Chapter Seventeen
I decided I was going to Justin's. I just need to be with someone I can trust and love. I knocked on his door and waited for him to answer. After a few minutes, John answered the door. Wait what? Why the hell was John here? This is Justin's house, right? Just to make sure, I looked at the address. Yeah, it was Justin's house.
“Who is it?” I heard Justin yell.
“It's Dylan!” John shouted back. Justin walked up to the door.
“Oh, hey mate. I'm a little surprised really. We were just on the phone. But uh, come on in.” I can't believe John is here. What? He gonna follow Justin now? I don't think so. Justin is mine. I don't want anyone to even follow him. John, we barely know each other, I even thought you might have been an okay guy. Guess I was wrong. I walked inside and sat in the living room, trying my best to look happy.
“You're John right?” I asked, trying to sound pleasant. John sat next to me on the couch.
“Yeah. I can't say I'm surprised you don't really know.” His eyes reminded me of people taking a crap.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked John.
“Yeah?”
“Why did you follow Rachel around like a lost dog?” That one seemed to hit him. If I wasn't trying to pretend to like him, I would have laughed at his embarrassment.
“Yeah, about that, I really liked Rachel and tried to do whatever I could to get her attention. I mean, come on, she was hot. Didn't you think so? I mean yeah, you two obviously hated each other but I bet you had a secret love for her right?” Was he JOKING? I fucking HATED that bitch!
“hat's why you followed her around? Because you thought she was hot and wanted to get noticed by her? Then why didn't you take charge and ask her out while you could? And no, I found her repulsing. No offense,” By that I actually mean I hope I stabbed your heart. “But wait, you do know I'm gay, right?” Okay I thought that was common knowledge. How could John not possibly know? Especially when he followed Rachel around like he did. She surely talked about it. He looked a bit shocked.
“I thought she was joking. She mentioned you as a gay fag. She talked about how gay you were, I thought she was just picking on you.”
“Nope, I'm really gay.”
“Does Justin know?”
“Of course he knows. Why wouldn't he?” Now I'm a bit curious.
“Well, I just thought, since your gay, it's not something taken in high spirits. I mean, I thought you would have kept it as a secret or something like that.” He sounded relieved and conflicted.
“If I cared what other people thought of me in that manner, would I have told you?”
“R-right. I um, I have to go to the bathroom. Thanks Dylan.” What?
“For what?”
“Um, well, you see, you bringing your secret out like that, it's encouraging.”
“It's not a secret really, but your welcome?” I said as he went to the bathroom. What just happened? Justin walked in and stared at my confused face.
“What is it?” I looked at him and smiled.
“Nothing!” I said innocently.
“Okay. So um, I'm actually glad you came over. You see, John and me, well, we talked and...” Oh no. John is going to die if Justin says they are a couple. “...well, John reminded me of a very important fact. You're going to live with you father, a state over. You'll be leaving soon. So, I wanted to talk about it with you, because your my friend.” John, you live. But wait, he's right. I have to live with my father who lives in the next state over. My time to spend with Justin will shorten. This isn't good. But wait, that also means, I might not be able to become Justin's boyfriend.
“Oh man. I never even thought about that. Well, I mean, I knew I was going to live with him, but I never really thought about the consequences. I won't be able to spend as much time up here.”
“Exactly. So, we thought we should have a hang out night. Something for the three of us before you left.” That sounded nice. But I don't want there to be three of us. John can go screw himself.
“That sounds awesome, but, I'm moving tonight.” Justin smiled sadly. You know what? I'm going to be leaving, and I need to tell him at one point.
“J-Justin?” I cleared my throat.
“Yeah?”
“I have something to tell you.” My voice cracked. Come on Dylan. Come on! Build up some courage!
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
“I-, well,it's like this.” Stop rambling and say it! “I love you!” I put my hands up to my mouth in shock. Oh man. Uh-oh. I said it! I can't believe it! Oh god, I said it. I looked at his expression. It was shock. But not hate! Yes! That's a good thing right? Right?
“Uh-uh-uh I- uh. L-lo- what?” Oh man. He doesn't love me back? He hates me. I ruined our friendship and possible true love. “Y-you love me? As in love love? Not family love?” He asked shakily.
“I love love you and I want to be with you.” I can't believe I'm saying this! Justin cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back.
