October 20, 2013 12:30 A.M.
I’m not really sure how I should start this out; I’ve never been much of a writer. But I’m stuck here and have only 2 bullets left which are reserved for use in the very near future. I might as well write down all the shit that’s been going on. It’ll give me something to occupy my mind besides; somebody has got to leave some kind of record of this shit. So, I guess it’ll be me. I’ll write until I am out of time.
I’ll start off by telling you a little bit about us. My name is Jillian Drake and I am here with my husband Evan. We are both 37 years old. We live in Ft. Myers, Florida. I have blue eyes and waist length wavy brown hair. I’m a little chunky, I haven’t always been. Pleasingly plump is what I call it. Though I have lost a quite a bit in light of the past few weeks events. (Too bad it took a crisis to get me to lose those 20 extra pounds.) Evan thinks I look like the beautiful actress Rachel Weisz (who I’m guessing is not so pretty anymore). I don’t agree but I’ll gladly take it.
I met my husband while I was working in a diner. He walked in the door with the most amazingly beautiful bright green eyes, and dark brown hair that is just half a shade from being black. He was wearing a white T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, blue jeans that fit him very well and work boots. In my book, there isn’t anything in the world a man can wear that makes him hotter than that. Whew! I swear I couldn’t concentrate! I botched every order I took except for his. I couldn’t keep my eyes off his mouth, perfectly plump beautifully shaped lips that are a natural shade of purple. He caught me looking a couple times and I was a bit embarrassed. But DAMN! Just from looking at him I felt tremors in places I didn’t know I had. Imagine my elation when he asked me for my number. I even did a little victory dance in the middle of the dining room after he left which earned me some pretty funny looks from the other patrons.
It was definitely lust at first sight. We dated for a few months before we got married, barefoot on the beach. It was just the two of us and the cute little old Amish preacher that performed the ceremony. It was perfect. Evan got a little impatient with the longwinded speech he was giving about marriage and as soon as he paused, Evan said “Can I kiss my bride now?” and the preacher said “No, you may not. I’m not finished yet.” We laughed and finished the ceremony and spent the next 2 days in a beachfront room at the Pier View Hotel. We have been inseparable ever since. We have never spent a night apart. That was 7 years ago. I know... I know it’s the shortest love story you have ever heard. There’s no time for a full blown romance novel (Or, the steamy erotic tale it would be if I included the juicy bits).
Never in a million years would I have guessed that I’d have to kill him. Not because of arguments, not because of money and not because of infidelity. You know… the normal reasons why spouses kill each other. Nope, none of that. I have to kill him because he’s been bitten.
Bitten!! By what? A Zombie. A what? I said Zombie. Zombie!!?? Aw, No way dude!! Oh, yea. Way. That’s right. He’s been bitten by a fucking zombie. A real true honest to God shit kicking rot faced zombie. Yea, I can hardly believe it myself.
When this whole mess started I was addicted to the show The Walking Dead. How ironic. I wasn’t what you would call a zombie freak, but I did like watching the movies and TV shows. I wanted us to dress up and go to the Zombie Fest they have here every year. I had never been. The whole downtown area is covered in zombies for a day. We couldn’t go so I watched some of it online because people were live streaming it. A lot of them did really good with their makeup. Why did I want to go? Because they scared this shit out of me, I could get the thrill without the threat. And they WEREN’T REAL!
Being in this kind of situation is really fucked up, man. On the bright side all the movies I watched and Resident Evil games I played provided some helpful ideas, and got us out of some pretty rough spots. But I guess I didn’t pay that much attention to #2 on the ‘Where NOT to hide’ list, because here we are trapped in a dark musty attic. And I swear, if I hear a Halfer start yelling “I know you’re up there, Jillian. I know… because I can SMELL YOUR BRAINS!” Oh My God! I will go psycho batshit fucking crazy before I get the chance to complete the task that lies before me. That used to be my favorite line from Return of The Living Dead. Not anymore since I find us in a similar predicament.
