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Death Catalyst Devil 6: Nursery Crimes

Poem By: Kshitij Sharma
Horror


Celebrate. The Son is here View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 10, 2008    Reads: 69    Comments: 12    Likes: 18   


Sixth day in the summer of June
On a night so lonely without a moon
a prince is born with a heart of stone,
and a gaze that freezes blood to bone

Ghostly shapes on tattered walls
It's you he seeks, it's you he calls
When his little fingers cross
watch your grief and wail your loss

This is love, this is my child
Heavens shivered when he smiled
A blinding hunger in his eyes
feast of flesh with hovering flies

Education is what he needs
for a story now he pleads
So I tell him a tale of terror
misjudgment, a willful error

School of Sin has opened gates
In the shadows the father waits
Not for him those age old rhymes
Feed him with some nursery crimes

Swindle, swindle, little scars,
silent howls from prison bars
Up above the hanged man dies
like the truth in a world of lies



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Comments:

Idea finally conceived! Looks great and very scary! :D

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you :-) The credit for this goes to you. Thanks for your Ba Ba Black sheep recital the other day. That was more scary! LOL Just kidding :-D

This is by far my favorite installment in this series. I love the way you portray his power, even as an infant, he is feared. Great writing. I really enjoy your style.

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. There will be more so stay tuned :-)

Wow Kshitiji...This is amazing and Gothic. You have such a unique way of explaining yourself and your characters....it is unbelievable. All of that plus the fact that this is just so unique. I love it man! Hurry and write another ;). Take care, Regan

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Regan. I'm really glad you liked it. Wow and to think this feedback comes from the guy who is writing the mind bogglin' "Barrel of the gun" really makes my day.

I hope you will check out part 1 to 5 as well and let me know your feedback. Thanks again :-)

Wow. awesome! this is really good. it flows really well and the rhyming is extraordinary. awesome, awesome job!
yay!
:D

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Catherine. I'm glad I didn't disappoint :-)

GOSH, what a strong emotion here....

I sure am scared to even think of such a possibility but somewhere or other, we all are driving the same education inside our young kids...

strange thoughts to which even we have no answers....are being forced inside innocent souls....

IS GOD THERE and I am sure HE would guide us...

Sorry for this blabber...i hope i made some sense....

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for your wonderful commnet Pratibha. You sure have a deep insight. I really liked the way you have related it with whats happening in the world. It's a learning in itself.

For sure there is a GOD. My only purpose of the entire "Death Catalyst Devil" series is to put that point across. The higher the devil soars, the harded he will fall.

With every part of the series, the might of the devil is growing. Now he even has a child. But it won't last long :-)

WHooosh! that was outta this world mate.

Blew me off totally! Hail to thee... made me insecure as a writer.

Keep writing... we need more of these.

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow! Made you insecure as a writer!!! Yeah right. I have read all of your works and I know I won't ever be able to match that. I'm just playing around with words. You rule them.

Really. Good. Your poetry writing skills are quite amazing.

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Meagan. I'm still learning. Miles to go

My goodness...this poem is like a twisted reality-ish look on a child. I can feel and see your words, because you are an amazing writer. I salute you.

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much MP. Thats very nice of you. Well I'm still learning and I must admit this series is teaching me a lot of things (and not just about writing)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Makes my day :-)

Amazing. You're very good.

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you!

You are very focused with your storyline.

When his little fingers cross
In order to maintain the sentence length why not:
When his crooked little fingers cross

The 4th stanza needs attention. It didn't blow me away like the rest of this outstanding charismatic word play.


Love how you even used the game Hangman (as in the child's game) into this evil little contraption of yours.

Wow.

Posted: Aug 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for your wonderful suggestions. I agree with your feedback. Would surely try to improve :-)

Kshitij, as a poet, you have managed to achieve something that many of us lack - have a perfect beginning, middle and end. I know my own weakness lies in writing the end of a poem and it almost always ends up sounding lame. Kudos to you, you are not only a master at all three, but have managed to continue it poem after poem. I agree with Classy's points - 'crooked fingers' would definitely be better; ditto for the 4th stanza - it is good if seen alone, but the rest of the poem has a grander sound, and if you redo the words just a bit here and there in that one, it will be great. I love the twisted nursery rhyme in the last stanza (my sister and I have this habit of twisting all songs, poems, etc into whatever we want them to sound like, so this was special fun for me!)

And oh, I think you are too modest! You really ARE an amazing poet.

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you Urja. Your comments are very inspiring. When I started writing this series, I was lost. Now I have penned down 10 parts and this has been possible due to the wonderful feedback and encouragement received from friends like you. Thanks a ton

I am bound and begging, wanting more!! ::prostrates herself before thee:: If only I could write like this!!

Posted: Sep 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Hi Mara. That's very nice of you. You write exceptionally well yourself. Hope you would find time to read all the parts



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