Standing on this cold concrete as I see Jay walk away from me, as it hurts me to see him leave but he has to leave my life. I mean I love him, more than I ever loved any man for that matter, but it’s too late. He got his girl, and I got me. Silly me, instead of accepting what he had to offer, I basically rejected his advances and now he’s in love in another woman. As I turn my back towards him and start to walk to away, I hear my name.
“Vita” I turn around and I continue to see the back of Jay’s head, as he continues to walk down a path to his new life. I turn around once again to keep on moving to once again hear my name.
“Vita, Wait!” Disappointment again brushes my face as I turn to see no one. This time Jay’s not even in sight. I must be hallucinating. I feel so schizo, maybe I am schizo.
I turn around again and keep on walking. The cold is hitting me at its hardest as I walk down the Boulevard. Everyone is all out and happy, since it’s Valentine’s Day and I spend another one alone and miserable at that moment. My tears fell heavier than the rain on a summer’s day. It was like a thundercloud surrounded me and I felt like giving up. I feel like I lost what was left of me
- - -
Walking into bar, I didn’t know what to expect, who will I run into today. Drunks and idiots made their way surrounding the bartender, all up on her ass. Her name is Christina, and yes I sound like a regular cause I am. She’s a flirtatious red headed Latina, with one word that she says to you make you melt inside your pants … literally. I push my way to the counter to greet my favorite lady.
“We can’t do what we usually do tonight” Christina said to me as she passed me my Long Island.
“Don’t tell me you got a date or a client” I sound jealous, I am.
“Vita baby, you know I got to make my money. Besides that we would be all up in each other” If you’re wondering, then your thoughts are right.
“Chris!” I whined as I took a sip of my Long Island. She always makes it the way I like it.
“I promise tomorrow. But the money got to be made. Where’s Jay?” Christina replied to me and yes she knows about Jay.
“He’s probably with his new girl. Chris I don’t want to talk about him, please come home with me”
“Chris, you really think I’m going to fuck one of your clients”
“Okay I go on break in five minutes. Where you want me?”
“Backseat of your car”
And that’s how it happened the first time. I met Christina, a few months back at the same bar. She was working and I was drunk. Just talking out my ass about one of my ex boyfriends who so happened to cheat on me. Then she whispered in my ear telling me to calm down. I couldn’t help but look her in the eyes and I told her I wanted her lips to be touching mine and not the horizontal ones. Christina continued to whisper in my ear on how she never been with a girl but she always wanted to try and I was just down for the fuck. And we got it on in her car, the backseat...
“Oh my” Chris let out a cry as I sucked on her sweet plum. I ate this girl out like it was the last supper. She was so sweet, I couldn’t turn it down. She continues to push my head down to her, looking at her pretty flesh. And I like to hear her moan, to beautiful. I continued to go, faster, aiming to make her run like the Amazon, waiting for that one word…“Fuck!” and then she came.
“Oh my god Vita, that was…Amazing!” I started to smile as I looked up at her. I made my way back up to her breast, sucking on her areolas.
“I love the way you taste girl” I told her. I meant it.
“And I love you Vita”….Pause did she just say that.
I started to smile as I sucked on her neck, waiting for another moan to come… but instead she pushed me off of her.
“Could you ever love me like you loved Jay” Christina was serious.
“It's possible” I replied. I just wanted to make her come again.
“I’m serious Vita” She moved closer to me and she kissed me on my lips. A real kiss, and for a moment I caught myself kissing her back.
“I don’t know if I want to get caught up in this Chris”
“Let me know when you changed your mind” Chris said to me as she button up her shirt and made her way out the car. And my lips still taste like her. I guess I won here.
- - -
I walk back into the bar to watch Christina flirt with these thirsty no-life men. But I guess I was one of them, but just a female, thinking of the way I treat her. She continues to glance up at me throughout the night. She was beautiful. But I still couldn’t help thinking about Jay.