I have accepted that my husband is going to turn into a Zombie and try to eat me. I don’t know when, because the way this illness works, it could take up to 3 days. So we decided to discuss a plan of action. Plan A. My way... say our goodbyes and he kills me then himself. Plan B. His way… We could enjoy the comfort of each other until he changed and then I am to put a bullet in his brain and then into my own.
It has been 37 hours since Evan has been bitten, and such a very small bite. There were only two tiny little teeth marks. You would think it wouldn’t be problem.
We were trying to sneak through the streets to find other shelter because our current hideout had been compromised and there was no going back. I should’ve been watching closer but I was distracted by a little girl tearing into the belly of a severely wounded pregnant woman who screamed relentlessly until she died from either her injuries or fright. I’m going to go with the latter.
As sickened as I was by the sight, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the child. There are no words to describe all that I saw. I was frozen in place by the shock of the scene unfolding before me. Then... she looked right at me. A bolt of fear shot through me as I thought she was going to come after me. She did not. She sat there looking at me, feasting on a mass of flesh that I don’t even want to think about what it may have been. Looking at me with insolence, like a spoiled brat who had just gotten her way by getting the candy bar she demanded to have and was daring me to take it from her.
I heard Evan half whisper half shout at me to “COME ON!”, and as I turned to catch up to him a Halfer sprinted out of the alley to his left and latched onto his shoulder. I raised my gun and fired. I was partly afraid that I would miss and kill Evan because of bad aim. Well, by that time I got pretty good with a gun so my shot was true and my bullet entered the zombie’s temple and exploded out the other side with so much bloody gore.
He didn’t think he’d gotten bit, he said that he didn’t feel anything. But… upon removal of his “protective gear’ (I will talk about later) and further inspection we found that the son of a bitch managed to break the skin. That’s all it took.
Evans breathing is becoming shallow now. I’m sure there’s not much time left. In the movies it takes only a few minutes, but I guess it would have to since they have to fit it all into a 60 or 120 minute show.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure all this has to do with is the Apocalypse, Armageddon. ..THE END OF THE WORLD! I believe that because, God said “INTO THE PITS OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE!”, “AND THE EARTH SHALL BE SWALLOWED UP!” and “THE DEAD SHALL RISE!” Not the exact quotes, but you get the idea.
In mid-September Asia began suffering massive earthquakes and Tsunamis wiping out most of their population before the whole damn continent disappeared. Yea disappeared! Can you believe that? Asia’s fucking huge!
Within a week Africa was suffering scorching temperatures that caused instant suffocation and incineration while being slammed with quakes as well. Anything that could burn, it burned to the ground, and anything that didn’t burn was swallowed up by the great gaping chasms the quakes created.
A few days after that, Europe got hit with a violent plague of Sudden Death that wiped them out in 17 hours. Every volcano in Hawaii erupted at the very same time, blanketing the Islands in hot ash and molten lava completely.
The rest of the world I can’t tell you about because I don’t know. I think I saw something about Australia and ice storms on the front page of a newspaper lying amongst all the other debris outside. I didn’t get to read it.
Here in the United States, The Center for Disease Control broadcast that one of their Doctors had been careless with a sample of an unidentified virus. That it took 24 to 72 hours to fully incubate. The “careless” Doc got infected, and then he went all out Zombie about a day and a half later. In the only public announcement they made, they didn’t say how the virus managed to make it out of there. They did say, that there was no cure as of yet and that they were working around the clock to find one. That everyone could continue their life as usual but if there were a death in the family, promptly but respectfully put a bullet between the eyes of your recently dead so they could not come back to life and attack you. If done within minutes after death this could be contained. That was the last LIVE TV broadcast we saw. I have a hard time believing that they didn’t know how it got out. The CDC had the power to stop it right then and there by quarantining the compound and destroying all samples and the infected.
