Like all other small towns there is the right way and the wrong way to do things. I have always been one to do the right thing until one southern night.
Deena and I had grown up together; she moved to town when she was five after her father finished his stint in the military. Her father wanted to get back to his roots so he bought the ranch that was 5 miles down the road from my parents Feed Store. This was one of the only horse ranches in the state, Deena’s father breed and sold hoarse to the town folk and other ranchers. That is how we meet, for my birthday my father got me a horse and we bought it from Deena’s father. When I got to the ranch there she was wrestling in the mud with her two older brothers, when she saw me she came skipping over and asked if I wanted to play cause her brothers were wimps and didn’t like the mud, from that moment on we were like two peas in a pod. When I hung out with Deena I got to let my wild side out as long as my parents didn’t find out what I was up too, and if they did Deena would take the blame and tell them that she talked me into it; even though she never really had to talk me into doing any of the crazy and wild things she could think up. Deena and I would do everything together, campouts, sleepovers, family vacations you name it we did it. We even got the chicken pox together so we got to stay home together while we got over them. Where there was one of us the other was not far behind. We loved each other and knew we would always be together. As kids we both knew what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wanted to be a doctor marry a handsome guy and have the perfect life. Deena wanted to follow in the family footsteps by joining the military. She was always trying to get her father’s approval since she was the only girl in a house full of brothers. Deena would always be out there trying to outdo her brothers to get her father’s attention, but her mother was always trying to get Deena to be the good little southern girl, which she always rebelled against and I think that is why we became such good friends, she took chances and stood on the outside while I always did what was right.
One day in the summer before our freshman year of high school started Deena comes to my house like she has every day since we meet but on this day Deena was acting differently. Deena comes in and asked if we could talk, I could tell she had something important on her mind but was not sure what it was. I knew her mom had been sick and life at home was pretty rough. So I figured she wanted to vent about her family and talk about her mom.
“Sure you can always talk to me. Come on in, ya want to go to my room?”
“Uh ya sure.”
Deena was acting odd she wouldn’t look me in the eyes and she keep pacing around the room.
“You want to sit?”
“No I just want to stand.”
“Ok, what’s up Deena? Is it your mom, is she ok?”
“No it’s not mom she is doing ok. I need to ask you something.”
“Ok; spill it ya goofball.”
“CJ I can tell you anything right?”
“Well duh we are best friends, you can tell me anything.”
“We’ll always be friends right?”
“Yes, Deena, What is going on with you?”
“Where’re going to start our freshman year in a few weeks and we won’t be together all the time anymore. You’ll have different classes than me so we won’t be in class all day together anymore. You’re going to make new friends and uh boyfriends.”
“Well ya we won’t be together all the time like in grade school, but whether I make new friends or even get a boyfriend you will always be my best friend and I will always be there for you and love you no matter who comes in or out of my life. So what is it, did ya find yourself a beau and you’re afraid that I’ll be mad or jealous?”
“Yes, I mean no but I do like someone but I can’t say who it is cause I’m afraid they won’t feel the same as I do.”
“Oh come on Deena you can tell your oldest and bestest friend. If ya can’t tell me who can ya tell?”
“I can’t CJ not till I know how they feel first then I will tell you, I just wanted to know that I could tell you anything and you would always be there even if you didn’t like what I had to say.”
“Jeez Deena it’s not like we like the same guy or something. Oh crap is that what it is, do you like Derek?”
“No, No; I think he’s a dumbass, and he’s not my type.”
“Ahh come on he’s cute and he’s not that dumb, plus what exactly is your type?”
“Never mind CJ, I’m going to go I don’t feel well I’ll talk to ya later ok.”
“Alright then call me later will ya.”
“Ok see ya.”
I should have figured it out back then that the boy that Deena was talking about wasn’t actually a boy it was me. Deena was never really interested in guys or even going out all she wanted to do was hang with me and the gang, play sports and work on the ranch. I don’t think she ever had a beau but I really didn’t notice since I was so caught up with Derek, popularity and Cheerleading, being the good little southern princess that my parents wanted, with that we ended up drifted apart in high school. So on a day like any other day in our senior year I was out watching Derek at Baseball practice and I noticed that the girls Softball team was practicing on the other field today. That was not the norm because they always seem to practice on the other side of the school where the football field was. The baseball team never practiced with the softball team because in the past it always turned into a grudge match between the two coaches. The baseball coach said girls could never equal up to the guys, with that statement the softball coach was out for blood and challenged him, the softball team didn’t just kick the baseball teams ass they destroyed them and made sure they never forgot who wore the cleats in this school, so since then they never practiced on the same field.
