CHAPTER TWO

Even after the luxury of a somewhat decent night's sleep, Amanda was tired; she was tired all the time. An afternoon nap might have helped, but at that time of day, it was just too hot to sleep, or even rest comfortably. Her hands were often puffy, making it difficult to write or do needlepoint. Her normally tiny feet were swollen, making it painful to wear shoes or walk any distance. Simply put, Amanda felt poorly almost all the time, but she tried not to complain.

          Although she didn't feel well, Amanda was happy about having her baby. Neither, Amanda or Garrett, had siblings, and his parents, like hers, had long ago gone on to Heaven. She and Garrett wanted a large family, at least six children, they decided. So with the birth of this first child, the Jennings family would begin to grow. This baby would be special in another way. He or she would be the first born in the Three Willows manor house since Amanda's birth there some twenty-five years earlier.

          With all the thinking and reminiscing, Amanda had lost track of time, but the opening of the massive front door disrupted her thoughts, quickly bringing her back to reality. A familiar voice broke the silence. "Missus, I doesn't mean to disturb you none, but I done lit da lamps in da house. Does you wants me to does anything else?"

          In her soft, Southern drawl, she answered, "No, Moses, that will be all for this evening."

          Befo' I goes out to da kitchen house, does you wants me to he'p you up da' stairs?"

          Diminutive Amanda turned in his direction, at first seeing just a large silhouette bathed in the golden light escaping from the doorway. When her eyes adjusted, she could clearly see the tall Negro, dressed in his butler's attire, bald as an eagle and with a larger than life smile. There was never a time when Moses was not butler at Three Willows. He had been a wedding gift from her father's father, Angus MacCloud, the patriarch of the MacCloud family who brought his family from Scotland to America. With the exception of Moses, Amanda's father purchased the other house slaves at the Savannah Slave Market. Shortly before Amanda was born, her parents moved from their city home in Savannah to the newly built Three Willows house, situated near the Saint Marys River down in the southeastern corner of the state. Along with the furnishings, crates of china, paintings and personal items from the house in the city, Moses, the other house slaves and gardeners were moved to Three Willows.

          From Amanda's sitting position, Moses looked even taller and his smile even broader. Nodding in the affirmative, Amanda held out her hand. In her soft, southern drawl, she answered, "Yes, I would appreciate your assistance. In my delicate condition, I have found it is a bit difficult getting up and down."

          Moses smiled back, holding out his white-gloved hand to help the Mistress of Three Willows. "I knows dat must be da truth. You sho' is in a delicate condition." He paused briefly before adding, "Thank the good Lord, us menfolk doesn't have to have no babies." He grinned, and then asked, "Missus, does you wants me ta he'p you up da' stairs?"

          "Thank you, Moses, but I think I can manage getting upstairs, if you will just be so kind as to help me off these front steps." She lifted the hem of her green silk dressing robe to place her feet steadily on the wide wooden step.

          The old Negro smiled as he rubbed his chin with his left hand. "Since you was a little'un you been a sittin' on deez here steps at night time. Guess you ain't gonna change dat no time soon.

          Smiling, Amanda replied, "It should not be much longer until I'm sitting out here with my baby. I made a decision tonight, Moses."

          "'Tis dat so, Missus?"

          "It matters not whether I have a boy or a girl, I want to teach him or her how wonderful it is to have a special place to sit and think things over."

          "Yes'm. ‘Dis here is your ponderin' place, ain't it?"

          Amanda nodded with a smile. "Yes, Moses, this is my pondering place." Absorbed in thoughts about her baby, she asked, "Moses, you were here when I was born, right?" Before he could answer, she asked, "Was I pretty baby?"

          "Yes, ‘mam, you was a beautiful lil'un, and you didn't cry all dat much...not like some babies I seen in my time. Da only baby dat was halfways as good as you is dat grandson of mine. I thoughts my Sukey was a good baby, but this old man's gotta admit dat you and my Thulani has been even better babies than her."

          "Well, that's a nice compliment, Moses." Amanda smiled and blushed. "Thulani has been a good baby, hasn't he?"

          The old Negro man nodded in agreement. "Dat's da truth! He's true to da meanin' of his name. My pappy's name was ‘da same. He told me dat it's a Zulu word dat means ta be silent." He smiled broadly. "He mights jest be shy of two years old, but dat boy is a growin' by leaps and bounds."

          "Missus, does you wants me ta ask Sukey ta fix up sumpin' real special fer yer breakfast?"

          Being an only child and living a distance from Savannah, and not fond of the neighbors' children, Amanda had no siblings or playmates with whom to play. In a world of adults, the natural attraction of one child to another child opened the door of friendship between Sukey and Amanda. Since Sukey's father was the butler and her mother was the head cook, they saw each other frequently. Although Sukey was a little older, Bruce MacCloud designated her as Amanda's companion. With that title, Sukey was allowed to wear better clothing and share Amanda's room, sleeping in the trundle that rolled out under Amanda's bed. The two little girls played together and shared secrets, the biggest secret being that Amanda taught Sukey to read and write. The special childhood rapport between the two stood the test of time, but the true depth of their friendship was hidden from polite society. A real friendship like theirs, one between a master's daughter and a slave, exceeded what polite South Carolina society would allow, much less embrace or accept.