“Chris, I’m about to leave. Call me when you’re done doing what you doing” I placed my money on the table and rose from the bar stool.
“I will Vita. I might be coming over there with you tonight when I’m done so please answer” Chris replied. Sometimes I have this thing of ignoring her calls.
“I will” I possibly just lied.
- - -
I walked my ass down the boulevard, aiming for my destination. You would have thought I was a prostitute on how much I walk the boulevard, and the funny thing is... I have my own car. I have my own house, I drive a Lexus and I’m a secretary for one of the best lawyers in town. And his name is J.T. Williams. I walk to my intended destination, and look through the window. I see two wine glasses, with a bottle of the best Moscato that’s made. I can tell some Jodeci has been playing and the wonderful couple is possibly getting it on at the moment.
I hugely envied this couple, they had everything I wish Jay and I had plus more. This couple was a nice looking African American couple. He drove a Porsche and she drove a Mercedes Benz, something he bought for her. Jay bought me a Lexus for my previous birthday. She was very pretty, she light skin and very humble. Always smiling and happy about everything in life, as if he was very handsome, had a well paying job and could possibly buy her whatever she wanted. As I continued to peep through the window, I received a text message from Christina, stating that she was at my home.
- - -
Opening my front door, I hear Keith Sweat singing and I figured Christina had something planned. I walk into my bedroom to see her lying in a bed of rose pedals, fully in the naked flesh looking like Eve. She smiled at me and I could tell what she was wanting.
“I’m going to take a shower” I told Christina.
“I’m joining you” Christina replied.
Few minutes later, we both in the shower washing each other off, she washing off my dirt and I’m washing off the sex I believed that lingered to her.
“What happened to your side job?” I asked her.
“Ugh, Vita I couldn’t leave you tonight” She was telling the truth.
“So you gave up money for me?”
“I’ll give up anything for you Vita” That’s when I realized she really was in love with me.
“Give up that kitty” I demanded of her. She smiled.
And Keith Sweat’s Nobody played throughout of my apartment, outlining the remainder of the night
I arrived at work at 8:00 AM sharp. J.T. Williams was arriving at the same time.
“Hello Vita” my boss said to me as he opened the door to his law firm.
“Hello” I didn’t have much to say.
“How did you spend the night of your Valentine’s Day” He asked me. No eye contact
“I did what a dog would do” I replied
“Hmm” I guess he didn’t have anything to say after that.
“How was you and Vanessa’s Valentine’s day” I asked
“I’m going into my office. If anyone calls let me know” and he walked away as fast as I could ask the question
“Dickhead” I mumbled.
I placed myself at my desk and started to do my work. I mean if J.T. sour ass come back out here and see me doing completely nothing, then he probably would fire me. I have been working with him for years and I know him better than any other employee so I hope he wouldn’t fire me that easily. But the mood he been lately haven’t been the best. It’s like someone cut off his testicles or something. And just thinking of him and his bipolar-ness is making me feel like a schizo again. Only men do this to me. I can’t work with them, can’t live with them and sure in the hell can’t love their trifling asses. Shit.
- - -
As work is over and I’m ready to depart, I receive a text message from Jay wishing me the best in life as he had hope I move on like he did. Now why would I be happy about receiving bullshit like that, but I guess he only thinking about him. He did love me; well I hope he still does. I get up ready to reply to the text message when I bump right into J.T.
“You have been out of it. I hope you get better soon Vita” J.T. said to me
“I hope the same for you. You seem to have lost it lately with the decisions you been making” I replied. I walked out the door and into my Lexus and drove off.
I can’t stand that motherfucker.
- - -
I arrived to my favorite location pretty early on this beautiful Wednesday evening. Christina was cleaning off the counter, and smiled soon as I walked in.
“Guess what Vita” Chris was extra giddy.