“Well then. That' a bit, shocking, really. Uh, Dylan? I'm sorry, but, I'm not gay and I view you as a friend. You are a very good friend. And, if it's okay with you, I'd like for us to remain having a, friendship.” My heart was breaking. I was just rejected. He said it so politely. I started to feel awkward. But he wanted to be friends. FRIENDS? We cannot remain friends forever! We will be together! IT was destiny! He's just confused. That's okay, I was at first too. But I came to like what I am. He'll learn too. I just have to give him some time.
“Um, yeah, sure. Friends. I can, I can do that.” Justin looked sad.
“I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry. But I'm just not gay.” This hurts too much. Hearing him be in such a state of denial was killing me. I had to leave.
“I have to go Justin. Maybe we can see each other later?”
“Yeah, that would be nice.” I walked to the door and walked out. “Dylan, are you okay?” I could feel myself begin to cry, knowing his mind was in such a state of confusion.
“I'm fine” I said and left. I walked down the street and heard the door slam behind me. Was Justin mad? He didn't seem it. I heard heavy footstep behind me and turned around. John was stomping his way up to me. Okay, none of my business, but was he okay? He reached me and matched my pace. I felt uneasy. “John? You okay?”
“Hm? Yeah. I just, can we talk? I need to get this off of my chest now.” Great, let's listen to his crybaby story.
“I guess?”
“Good, follow me, we should go somewhere private.” I reluctantly followed him. He was leading me to the forest. We walked in a little ways away from the forest line. It was kind of beautiful, but I would rather be here with Justin. He stopped and turned to me.
“How could you like Justin?” He asked me angrily. What? “Justin? JUSTIN? Of all the, JUSTIN? Ugh!”
“What are you talking about?” I asked scared. He was scaring me. I didn't like it.
“I heard you! You said you love him! Dammit Dylan! Why? Why did you have to do that to me?”
“I'm not following.”
“I love you. ME. I wanted to be with you. But you had to go and fall in love with Justin instead of me!”
“No, you love Rachel.”
“No! That was a cover! I couldn't let people know I was gay! That would ruin everything about me!” He slammed his fist against a tree and it scared me. He looked at me and softened his eyes. He walked up close to me, causing me to back against a tree. I didn't like this feeling one bit. He put a hand on the tree right above my shoulder and leaned his head in.
“Stop this.”
“It's okay, you're just confused. It's probably because you view him as hot. Well, can he protect you? You're stronger than him. Will he care about you? Please, he views you as a friend. He's not even gay! I, I a, gay and I love you. Won't you be with me?” He leaned in closer and kissed me. His lips were ruff. I tried to pull away but he was stronger than me. I was getting angrier and angrier. This bastard thought we could be together. What a joke. Stronger than me? Hah! I can't believe I thought that. I just thought that because of how shocked I was. I lifted my foot up and gave a rather hard kick to his balls. He backed up and doubled over. I stood above him with an evil grin on my face. He looked up at me with a pained face.
“You arrogant piece of shit. You actually thought I would love you. Very, very sad. Please just die and save yourself the pain of ever thinking such a dreadful thing. I actually felt sorry for you, but then you made me feel helpless, weak, and then you kissed me. Take a good look at reality. I don't love you. I don't even like you. I am stronger than you. So don't ever think you can overpower me. I will destroy you.” He staggered up.
“But, why?”
“Because you are a disgusting worm that thought he could force himself upon me. You are nothing compared to my beautiful God of beauty. My little sexy London nerd.” I ran up to him and punched him in the face really hard. He fell on his back and stared up at me. He covered hi face. I grabbed the nearest stick I could grab and whipped him with it. It was a rather bendy and thin stick. Not what I was hoping for. I dropped that useless twig and grabbed a thick branch. I hit him with it hard. He was on the ground rolling. I sat on him and began to stuff his mouth and nose with dirt. Of course, he protested. He would try to cover his mouth but I was better than him. I gripped his arms and placed them under my legs to trap them. I successfully stuffed his mouth with dirt and his nose. He started coughing the dirt out, but I rather liked the dirt in his mouth, so I gripped the branch and started stuffing the dirt in harder. I repeatedly slammed the stick in his mouth. I got up and watched as he choked. He staggered around and choked harder. He looked up at me with pleading eyes. But I was laughing too hard to care. His suffering brought me great joy. And then, he fell over and died. I haven't been this happy since I killed Rachel. Realizing what I did, I quickly dragged his body deeper into the forest until I found a mud puddle. Convenient but okay. I was just going to drop his body a half hour away, but then the mud puddle was there. So, I dropped his body, face down, in the mucky water. Satisfied, I walked away and out of the forest. By the time anyone found him, I would already be a state away. I was moving tonight.
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