The Horrors Of Fairy Tales Part I

Don't we all just love Disney? Giving us movies about a singing mermaid that falls in love with a human princes and lives happily ever after. What about Cinderella and her glass slipper? How the shoe just fit perfectly on her foot. But these are mostly to cover up what was actually written. That the stories we grew up listening to that made us smile were actually more terrible than we could possibly imagine.

Let's start with stories like The Little Mermaid shall we? When Disney brought the little mermaid to us, it was about a little mermaid who fell in love with a human prince and wanted to become human herself. Then she goes to the sea witch who turns her into a human, but takes her voice. The mermaid has three days to make the prince fall in love with her and she almost succeeds too, when he falls in love with someone else. But wait! He is under a spell and the woman is actually the sea witch. They break the spell, kill the sea witch, and live happily ever after. But how wrong this story truly was. Yes, it is true that the little mermaid did save a human prince and went to a sea witch to become human, but the rest is quite morbid. The little mermaid with no voice actually had unlimited time to make the prince to fall in love with her. But the catch was that if he were to love another, the day after the wedding she would die by turning into sea foam. She was actually his servant while she tried to seduce him. The prince did fall in love with her and thought she was the one. He promised that there was no doubt it was her. But how he lied to the poor girl when he met the woman that he was suppose to marry. For you see, he did not know that it was the Little Mermaid who saved him, but thought it was somebody else. He had spent a long time looking for the woman that he thought saved him so he could marry her. When he saw her for their first meeting because of their arranged marriage, he instantly fell in love and married the woman. So the little mermaid, sad that her beloved married another, wept. Then her sisters came from the sea. They all traded their hair to give the little mermaid a knife to kill the prince. The little mermaid took the knife and went to where the prince slept with his new wife (they were on a ship). She could not kill the prince, so instead she threw the knife into the sea and dove in just as the sun came up. Then there was something about her talking with some woman in heaven or something like that.

Now onto the next fairy tale...what about Sleeping Beauty? This tale actually had two parts to it. The first part was almost like how Disney described it. You know, with the baby and the witch putting a curse on her. Then the spinning wheel. Disney actually failed to add the fact that the princess was actually asleep for over a hundred years and the fairies had put a spell on everyone in the castle to sleep with her, so she wouldn't be alone. So anyways, for a hundred years princes tried to get into the castle. Then one actually succeeded and woke the princess up. Well actually, she wasn't woken up by his kiss. It's more horrifying than that. The prince actually rapes the girl in her sleep. Oh, and it gets better. She winds up pregnant and has twins, while she is still asleep. Well while the babies feed on her, one accidentally sucks on her finger instead. The baby sucks out the splinter and the princess finally wakes up. Then she marries the guy who raped her...which is just stupid, but okay. Then they live happily ever after right? Wrong. That's where part two comes in. As it turns out the prince's mother was actually queen of the ogres. But he didn't tell his wife that until after they got married. One day the prince goes off to war and leaves his wife and children with his mother. Big mistake really. She sends her daughter-in-law and two grandchildren to some secluded place. Then she asks her steward to cook her cute 4-year-old granddaughter, Dawn (isn't she a wonderful grandmother?). Well the steward decides to save the girl instead by killing a lamb and serving it to the queen. Then she craves to eat the other child. The steward this time kills a goat and serves it to the queen. Then she wants to eat her daughter-in-law. But the steward also saves the princess too and hides along with the family. They think they are safe until the queen finds them. She prepares a pot to cook the family and steward, that is until her son comes home. Then she throws herself into the stewpot and is eaten by whatever she put in there, which was like snakes and some more creepy things.

We all remember Snow White don't we? How she is taken in by the dwarves and then she eats the poisonous apple, but then the prince comes along and kisses her to wake her from her slumber. Well what we fail to hear from this story that there was actually more than one attempt on Snow White's life. First was a poisonous comb which was put into Snow White's hair. After that failed, there was the bodice that got tighter and tighter until it suffocated poor Snow White. Then after that failed, came the poison apple and you know the rest...or do you? Well as it turns out the Queen didn't die from falling from a cliff. No, she actually was order to wear hot iron shoes and dance in them until she dropped dead.

Next the Classical story of Cinderella. Now, Disney didn't really do all that bad with this fairy tale. They just failed to mention the fact that Cinderella went to the castle many times in an elegant dress and then left the prince to go back home. Also, there was no fairy godmother. Birds were actually the ones that brought the dress and shoes to Cinderella. Now, it's time for the horror part. Well, the prince wanted to desperately to find the young maiden that stole his heart. So, taking the slipper; he tried to find the maiden that fit it. Well when the prince gets to Cinderella's house, the stepsisters are eager to try the shoe on. The first one can't get her big toe into the darn thing, so the stepmother takes a knife and cuts the girls big toe off. Then she tells the prince that it fit perfectly. Then he sees the blood and tells the other sister to try it on. Well it turns out this sisters foot is too long, so they cut off her heel. That didn't fool the prince either, so then Cinderella tries it on and guess what? Perfect fit. Now on the wedding day the two stepsisters ask to be Cinderella's bridesmaids. At the wedding the stepsisters stand on either side of Cinderella. Then the birds that had given Cinderella the dress and slippers peck the eyes out of the two stepsisters, so they could be blind for the rest of their lives.

Well there's actually a little bit more to Little Red Riding Hood than we think. We all know about the wolf eating the grandmother and disguising himself as the grandmother. First off, how can you confuse the two. Little Red's grandmother must have excessive hair growth or something. Modern day tale tells about a woodcutter and how he saves Little Red and her grandmother from the wolf, or just Little Red. The earliest printed version was created by some French guy named Charles Perrault. He originally created the tale and in his story the grandmother is eaten and Little Red comes. Then she strips, gets into bed with him, asks her damn questions, and then gets eaten. The moral was that young and beautiful girls shouldn't talk to strangers, otherwise they would be eaten by 'wolves'.But it is said there is actually another ealier version. One saying that the wolf was actually a werewolf or ogre. He fed Little Red meat and blood of her grandmother and then burned her clothes. Then right before she gets into bed with him, she sees through the wolf's disguse and tells him she has to use the bathroom. Then she escapes using her own wits.

Now other stories were just censored. Like Rapunzel is one example. The actual truth behind this story was this. Take a young girl locked up in a tower, a prince, and they are in the middle of no where. Gee, I wonder what went on up in that tower? In the actual story Rapunzel complains about her dress getting too tight. Hmm...I wonder. Well after that her hair is cut...yada yada yada...the prince jumps out of the tower and is blinded by thorns...blah blah blah...they live happily ever after.

Also, the story Rumpelstiltskin was censored a bit. Well I would think a little gold weaving midget demon thing is scary enough. I mean who would trust somebody like that? I wouldn't. But it was either trust this guy or get executed. Hmm, tough decision. Well anyway you know the story that she promised him her first born and then she has to guess his name to keep it. Well as it turns out, when she did guess his name he didn't just disappear and nobody ever saw him again. He actually tore himself in half.

There are many more, but I don't feel like continuing. Maybe later...maybe. Fairy tales were written to teach us lessons. Each one has a moral to it, like Little Red Riding Hood was don't talk to strangers. But my personal favorite it Rapunzel, which is don't get pregnant. We know most of these tales, just not their original version. As horrible as most of them are, I find them more entertaining than today's versions.