deeply his older brother's scent. Giving an anguished cry Bill threw Tom's pillow onto the floor. Gott how dependent he was on his brother.
It's not what you said
It's the way you say it


"Is Klein bruder lonely?" Tom whispered in his ear, startling Bill from the doze he had fallen into. It took a moment for him to realize Tom lay behind him, hand on Bill's thigh. What exactly did Tom mean by that little jab?
It's not what you did
It's the way you do it


It was not that Tom had his hand on Bill's thigh, that bothered him. But the gesture made it seem that Bill would allow himself to be touched whenever, wherever.
Sick and tired of needing your attention

The young man was sick of being slave to Tom's attention. So tired of being fed honeyed lies that he could not throw up.
I chose to be lonely
than live without your
Attention

Yet Bill would rather be isolated from everyone he knew and loved just to have Tom's attention to himself. The sacrifice would be worth it he consoled himself.
I'm standing in the pain
that's smothering me


The pain of love smothered Bill till he feared he would die.
It's more becoming
My own brother can see
That I'm starving for your love

As the weeks pressed on Bill began to starve himself. Why sustain his life if he was to live without his brother's love and attention?
And I need attention
Or I'm gonna die

"Bill are you alright? You're skinnier then usual." Tom asked coming up behind him and placing his hand's on Bill's ribs.

"Nein I'm not." he replied leaning back against Tom's chest. A moment later the young man fainted from lack of food and dehydration. An hour and a half later he awoke to find himself laying in a hospital bed.
It's not what you said
It's the way you say it


"Bill you nearly cracked your head open." Tom said grasping his younger brother's hand tightly. Bill turned to look at the window and felt tears run down his cheeks. Could it be true? Did Tom truly care for him? Was that concern and love in his tone?
It's not what you did
It's the way you do it

"I'm sorry. I've been so damn stupid." the twin murmured kissing Bill's knuckles.
Sick and tired of needing your attention

And just like always Bill felt his love for Tom flood through him. It made him so very exhausted.
I chose to be lonely
than live without your
Attention

In this peaceful time Bill wanted to stay like this. To enjoy the love Tom was finally giving him.
Attention

Bill squeezed Tom's hand back and smiled so very happy.





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