Well, obviously they were wrong… it could not be contained. That shit spread like wildfire. Within 3 days, People were walking around knowing who they were…. but caught in gut wrenching limbo, horrified and tormented at the acts they were committing, but unable to resist the temptation of raw bleeding flesh. We saw them as they cried and screamed with great anguish while they devoured other people after frightfully chasing them down. Those are the half-zombies, they’re much stronger than the rest and they’re quick. They are so fucking scary. The other zombies are slow, just kind of following their nose, I guess. If a Halfer spots you, the race is on. They really creep me out. You really got to watch out for them.
A couple days after that started happening, long dead corpses began emerging from their graves. Those zombies can’t be put down by a shot to the head; you have to separate the head from the body. Without the head you can’t be bitten but you still have to be careful because they can scratch you. The long dead ones are easier to kill because they are mostly rotted dried out flesh.
The newer Zombies are messier. You can’t even get a little bit of zombie goo on you. In the movies and on TV, they just whack them up and blood is flying everywhere in their faces and all across their mouths and shit. Well, here in the real world, if it gets on your skin ANYWHERE you are “subject to change’.
So, this is the “protective gear’ I was talking about earlier, we looked crazy wearing it but we weren’t exactly trying to keep up with the current fashions. We found some long yellow scrub gloves, plastic face masks, raincoats, long socks, and boots from a thrift shop just down the road. It’s not easy to get your hands on all that gear, but when faced with the threat of hungry Zombies, you either find a way or you die quickly. Well, you get attacked quickly; you only wish you die quickly. In the End, our End anyway, it wasn’t enough.
THERE ARE SO FUCKING MANY OF THOSE THINGS! They just surround you slowly. It’s like in the movies when you run faster, they keep dragging ass but they ALWAYS catch up to you! And there’s JUST NO WAY OUT!!!
Damn, two months ago I would’ve sworn on my life, that I could make it forever if a zombie apocalypse were to take place. .But here we are my beloved Evan and I. Were trapped here and I am all alone now.
Evan has fallen into a deep sleep so much like death. I can see his chest rise and fall with his short jerky breaths. I tried to wake him if only for one last look in his eyes and one more kiss, but he is not responding to me. As I lie next to him and hold his hand and cover his face with kisses, I know that at any moment my husband will no longer be here. His soul will have gone to God and I will have to kill the monster his body will become and then…myself. I wonder if God will forgive me.
A few hours ago he was awake and though he was in a lot of pain, he was holding me and consoling me. He was trying to make me feel better when he is the one who is bitten. We cried and we laughed because he said “what do you mean no blood pressure, no pulse? And “send more paramedics” (more lines from RLD) then we cried even harder. I’m still crying. My heart is broken.
I wish he would’ve agreed with me yesterday when I said I wanted to end it for both of us right then. I told him I didn’t want to see him turn into a monster. That maybe if we lie side by side, and put our heads together, the bullet from this 357 would take care of us both at the same time. He countered me by saying that maybe the other wouldn’t die instantly, only to lie here and turn into what we were trying not to be and would remain that way forever because there is no one else here with us to guarantee an end. He said it would be better if we just held each other close as long as we could and made me promise to take him out immediately after his last breath. How the hell am I supposed to know exactly which breath is truly his last breath? Sometimes they don’t even get to die, they just turn. I kissed him to feel his plump lovely lips on mine. I put my face in his chest to inhale the sweet masculine scent of his skin, to feel the silky hair on his body caressing my cheek and his strong arms around me. And while I enjoyed it so much, I could not help but fear that at any second that his teeth would clamp down on my skull. I was afraid I would have to look into a face I did not recognize. Into eyes that did not know US. That was our last beautiful embrace until he became too weak to do anything but lie here. I caress him with tips of my fingers everywhere, I hope it soothes him. I don’t even know if he can feel anything, but I’m doing it anyway. Just in case he can.
