I see myself dead again today
My hair is nicely done and I have black makeup on my eyes and lips.
I’ve never saw myself with black lips, not since I was really young.
My skin was pale turning blue-ish already and my eyes and mouth are still open, staring at the ceiling of my blue painted bedroom.
This time there is not blood.
I sit by my body in the bed and fix my red dress, the dress that I have made myself.
It is ruined, all ripped out in few places.
The expression of alarm covers all my face.
My hair is black with little parts dyed red and pink. But I don’t remember dyeing my hair.
Is this the future? I now remember the black lipstick my friend has insist me to get, and the black hair dye that lays in me drawer waiting to be use some day.
Is this the future then?
I smell my neck and the sweet smell of vanilla that always accompanies my still lingers in the air.
My neck is a mix of red and blue, making the imprint of hands.
I cup my body and kiss my cheek, after I lay next to me…next to it.
And I can’t help but ask myself
Who is going to kill me?
Why the hell am I dead? (A Deadly Fantasy I)
Who is going to kill me? (A Deadly Fantasy II)
Controlling the Bullet (A Deadly Fantasy III)
Who Controlled the Bullet (A Deadly Fantasy IIII)