The night is brisk and almost still. A chilled breeze rustles the leaves which echo into a uproarious cacophony in the quiet darkness. A lone figure wanders in between tombstones as the fog gently rolls in over the freshly cut grass. The young woman naively meanders, startling at each and every sound that penetrates the glass like tranquility of a cemetery at midnight. Nothing but a pale moon in between jagged clouds lights her path through the garden of the dead. She's beginning to feel discouraged, like she's wasting her time. Maybe everyone is right and they don't exist outside of the novels and TV shows and movies.
Her spirits down, she decides she wont tell her friends the next day about her futile efforts. They'd only laugh at her for being so childish.
When out of the darkness he appears...
Tall and pale, the moon reflecting off his ghostly skin, he strolls leisurely out from behind the tombstone of Edgar J. Wright. High, angled cheekbones are highlighted against his slender face and jutting blue eyes pierce her very existence. He is clad in black. A black leather trench coat shimmers in the night as he eyes the one who had been seeking him.
But who had been stalking who?
He had smelled her from a mile away and had heard her from even farther. His keen senses had not failed to detect her pounding heart and rushing excitement at finding the one she so desperately sought. He could also detect her fear.
"I knew you were real... You are real aren't you?" She said as if trying to convince herself she was not imagining things. "I told them you were real but they didn't listen... But I knew. And... And you're as beautiful as I had imagined..." Her voice was weak and shaking; in awe at the majestic wonder of the night that stood before her, entrancing her with his gaze as he slowly circled her.
"Of course we're real my darling... Have you any idea how long I've been waiting for you? How long my heart has yearned for another being who had the courage to seek me out. And also the beauty of one such as yourself... You bring warmth to my cold flesh. Please... Feel for yourself."
He spoke in long, deliberate, drawn out drawls enunciating every syllable with calculated precision and held out his hand for her to touch. She felt herself being pulled in by his words, wrapped up and coiled in them like a python seducing its prey.
"Shush my dear, don't speak... I've waited so long... Even in death my heart beats for you. Come closer and let our two hearts become one..."
In a trance, she continued forward til she was mere inches away from his smooth, chiseled face. The chill radiated from his body and soaked up the warmth from her own.
"I've loved you for longer than you know. Now embrace me at last while I show you the gift of immortality..."
She was powerless to restrain and willingly thrust her neck out for him to admire. His eyes suddenly shifted from his calm coolness to a fevered lust. He felt a tinge of restraint but dismissed it and hungrily lashed out at her in a torrent of passion.
"Oh!" She exclaimed, not expecting the pain but also reveling in the ecstasy of letting herself be consumed by this creature of mystery and seduction.
He snarled greedily, the blood shone black in the moonlight. He gave no heed to the droplets of gore spattering across his coat. Her excitement at the promise of immortality quickly eroded into a panic as the pleasure wore off and the realization of her life force being drained away into a funnel of death set in.
"Wait... Stop! This... This isn't right!"
"Right? This isn't right? I'm a fucking vampire you stupid bitch, what do you mean this isn't right?!" His earlier tone of elegance and refinement was replaced with a savage and bestial growl of rage. He plunged his nailed fingers into the buttery flesh of her neck and pulled her throat out, showering them both in crimson. He lapped it up like a child with sugar, the sweet taste of a fool's blood set his senses alight with joy.
He tossed he lifeless body to the ground unceremoniously and-
Do you see why I'm so fucking annoyed? That was my best interpretation of the mushy crap that my kind has been reduced to. I just couldn't keep it up at the end I hope you forgive me for it and if you cant then well then, fuck you. Here's the way I would have told that story.
Ahem: "Some dumbass went looking for a creature that is renowned for killing and cruelty and was for some reason surprised when she was killed by said creature that kills people for food. No different than humans kill cows for food, and yet she was shocked. The end."
I mean, think about it. That's what humans are to us. Cattle. When was the last time you made friends with a cow? When was the last time you fell in love with a cow? When was the last time a cow took you away from it all and you rode off together into the night?
And now, I cant even get a damn scream out of someone when I kill them. Do you know what that does to the fun factor of being a demon?
Oh, and let me touch on this real quick: Vampires are soulless demons. What part about soulless demons implies that we'll risk everything and fall into a forbidden love for a species we consider food and nothing else?
I hate to burst your bubble but we don't make passionate love with our naïve, young fan girls. We eat them.
And if we decide to have a little fun and play with our food before we eat it, we fuck. We don't make sweet, passionate love. We fuck. And then we kill. It's really that simple. And I don't know if the thought has ever occurred but we don't have blood that flows in our body, hence our drinking of it from others. If you've ever taken an anatomy class that means that we cant get hard. One of the drawbacks I know, but fucking for us is another thing entirely. You wouldn't understand so I wont get into details. But forget about that raging lust nonsense. Physiologically it just cant happen.
It's really all Dracula's fault. Just because some sobby sap had a soft heart and missed being able to screw properly and got his heart all torn up over some stupid wench doesn't mean we're all like that. I thought this was a progressive country that we lived in? If you believe that ridiculous stereotype then you're no better no better than a racist or a bigot and shame on you for that!
I may be a ruthless killer but I most certainly do not discriminate.
Now, I may sound like I'm some sort of sourpuss who has no fun being what I am but that just isn't true. I have a lot of fun being what I am actually. I mean, the killing of stupid, ignorant sex starved teens is well... Well what part about that doesn't sound fun? I get to be stronger than the dipshit jock who spends every waking hour in a gym, faster than that weird kid who thinks they're in the Olympics when they set foot on a track and a helluva a lot sexier than the metro loser who spends two hours in the bathroom styling his hair and practicing his quirky remarks. Factor that into the whole killing is fun thing and it's really a complete package when you think about it.
Endless supplies of food that fall into your lap coupled with not being able to get fat. Hey, it's not a bad gig really. But I cant help but feel like I'm cheating just a little. People used to be afraid of me. They would flee and scream and sometimes even get a whole mob all riled up with stakes and torches and give me a ripe old time.
But now, they just fall into my arms. And no matter how gruesome the papers describe the scene of the killing, people cant seem to think that we're "cool."
Come on, would you say that Richard Ramirez was cool? Well, actually that's not a good example, people did write to him in prison because they thought he was cool. But anyways, you get the point right? Serial killers aren't cool, so why the hell do you all think vampires are cool? I don't even like using the word vampire anymore because of the lame imagery it conjures in your silly heads now. I'm actually ashamed of using the name of my species!
Anyways, that's enough for me. I've got a full belly and I'm feeling sleepy.
He pulled his coat tighter and wiped the blood from his face. He cast a stare into the moon-
Shut the fuck up!
I burped and walked back to my crypt, geez. Leave me the dignity of calling my crypt a crypt and not fluffing it up like a pink goddamn pony. For fuck's sake...
He gave the lifeless body one last glance and murmured:
It's time I bring back the fear that vampires used to evoke. It's time I put down the rumors and myths that have undone centuries of work my kind have wrought.
So, if you have the stomach for it then join me as I put things back where they belong.