          Amanda replied, "That's not necessary, Moses. Just ask her to awaken me about 9 o'clock." Amanda smiled. "This heat is wearing me down, so I'm trying to get as much rest as possible before the day gets too hot. Besides, after she prepares breakfast for the household staff, I know Sukey could use a little time with that grandson of yours."

          Moses helped Amanda across the wide front porch, through the door and into the marble floored reception area. "I'm sure she'd like that a heap, Missus, and that's sho' kind of you."

          Feeling a bit weak, Amanda asked Moses to wait for her to reach the second floor landing before he retired to the kitchen house loft for the night. Again, with her left hand slightly lifting the hem of her dressing robe, she began the slow, deliberate ascent of the curved staircase to the second floor. She gripped the shining Mahogany railing so tightly her knuckles turned white as an early morning frost.

          Moses was aware, just as Amanda's father had been, that the young woman had a very independent streak, so he called out, "I is awaitin' rights here, Missus. You sho' you don't wants me to he'p you up dem stairs?"

          "Thank you kindly, Moses, but I'll be fine. It just takes me a little longer these days." When Amanda reached the second floor landing, she was out of breath, but slowly turned to wave goodnight. As soon as she lifted her hand, she suddenly screamed and clinched her belly in pain before falling into a heap.

          Moses ran up the staircase, calling out, "Missus, Missus, I be right ‘der."

          When Amanda was a small child, the old slave had picked her up many times when she fell down or skinned her knee. But since she had been a grown woman, the only touch allowed was using his gloved hands to help her up or down, or in and out of the carriage. Although almost due to give birth, Amanda remained a very small woman. Moses didn't hesitate scooping the tiny Amanda up in his arms, carrying her limp body to the ornate Elizabethan-style bed. She came to, but was moaning in a way that scared Moses. After he had her stretched out on the plump, feather mattress, he patted her hand before saying, "I's gonna get Sukey from da kitchen house to he'p you out, Missus. I be rights back."

          In her soft voice, she instructed, "Hurry! Hurry, Moses! It's not time for the baby's birth. Something is very wrong. Please, get Jack Mills to ride down the road for Doctor Miller, and please, please hurry!"

          "Yes, m'am. Moses will do jest dat." The old man took the steeper back staircase down to the first floor, and practically ran to the kitchen house. From the doorway of the small oyster shell tabby building, he called up to the loft, "Sukey, Sukey! Missus Amanda is in trouble. Run right aways to her while I gets Mister Mills to ride down da road for Doc Miller."

          Just beginning to settle down after a hard day, Sukey's eyes widened in fear with the news from her father. She jumped up from her small bed. After quickly checking Thulani, who was safely sleeping in a discarded dresser drawer that served as his bed, she grabbed her big, white apron from the wall peg, and scurried down the narrow staircase from the loft, and out of the kitchen house.

          Although Moses loathed having to see, much less speak to Jack Mills, the old man moved faster than he had in years. He was halfway down the path to the overseer's cabin, when Sukey called, "Poppy! Come back and help me when you are through there."

          Sukey didn't wait for him to answer, but ran down the covered brick walkway to the main house, tying her apron as she went in the back door and through the butler's pantry. Much like when she was a child going upstairs to play with Amanda, she scurried up the narrow back staircase to the wide hallway that separated the four large sleeping rooms.

          Sukey's dark face drained of color when she entered the room, and caught her first glimpse of Amanda. On the silken bed covering, there were damp, reddish stains from the waist of her dressing gown down toward her knees. Amanda didn't respond when Sukey announced, "Mandy, I'm here." Mandy was the name she used for Amanda when no one was around, a loving remnant from childhood days.

          Nervous and afraid, Sukey rushed to her friend's side, softly calling her name and holding her extremely pale face in her darker hands. She implored, "Mandy, Mandy, please wake up."

          Amanda slowly opened her eyes. In a weak voice, she begged, "Sukey, help me! Please!"

          "I'm here, Mandy. Poppy's gone to send Mills for the doctor, and then he's a'comin' back here to help you, too. Now, just be still. I'm gonna get you all fixed." Sukey removed Amanda's velvet slippers, but hesitated to remove her dressing robe. Afraid Amanda might faint from the sight of the scarlet-tinged wetness on her dressing gown, robe and bed linens, she said, "Mandy, just be still a minute; I'm gonna get some sheets from the other room. Just rest your eyes; try to be calm. I'll be right back."

          "It hurts too bad to relax. Please, don't go, Sukey! I'm in such horrific pain that I can't tell for certain, but it feels as if I've wet myself."

          Sukey tried to maintain a calm appearance and tone to her voice. "Oh, don't you worry none ‘bout that. When Thulani was born, Molly told me that's called your water breaking. Don't you remember?"

          Amanda gave her a weak smile, but then clenched her stomach, screaming a horrid sound Sukey had never heard Amanda make in all the years they'd known each other. When the pain passed, Amanda whispered, "I don't recall right now."