“What’s up” I was eager to know what made this girl so happy
“I finished off my payments today. I officially own this bar. Its mine now” Tears of joy fell from her eyes. I hugged her.
“Congrats! I’m so proud of you” The hug was longer than I wanted it to be. I let her go.
“And I have a proposal for you” Christina grabbed my hand
“You want to move in together. I will completely understand if you don’t want to. I was just saying this because I’m always at your house anyway and I don’t see the purpose of paying for an apartment I never stay in. Most of my clothes are at your house and I wouldn’t mind paying bills with you. Even if we don’t end up together I could sleep in the other room. What do you say?” Christina’s smile was so huge
“Yes you can move in with me” I smiled. I didn’t want to ruin her happiness
“Oh my gosh. Vita you’re usually mean to me” She jumps on me and planted a big one. I didn’t push her off of me for once.
“Now I want a Long Island” I told her.
“They are free for you for now on”
I stayed with Chris until closing. I never saw her happy, well besides the times after I made her come, but she was like a little kid. It was innocence on how she was acting and it was good to know that she wouldn’t need to resort to her little dirty side job no more.
My mind felt a little split as I thought about Christina, and Jay, my boss J.T. and the beautiful couple that I envied with all dear life. Vanessa and how she stole my man and the boulevard. Too many thoughts in my head and they were all driving me crazy. I just need to focus on one thing at a time but that never seem to be the case as multiple thoughts seem to talk to me in multiple languages.
- - -
Work was a drag and I didn’t feel like going to Chris’s bar this evening so instead I decided to pay Jay a visit. His house held so many memories. Thinking of the strip poker games and the sex we had on the lawn that one time that wasn’t supposed to happen. That was the day our friendship grew personal. He told me it couldn’t happen again but I couldn’t help but keep showing up in his house in my best lingerie, turning him on again and again. We had sex everywhere in his house, in his car, in his office, where ever, whenever. But he got tired of it. He told me he valued the relationship we had more than the one we was forming and didn’t want to ruin it any longer. And that’s the day he told me about his new girlfriend. The day he left me out to freeze with winter’s frost bite.
I knocked on his door and I can hear through the wall. I turn to walk away as I hear my name.
“Vita, what are you doing here” Jay asked me
“Can we talk” I asked him.
“Come in” He opened his door and I walked pass to let myself in.
I looked around to see if I see her, but she wasn’t in sight.
“Where’s your sidekick” I asked
“Please don’t be like this. And she’s in Seattle for Business” A smile brushed across my face
“So do you have time for me?”
“What do you mean?”
I unbuttoned my blouse and I can see he grew slightly aroused
“Please don’t do this to me Vita. I told you how I felt about our relationship and how I wanted to keep this strictly business”
“This is business, our business” I blurted out as I approached him.
Jay tried his hardest to back away until he landed on the couch and I land on top of him. The sex grew wild and I knew I was wrong but I really didn’t care about his girlfriend.
I had him where I wanted him.
I was late to work. I know J.T.’s bitch ass is going to flip when he see that I am late. I mean I don’t really care on what the man got to say honestly. I walked my way to the law firm to see that it’s closed. The building is closed! The lights are off and you can tell no one was in there building. I decided to pull out the key to the building to make sure I was seeing everything correctly.
And I was right! No one was present, not even my boss, but then why was his car parked outside. I walked around the building and nope, not one sight of J.T. or any of his lawyers.
I walk myself out of the building, lock it back up and sit myself in my driver’s seat.
What should I do?
I decided to drive to Jay’s house to check up on him. Even since last night he has been unresponsive to my text messages, calls and emails. I mean he could have at least replied to one of my fucking messages. When I arrive to Jay’s house I see that the driveway is empty. I decide to knock on his door anyway.
A few moments later, Jay answers the door.
“Are you okay?” I asked him
“She broke up with me” He looked so miserable.
“What happened” I asked him as I walked inside of his house. It looked a mess. “What the fuck happen Jay?”