I am slowly losing grip on reality in here, or I’m just becoming numb. I’m thought about smoking this joint that happened to be in the bottomless pit called my purse... which, somehow oddly enough... I managed not to lose. That’s unbelievable! I can lose it in 10 minutes at the bar. It’s filled with things that are useless now, ID’s, social security cards, birth certificates, prepaid credit cards, Wal-Mart and Winn Dixie receipts and our cell phone. Well, that’s not completely useless. I can still tell the time and look at our pictures and videos, at least until the battery dies. No, I’m not going to smoke it cause then I’ll be a crying sad paranoid mess. I’ll be freaking out, man! (I said that with a whisper in my Stoner voice.) Forgive me if my humor is out of place, it’s the only thing keeping me sane.
I can hear the moans and groans of the undead in the rooms just below me. Taunting me and reminding me that we have nowhere left to run. It’s over for us; it’s just a matter of time.
They DO know we’re up here. They just can’t get to us because I pulled up the ladder hatch and tightly wrapped the string around a nail sticking up from the floor to keep it from being pulled open. They will have to drag some kind of furniture up to stand on and pry the lid somehow to get up here. The ones down there now aren’t smart enough. I can just picture them standing right under the hatch just open-mouthed and milky eyed staring at it, waiting for us to come down. Now the Halfers, I’m kind of worried about because they still think like a human for about 3 hours or so before they become full out Zombie. As far as I can tell, there aren’t any of those down there. Not yet.
I’m afraid that Evan will be a Halfer. So I tied him up with the heavy rope I found in in a box up here along with a photo album, a box cutter and the pen and pad of graph paper I’m using to write this. I only bound his feet and hands. I didn’t hog-tie him because if he wakes up and he’s still normal I don’t want to him to be in anymore pain than he is. He has begun to jerk here and there. And a couple of times I thought I heard him say my name in a whisper, but I’m not sure. Not all victims become a Halfer first, only some and I don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with their immune system.
I have said a prayer for us, and for my sisters. We are all so far away from each other. I hope they found a place to go. There were areas quarantined off and supposedly safe near both of them. I tell myself that they made it, I don’t want to think about what probably happened to them and I wasn’t there to save them. No, nobody made me the family protector; I just have always been that way. I would get myself hurt before I let someone hurt them.
I got into my first fist fight
At 11 years old with a girl that I let bully me FOREVER because she started picking on my little sister Virgie, and I refused to let that happen. So I beat her ass, GOOD. Needless to say she never fucked with us again, but she did grow up and stabbed her OWN sister to death just last year.
My older sister April is just a fun loving outgoing kind of gal and never bothered anyone. So, when we were old enough to go bar hopping, there was always some jealous bitch wanting to fight her. Well, I wouldn’t let that happen either and so I went ahead and fought in her place before she could object. And well, that never worked out too well because it always turned out to be a free for all. You know a table trashing glass breaking melee. Oh how I miss the good times. I love my sisters.
When I last talked to them they were heading to the shelters and would call me as soon as they arrived. Then of course that was right before all communications went out. My heart is heavy with the fear that they didn’t get to the shelter. Please Lord, let them be safe. Sadly, I will never know.
If by chance this curse upon us is lifted, and they managed to survive, someone will find our bodies and see this account I have written. Maybe someone will find them and let them know that Evan and I did not get torn apart and consumed in such a grisly manner, but instead took the quick and noble way out when we discovered there was no escape. I want them to know that I was thinking of them in my last moments. April and Virgie, I love you.
I am really angry at myself that Evan got bit. It’s my fault. I should have been right behind him. If he were okay I’m sure we could figure this out and get away from here somehow. I am angry that his life has to end this way as well as my own.
He is now sweating profusely and I can see his hands and legs knotting up with cramps. I know that keeping him alive at this point is a futile attempt at holding on to him. But I said I wouldn’t do it until it was time, and it’s not time yet.
