-The male sighs as he wipe the fog from the mirror looking deep
into the frost blue eyes. For he hated what he saw within the
image. A young male who aged more cause the lack of sleep and
pills. A child who been silenced by the call of abuse. A adult
finding safety in the arms of his blade. The eyes which stare
back was that of a stranger he could not stand. He wish for
change. For hope. But if any had bloom, it was soon killed.
Sighing the male wrap the towel tighter around his waist and exit
the bathroom. Silence enter the area like a thick tension
bringing a chill down his back. The hallway dance within the
darkness haunting the mind of this trouble soul. Entering the
room, he move to the dresser removing the bottle from the top.
Opening it slowly, he tip the bottle down letting a pill fall
into his hands. For a moment the male just stared at it wondering
why he was taking these again. The reason was now lost. Shrugging
not caring , he pop the pill into his mouth washing it down with
spit. Placing the bottle on the dresser again, he move to his bed
'I cant love you anymore Josh. You're not beautiful. Your ugly and revolting. Gain weight and looks high all the time. I just cant.'- Jose said walking away.
Josh whines at the words replaying in his head rolling over. He couldnt believe that this had happen. He had lost his boyfriend because he believed him to be ugly. Not only did he believe it, but the family say the same thing. His mother couldnt stand to look at him, and his father drank himself to a point of no return. They told him that he has became a burden to the family with his ugliness and they want nothing to do with him. The window open slightly letting in the moonlight as Josh look into the darkness trying not to cry. He hated his life. There was only two ways of stopping the pain. One was to run away and the other was suicide. Running away had been a great idea at first except what was the point. People would just make fun of him and call him names. So the second choice seem better. Josh had thought of many ways of killing himself. But by the far most he had one favorite. Sighing he closed his eyes and let sleep find it's path to him.
Morning hit with a heavy boom as from downstairs a voiced yelled-'Wake up you stupid child. Get your ass out of my bed and come eat your breakfast. Ugly shit!'
There was a silence that follow after causing Josh to sit up in bed bringing a hand to his forehead. He was not ready for today. Maybe he could pretend to be sick and skip the day altogether. Or...... A knock on the door interrupt the thought of the male as a voice yell on the other side.
'Did you hear me you fucking ugly bastard?" the female voice echo off the empty walls of Josh room.
'Yes I did. I am getting up.'-he respond pulling himself from the bed.
Footsteps of high-heels fade down the stairs as the male grab the bottle of pills. He removed two of them and pop them into his mouth. Swallowing them, he tread to the bathroom for the morning of the same thing. Looking at the stranger in the mirror who he could not stand. Who he hated with all his heart. Hour pass and Josh had now sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. His mother had been reading the newspaper, and dad was no-where to be found. Drunk no doubt. Silence proceed with Josh eating breakfast. His blue eyes remain down staring at the bowl in front of him wishing his parents loved him. Wishing that his suck didnt as it did. Wishing he was beautiful so people would like him. Finishing, he got up and took his dish to the sink. Dropping it inside, he turn on his heels letting his gaze fall among his mother. Her golden hair gleam within the sunlight reviling her facial feature of pure beauty. Jealous he was at the sight, he turn his head in shame walking from the kitchen. Sounds of rings filled the air before it died and a female voice said hello. 'Must be grandma.' he thought heading up the stairs now.
'No the ugly bastard havent left yet.' his mother voice range with rage.
He sighed entering the room closing the door quietly. Moving across the room, he sat on the edge of the bed bringing his hands to his face. Open container of pills teased him, wanting him. They sang out how they numb the pain of a life he cant take. Torn between the want of living and dying. What was stopping him from overdosing? What was stopping him from just ending it now? Nothing was and that what scared him the most. He knew that nobody would stop him now from just ending it all. Seeing how it was, he was sure that nobody was going to care that he was dead. And somehow he didnt find that a bother. 'Why ask for people who call you names to love you? Why waste your time on what they say?' he thought. Josh knew he could not help though let it get to him. He depend on his parents more then anything and having them call him names hurt more then anything in the world. The sun directed to the right bouncing off the wall causing him to twitch. He breath lightly letting his fist tighten before he move to the window opening it and climbing out it.
Cold air reach for his embrace numbing his scar skin as he step
into the old oak tree next to his window. He reach the ground and
ran down Street Av. Towards the small creek bridge in the forest.
This was it.
.......... ........... ............ ........... ............ ............ .............. .............. .................. ...................
'Dont do that!' a voice interrupt the thoughts of Josh who had been standing on the railing of the bridge listening to the rush of water. He image himself taking that jump ending his life here and now. But that voice stopped him causing him to look the way it came from.
From the left step a young male, about the same age with eyes of beautiful cooper color. His short cut blonde hair glisten now from the rain that had came and gone. The male had stop trying to catch his breath as Josh look to his with a arch eyebrow.
'Please Josh dont do this.'he begged moving closer.
'Why not? People hate me. They think I am ugly. My family cant stand me. My boyfriend broke up with me over it. Why should I stay Austin? Huh? Tell me that.' Josh said bringing a foot out to the edge letting it dangle. Austin was someone Josh had had been friends with since second grade. They had met through a pen-pal thing going on in the second grade when they was praticing writting. Austin was from Russia and was his pen-pal till he moved up to Seattle for the second grade. During high school they talk some, but not much. But Austin always watch out for Josh. No matter what. And when he happen to be walking on, he saw Josh on the bridge edge about to jump. Thus he knew he had to confess his love before it was to late.
'Because..... the male said stepping slightly closer fearing that he was about to jump; Because I fucking love you. Your not ugly my dear. Your the most beautiful male alive. People only think your ugly cause that how your looking at yourself. Except me. I always thought you was beautiful. Just plain wonderful. I've been afraid to talk to you cause I thought you wont like me. And seeing how you was with what his name. Well I lost all chance of telling you how I felt. Please dont jump. I couldnt live without you.' Austin said bringing his hands up to wipe the tears from his face.
Josh face fell with the most shock a person could hold. His eyes
widen and his mouth fell open. This whole time there was someone
who had thought him beautiful. Who loved him. And here he was
about to jump. Maybe Austin was right. Maybe this whole time he
had let himself appear ugly to others cause he hate himself and
thought himself ugly. But it didnt matter now. He's parents hate
him. He moved his foot out among the bridge eadge causing Austin
'Look I know your family hate you, but run away with me. We can start over new. You and I. No longer will you have to suffer the heart ache. Let me take you away please.'' Austin said now standing near Josh .
The plead that hung in the eyes of the male brought Josh to melt.
He was right, it was not worth killing himself over this. Nodding
the male try to turn around slowly causing a foot to slip making
his body fall down with rather slow motion. A yell escape his
lips trying his best to grab on anything so he can pull himself
up. Yet there was nothing. Austin who happen to be standing near
step as fast as he can the rest of the way to Josh, reaching out
to grab his hand.
The December wind drown out the cries of no before it all fell silence. A body lay among the creek ground broken and wasted. Austin lean over the railing looking down at Josh letting tears fall from his face. He knew it was he's fault for not confessing his love sooner. This would have never happened. After a moment the male call the police to report it.
Waiting for them to arrive, the male found a single rose on the side of the bridge and picked it. He move back to the railing and hop upon it taking a seat.
'Good-night sweet prince. For parting is such sweet sorrow. That I shall say good night. Till it be morrow.'-Austin said letting the rose fall from his hand watching it land next to Josh body-