“What do you think Vita? She saw your fucking text messages and emails and the photos you sent me. I told you I didn’t want to mix our business life with pleasure. Sure you’re sexy and yes you know how to give head like its nothing, but I am in love with Vanessa”
Vanessa. But doesn’t J.T. date a Vanessa… and to make it worst, he doesn’t love me?
“You don’t love me?” I was curious
“Vita, I am sorry to say this but no. I love you as a friend, we known each other since college and you worked for me since I got this law firm from my father, but no. You and I both know it was Vanessa that I planned on marrying since our second semester of our second year”
I was speechless. And very confused...
“Wasn’t she in Seattle?”
“She came home last night after you left. She got an early flight back”
“May you please excuse me” I walked myself to his bathroom
What’s wrong with me? The last time I checked J.T. was dating Vanessa and when did Jay and I start working together. Jay’s not a lawyer. OR maybe Jay is J.T. that’s why he’s dating Vanessa. So why wasn’t this making any sense. I swore I didn’t like J.T. or maybe I didn’t like J.T. because he was Jay and Jay was in love with someone else. Why is this so confusing? And scary?
Then I started crying. The tears came and came. I didn’t know what to do. I became delusional, believing things that aren’t true. Like the fact that Jay loves me… he doesn’t love me. He loves Vanessa. I can’t believe that this whole time everything was just a lie, a fragment of my mind that played this sick twisted game on me and to know that i was stalking them...Shit! And Christina… Please tell me she loves me.
I cried for another 10 minutes until Jay came to the door.
“Vita, please tell me you’re okay” I can hear him through the door
“I am sorry for what I put you through” I cried. I felt so bad
“Vita its okay, the last time you had an episode, it was in college. I hope you know the truth now”
“I have to check on Christina, She probably going to end up hating me”
“Vita, you know Christina ain’t going anywhere. She loves you”
She loves me….
I arrived home to see that all of Christina’s things were gone. Everything! The house was practically empty since most of the stuff in our house was here. I called her cell phone and there was no answer. I wonder where she is.
I drove my car around the neighborhood for hours. I stopped by her bar and it was closed. I even called Jay to see if she arrived there and there was no sight of her. I guess she’s really gone.
Driving down the boulevard, I decided to go to my therapist. If anyone can understand the thoughts in my head it would be her. I arrived inside to see a red headed Latina crying in the waiting room. And that’s when it hit me, that it was Christina.
“Chris” I called out to the girl. She looked up. “Chris!”
I ran over to her so fast. She was crying hysterically. I grabbed her face and kissed her. I gave her the most that I ever gave anyone. I realize that I was in love with her, fighting the twisted mind of mine that was telling me otherwise. I love Christina, I love a girl and I didn’t care.
“Vita, you need your medicine. I was cleaning the house and I saw your prescription notes just piled up in the drawer. Were you hiding this from me?” I can tell that she was concerned
“Chris, I was hiding it from myself. I didn’t want to admit that it was really something wrong. I hated being drugged up and I hated going to the hospital every now and then because I had a relapse. I was feeling fine at first but then things started to get out of control. Even to the point that I believed that I loved Jay, where I had to sleep with him and to the point that I forgot I had you.”
“I came here to get your doctor to get you to take your medicine. But if you take your medicine babe I will make sure that I am here to help you through everything”
“I promise” I held on to Christina and we cried together
- - -
“Fuck!” Christina let out her infamous word letting me know that I won. I was on top and strapped with the dildo attached to me. I continuously stroked inside of Christina sweet wet pussy even when she tried to push off of me. I knew she wanted more.
“I love you Vita” Christina cried. She meant it
“I love you too Christina” I looked down at her. Her nipples were at their peek
“It sounds so good to hear you say that” Chris pulled me down to her face
“It sure does” I replied, kissing my girlfriend.
And this time it wasn’t nothing twisted about this affair. Everything about it was real