          There was silence for a few moments before Amanda looked up at Sukey to say, "This is even worse than the old ladies from the church told me it would be. How in the world did you get through this when Thulani was born?"

          Sukey thought, but didn't say, if Amanda is in labor, this was nothing like her own had been with Thulani. She was somewhat relieved when she heard her father's voice ask, "Sukey, what does you wants me to do now?"

          Without turning to look, she said, "Poppy, get some sheets from the bottom drawer of the highboy and toweling from the Missus' big chest in the next room."

          In what seemed like a blink of the eye, Moses returned with the sheets and toweling. "Now what'cha wants me to do?" he asked.

          "Please go to the kitchen house, and get some water boiling in that medium-sized copper kettle."

           "Is der some hot water der, or does I has to wait for it to gets hot?" he asked.

          "There should be some hot water in that small pot hanging on the rack, so bring it here right away." As an afterthought, she added, "We might need more water. The fire's still goin' from supper, but might need more logs." She hesitated briefly before instructing, "Poppy, before you tend the fire, get Molly up here." Molly was an older house slave, the one who had helped Sukey most with Thulani's birth.

          "I's be back jest as soon as I can." Moses hurried back down the stairs to follow his daughter's instructions.

          Sukey felt an almost imperceptible squeezing from Amanda's weakened hand when she heard her whisper, "Sukey, I am so scared."

          Panic stricken herself, Sukey managed a reassuring voice when she said, "Everything's going to be all right, Mandy. Molly will be here in a few minutes and the doctor is on his way."

          "Sukey, if something happens to me, please promise me you'll take care of my baby."

          "Mandy, please, don't talk like that."

          "I confess, I am scared and do not feel shall live, but I pray the baby survives. If this is to be the case, promise me you will take care of my child."

          "You know I'd do that, but you're being silly. Nothing bad is going to happen."

          "Please, go over to my writing desk...get paper, pen and ink."

          "Mandy, you're too weak to write."

          Amanda sighed. "Will you write for me?"

          "If I get caught, you know what can happen."

          "Please! You know I'd never endanger you, Sukey. You're my friend, and besides, no one is here but the two of us. I have to make sure Garrett knows something."

          Sukey quickly went to Amanda's writing desk. With quill in hand and in a fluid script, Sukey wrote as Amanda spoke, "My dearest Garrett, please know I wanted to love you until we were both old and gray, but it appears God has different plans for both of us. I pray our child will survive, and wish that my dear friend, Sukey, be allowed to be the child's caregiver and wet nurse." Amanda hesitated to ask, "Sukey, is that okay with you?"

          She answered, "Of course."

"Thank you, Sukey. Now, just sign it, "Love beyond forever," and then, bring my Bible, the quill and paper here, please." After listening for footsteps on the front staircase, she took all three things to Amanda's bedside. With the paper placed on top of the Bible, Amanda was too weak to sign her full name, so she signed a large A on the paper. The two friends looked each other in the eye, seeing tears welled up in each. "Now, place it in the desk drawer. If I get well; we'll destroy it, but if...." Her voice faded away.

          Sukey placed the letter safely in the drawer, quickly returning to the bedside chair to resume holding her friend's hand in her own. "Mandy, please hold on; the doctor is on his way."

          "Thank you for being my friend, Sukey."

          The welled up tears began trickling down Sukey's face as she said, "Mandy, I should be the one thanking you for your friendship."

           "Will you see that Garrett writes the baby's name in the Bible? And if he doesn't, please enter it for me...along with the date of my death." Amanda forced a feeble smile. "Pray with me, my dear friend."

          Sukey leaned over, laying her head on the edge of the bed. She whispered, "Yes, I promise," before praying with and for her friend.

          The quarters for the house slaves at Three Willows were not oyster shell tabby cabins, as were the field slave quarters, but were located in a two-story cypress frame addition to the oyster shell tabby kitchen house. Moses' loud and frantic knock startled Molly. After a long day of washing and ironing the household linens, the rotund woman had fallen asleep even earlier than usual. Drowsy and disoriented, she cracked the door open to see Moses' upset expression. "Molly! Get's up and see to Missus Amanda. Her's in real big trouble."

          "Moses, slow down. Where's is da Missus at?"

          Breathless and anxious, the words tumbled out of his mouth. "My Sukey is with Missus up in da master's sleepin' room. Molly, hurry yourself, sumpin's wrong, really wrong with her."

          "Is the baby a'comin'?"

          "Yes! But Missus says it's not time, and she's a bleedin' bad, real bad." He caught his breath before adding, "Mister Mills has done gone for the doctor, but Sukey sent me ta get you. I's gotta go now and make some hot water."

          Molly nodded her head. In the dim candlelight of her room, her waking mind tried to comprehend what was happening as she hurriedly tied a faded blue dinner napkin around her head, put a dress on over her well worn sleeping garment and tied a long, white apron around her barrel-shaped body. She ran into the kitchen house where she picked up the small axe from the kindling box and grabbed a knife from the table drawer. Then, the older woman hurried along the same course to the master's bed chamber as Sukey had earlier.