How to make a proper Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.
Before you start the delicate art of sandwiching, you must check your sandwiching supply. In my opinion, it is important to use whole wheat bread, to better your health. Studies have shown that a diet with more wheat is a healthier one. Then, make sure that you use Welch's Concord Grape Jelly or Welch's Strawberry Jelly, because of their superior taste and quality. In your proper Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you must use crunchy Jif Peanut Butter. A proper peanut butter and jelly sandwich would not be proper without Crunchy Jif Peanut Butter. Do not use spartan brand or any other type of peanut butter.
Warning: do not touch or consume any brand, color, or texture of peanut butter if you are allergic to it. Doing so may cause serious reactions, such as: swelling of the throat, tongue, face, eyes, nose, shortness of breathe, rashes, diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal discomfort, stroke, and/or death. Alexis Jesser is not held responsible for any medical problems, medical bills, funeral costs, or sicknesses caused by Peanut Butter or the such.
If any of these items are missing from your pantry, step with your right foot, then your left foot, using the hand over hand method, until you reach your car. (Make sure you are wearing clothes when you leave your house, otherwise you will be arrested by your local police.) Put the key into the engine, and start the car. While you are driving, make sure you use your seat belt, the gas pedal, brakes, steering wheel, turn signals, whippers, mirrors, and follow all state laws.
Warning: Talking on the phone, texting, listening to the radio, talking to a passenger, smoking, singing, jumping, laughing excessively, reading, eating, or road racing may occur in a vehicle accident followed by: broken legs, arms, fingers, toes, shoulders, ribs, spine, back, fractured skull, concussion, blindness, deafness, stroke, paralysis, and/or death. Alexis Jesser is not responsible for any medical problems, medical bills, funeral costs, or any other problems caused by the following above.
When you reach your local store in your motorized vehicle, walk in through the front doors. Ask for help to find the following:
Welch's Concord grape Jelly or Welch's strawberry Jelly.
Whole wheat bread.
Crunchy Jif Peanut Butter.
Use a cart or a basket to hold your items. Using the hand over hand method, walk to the individual aisle and find your items. Walk to a checkout line, and wait for the person in front of you to leave. Then pay for your items. Walk to your car, and put the items into your trunk.
Warning: Do not steal the shopping cart, basket or any other materials such as: food, clothing, or house-hold items from the store.
Drive back to you house, and unload the items for your sandwiching.
Unload all of your groceries. You will now need:
The peanut butter
A butter knife
Put all the things you will need out on the counter. Untie the twisty tie on the bag of whole wheat bread, and take out two pieces. Set one piece of the bread down on one side of the plate, and set the other piece of bread down on the other side of the plate. Unscrew the top of the Welch's jelly, and set the top down on the counter. Remove a seal if one is provided, and throw it away. Pick up your butter knife. Place the butter knife into the jar of jelly, as you tilt the jar 90˚. Scoop a medium size amount of jelly out of the jar, and onto one of the pieces of bread. Set the knife down. Then set the jar of jelly down, and screw the lid back on top. Put the jelly in the fridge. Then walk back to the counter, and pick up the butter knife. Without cutting yourself, spread the jelly over the piece of bread as evenly as possible.
Now, pick up the jar of Jif crunchy peanut butter. Unscrew the lid, and tilt the jar 90˚. Scoop out the peanut butter with the butter knife, and evenly apply it to the jelly-less piece of bread. Put the lid back onto the jar of peanut butter ans screw it on. Put the knife into the sink, to wash later. Take both pieces of bread, put one on top of the other. Put the sandwich back down on the plate. You have officially made a proper peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Ingredients and Nutritional Benefits
Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter
Total Fat: 16g
Sodium: 130 mg
Welch's Concord Grape Jelly
Total Fat: 0
Total Carbs: 13g
Sara Lee Whole Wheat bread
Total Fat: 2g
Total Carbs: 27g
Overall: Protein: 14 g, Fiber: 6g, Carbs: 40