When this all started out we were being hardheaded and decided to stay at home where we were familiar with everything. We had food, beer, weed, smokes, internet and a big ass propane grill. So, we grilled out, smoked out and drank ourselves silly. Since we weren’t plummeting to the bottom of the earth like every other country did, we were confident that the Government could surely get a handle on this before it would come to all this. Yea, they got a handle on it alright.
They stationed U.S. troops on every corner and through the neighborhoods, they checked every household member and if anyone had anykind of wound or signs of illness they were immediately placed in restraints and taken to the med truck down the road to be further examined and returned or put down.
Despite the efforts of the Government, the number of walking dead quickly multiplied and eventually there were too many for the Troops to handle and they started getting wounded and killed. Either way, they came back.
About a week later, we realized that this was far from over and that we didn’t have enough to survive. So we summoned up the courage to arm ourselves with numb chucks (which Evan is very skilled with) and a large pair of garden shears (for me) and made a quick run to the convenient store across the street.
Luckily we didn’t encounter any Zombies in that store and we were able to quickly fill 2 garbage bags with non-perishable foods.
Next, we went into the tobacco shop right next door, and there were 3 zombies in there. I know one of them was the owner, Shirl. A fortysomething husky voiced biker chick that obviously wasn’t as tough as she looked because here she was all zombiefied looking to eat our brains for dinner. She was always so nice, and would give you store credit if she knew you. As I was saying a silent prayer for her soul, Evans hand shot out as fast as lightning and split Shirl’s head clean open with one powerful swing of the chucks. She went down and brain matter began seeping out of the large gash that he put in it. It was so fucking gross. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to see a lot of that.
The other 2 were young boys somewhere between 16 and 20 years old, both with a good strong build. One was blonde and the other was a redhead. I didn’t recognize either one of them. I didn’t think I had it in me, but when I saw Blondie make a beeline for my man; I ran as fast as I could with my garden shears high above my head and just planted them into the side of his head. I moved my body to the side just in time to avoid a huge sluice of blood coming right at my bare face. I would’ve puked so hard if that shit hit my face. I swung around in time to see Evan front kick the redhead into the wall display which fell apart when he hit, causing a slightly heavy bong in the shape of a dragon to fall upon his head. It did not kill him, but did put a dent in his skull. Evan then picked up the dragon, (made a sly comment about how much they were asking for it) and held it high above the zombies head and dropped it on him. The tag said $59.95. It’s value to us… priceless.
We then grabbed a few packs of cigarettes, rolling papers, several lighters, lighter fluid, a flashlight and a .357 magnum with 6 boxes of bullets that were behind the counter. What a find! That’s a hell of a gun! Somebody up there was looking out for us. In the Resident Evil games, it could take a zombies head right off! I had hoped it worked that well for us and it later proved to be true.
Fortunately once again, we did not run into any Zombies on the street on our way back home. I kind of wondered where they all went, but as long as there weren’t anywhere close to us I really didn’t give a shit.
His skin is becoming cold and clammy, his face is ashen and I can see the squiggly veins spreading about his body. I wonder if I will really have the courage to do it, or if I will just let him devour me. I am so fucking scared! I could do it right now while he is sleeping but I don’t know if he is really just sleeping…. or if he’s unconscious till the end...
And as I said in the beginning of his account, I believe that this is Armageddon. I believe that the USA is suffering the worst kind of End because of our actions. USA is the Land of The Free right? The land in which you can worship many Gods except the God this country was founded on. . The land where the “powers that be” have removed the Ten Commandments from our schools and public places despite the protests of not only the truly devout, but non- practicing Christians as well. This is a land where the people have more faith in sex and gold than they have in The Creator.
In this land, women can show, sell, bargain and barter with the whole of their bodies if they want to. Homosexuals are allowed to proclaim it and be proud. Our children are having sex before they are in their teens. Lewd and lascivious acts are even happening in the churches of all religions. Our Pastors are sleeping with the Deacons wives, the Deacons are sleeping with prostitutes. The Pastors and Deacons wives remain faithful but often satisfy their needs by themselves with a little help from the erotic romance books they keep hidden in the bottom drawer. Our Catholic Priests are raping young children and getting away with it. God said that one of Mans greatest downfalls was the temptation of the flesh.
