Harsh streetlight I despise you
Encroaching on the serene night sky
Infecting the subtle shades of dark with your false rays
Peaceful night caresses my mind
as does the silhouetted woodland the silent hamlet.
We are not asleep we do not desire sleep
Not yet, our desire is more ethereal than that
We lay, the hushed somnolent landscape and I
Quiet in thoughtless drifting beneath a velvet canopy
To be, but not to be, not singular or individual
Just a fragmented part of the stillness and peace.
In oneness with settling nightfall.
To breathe but not exist.
But YOU, light giver!
With your obnoxious insistence that light is good
YOU refuse to grant my spirit her freedom
Your abusive glow like manacles chain her to my eyes
Crouch under the inky darkness
Charging your atoms so busily
A coarse orange blob
Polluter of pure light and shadow.
Why must my eyes fall on you!
YOU confirmer of existence!
Why do you remind me I live?
Can I not merge with nothingness for just a moment?
Must I be provoked into thought every waking minute?
Is there no escape from your righteous wattage?
Pumping out your luminosity for the safe keeping of us all
I did not ask for you! I DO NOT NEED YOU!
I am sick. SICK of your belligerent intrusion
Look at me! CAN YOU SEE ME!
with my thumbs pressed in my eyes
Mindless wonder of science. STUPID streetlight
YOU have no will of your own!
YOU are either on or off at the bequest of man
YOU cannot feel pain. Physical or mental
I can, I do! I soak it up like you soak up nature's nightly veil
YOU cannot pluck out your bulb of your own free choice
I, I choose to see you no more!!
ARRH!!! Pain. All consuming, no other thought now, just the pain!
And black nothingness, no hues of deep blues and charcoal greys
No warm orange glow.
Just ghoulish hollowed sockets.
Wet cheeks and gooey eyeballed thumbs
Sight no more, odorous pungent blood fills my nostrils
No more can your light demand I acknowledge my existence
You are gone.
All light is gone
Subtle night or harsh electric light
Look what you have made me do!
WHAT HAVE I DONE!!
Streetlight where are you?
I have struggled with the last section of this poem, how to express the pain and madness of the moment. Please make your suggestions on how I could have made this more realistic and horrific.