I was off in thought about the prom and graduation coming up that I was not paying much attention to Derek’s practice but I did keep looking over to see how the girls were doing and that’s when I noticed that Deena was on the team and that she was staring at me. When she realized that I had seen her looking she quickly ran to the plate like it was no big deal and put her face mask back on, now that I think about it I think she did that so I couldn’t see her looking at me anymore. Deena and I had drifted so far apart that I don’t think I even said hi when we passed in the halls, so I never saw how Deena had grown out of the little pipsqueak of a girl into this radiant girl on the ball field today. I caught myself staring at her and finding her very luring. Deena was not as tall as I was but she had legs that went on for miles, I was always jealous of them, but today I was not jealous I was mesmerized by their looked, they had the strength and elegances of one of the Greek god sculpture, and they were so very sexy. Her arms were the type that you would feel safe and warm wrapped up in them and her chest had filled out very nicely, as kids she was flat as a board and I would tease her that she looked like a washboard, but she didn’t have a washboard chest anymore, it had filled out quite nicely to the perfect size and her ball shirt seem to hug the curves of her breast seductively even if she wasn’t’ trying to. I wondered if she had any tan lines under that ball shirt she was wearing. I think she knew I was looking at her because she went and leaned on the fence and took of her face mask and just stood there. Deena had always had a great smile; it was a mixture of warmth and mischief. When Deena would smile at you she would have this little tilt to it that no matter what, it made you blush, and her lips looked like soft rose petals which made her smile brighten your day. Deena had the most intoxicating hazel eyes you could get drunk from one glance from her. Her eyes had this tenderness to them yet you could see the rebel in them too. I don’t care who you are she could look right into your soul with those eyes and make you lose yourself in them. Deena has that strong rugged demeanor to her but she also has that soft serene presents about her that I’m sure not to many people see, since she seems not to let anyone in. We are so different, I’m the typical blonde hair, blue eyed, tall eye turning cheerleader that makes sure that everyone can see me and wants me.
As I sat there looking at Deena something stirred deep inside of me, and it scared the crap out of me, was I finding this girl irresistible, or was it just seeing her out there being her and wanting my friend back, but I think it was more I was finding Deena sexy and wondering how it would feel to be held in her arms. What the hell is going on in my head I was finding Deena sexy, not to mention she is a woman and that is so not the norm. I have a boyfriend and he is awesome, sexy, strong, and giving; everything a girl could want in a guy plus everything parents dreams about, and all I can think of right now is this girl who I wanted to be held by. Thank god Derek showed up ready to leave because that brought me back down out of the clouds. I jumped down from the stands where I was sitting and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a passionate kiss.
“Jeez, CJ what was that for?”
“I just wanted you to know how much I care about you and you’re the best.”
“Ok, well I care about you too you ok?”
“Yep I’m fantastic”
“You ready to get out of here?”
“Hell ya lets go.”
As Derek and I were leaving the field I couldn’t help but look back at Deena, as I did I saw her and she gave me that smile of hers and it made me melt. I quickly turned around and grabbed Derek’s hand and told myself it was just the heat that made me all loopy and I really didn’t feel that way at all.
Deena stood there watching CJ as she climbed the stands to watch Derek practice and wondered what the hell she saw in that jerk. The guy was a tool, he thought the world revolved around him, and he is the main reason that CJ and her drifted apart. Derek never liked Deena and Deena made sure that Derek knew that she thought he was a jackass. Deena realized as she was standing there staring over at CJ that she had noticed, so Deena quickly ran to the plate and put her face mask on so that CJ could not she her blushing that she was caught staring. Deena noticed that CJ had not looked away and was still looking over at her. What the hell is she doing ogling me, she hasn’t even noticed I was alive these past four years. Is she giving me the evil eye or what? Deena then realized that CJ was not watching Derek practice but instead she was watching her. I wonder if she knows that I wish I could tell her that I wanted her to be with me not that tool Derek, but if she did she would probably hate me and tell me I was sick in the head since in this small town that type of person was run out of town by a lynch mob or at least that’s what it seems like. Deena wondered what was going through CJ’s thoughts and were they about her, she hoped that they were. Deena couldn’t take it anymore she decided that if she was going to stare at her she was going to make the best of it. So she got up from the plate went over to the dugout fence and leaned against it, taking off her face mask so that she could see CJ better and so CJ could see her. About that time Derek walked up and Deena noticed that CJ was quick to jump down and give him a kiss. Was this to show me that she didn’t even see me she was just staring of into space? That thought made Deena’s heart heavy to think that even now her once best friend still didn’t notice her. As Derek and CJ were walking away Deena saw that CJ had turned to look back at her, and with that Deena gave her a smile that said I’m here when you want me, you are not far from my thoughts or heart, one day you will realize it. Deena could see that something got to CJ whether it was the message in that smile or her own heart saying the same to Deena. With that last look CJ turned and walked away with Derek and Deena was left there with only the hope that one day there won’t be just looks from afar but that the two of them will be gazing into each other’s eyes with love.