I don’t go to church, and I’m not exactly a saint. I don’t have to stand in a room full of hypocrites for God to know my heart. I have a lot of flaws as does everyone else; but no matter how I’ve lived my life, I have always believed in the Lord and that he created us. I believe that we will all be held accountable for our actions and suffer the repercussions. That we will all suffer for our own sins as well as the sins of others.
And I believe, my friends. The time to pay the Piper has come. This curse has been bestowed upon us as punishment for our desire for flesh. Those who are attacked by a flesh eater, become a flesh eater. Those who are lucky enough to get away, well they will just be running; until all the resources are dried up and they will starve to death, or be left with the decision to commit suicide. A Sin that doesn’t allow you entrance into the Kingdom of God. Either way, we are screwed.
I just want to go home. If I could carry Evan I would go directly there. We would die together in our bed surrounded by the familiar things we worked so hard to obtain. I would totally do that but, WE CAN”T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! UGH! I’m so frustrated!
We didn’t want to leave, but it wasn’t safe to stay. Not only did we have the threat of the undead, but the threat of the few U.S. Troops left in the outer lying territories. They were given orders to move in and kill EVERYONE on sight, infected or not. That was their way of eliminating the problem. Couldn’t they see it was pointless? The whole word around us has fallen! How the fuck could they think that the States would survive. When every other country on this planet was either wiped out or on the way to being wiped out… They should’ve just nuked us. I tell you, we would have all been better off and we would have welcomed the swift destruction.
After learning about the Troops, we decided to take only what was necessary and get the hell out of there, but were worried about the elderly couple just across the way from us. They were so sweet and we had had them over a few times before for cook outs. They didn’t have any children and probably no way to get out so we were going take them with us, but we were too late.
It seems that they knew a lot more about this than we did, because they decided to opt out. The good thing is we didn’t have to see any gore because they apparently overdosed on sleeping meds. They were seated together on the couch. Her head in his lap and they were holding hands. We found an empty bottle of Ambien on the end table next to a glass of water and a note for us.
‘Evan and Jill please don’t mourn for us. We have lived a long life, a good life. We are hardly in the condition to travel and if we were to go; we would only be a burden and hinder you in your efforts to escape... This is our escape. This way, there is no pain for us. We wish you safety and good luck. You have been kind and generous to us and we thank you for it. You are the family we never had, and we love you. Please take care of each other. Sincerely, Jake and Anna.”
They did not suffer. They didn’t deserve to. For that I am thankful. We grabbed our backpacks and began our trek up the Tamiami Trail.
Not long after we set out, we saw a horde of zombies ahead that were surrounding what looked to be a disabled school bus. I did not want to see, for fear it may be children trapped. We had no choice but to go that way. If we were quiet we could make it, for all their attention was on the bus. As we got closer we could see that it wasn’t a school bus, but a county bus carrying inmates. I don’t know where they thought they were gonna take them to in the midst of all this. They were still alive. I could see the panic on their faces and they knew they were never going to get out unscathed.
Oh, we wanted to help them. There wasn’t anything that we could do that didn’t involve us being put in danger. So with great remorse we took advantage of them being distracted and moved on.
Eventually we did run into a man that escaped that bus. He said that the guards at the county jail drove them out there, parked and took the battery out. They then got into a waiting police cruiser and left them there. He said he kicked the emergency door in the back and it just came open real easy like it wasn’t even shut and he ran. They saw him but drove on, probably assuming the zombies will get him anyway. When I asked why the other prisoners didn’t run, he said there were too many zombies coming already, they must’ve been afraid. . I think he was bitten during that escape; he didn’t look none too well. He was heading home he said, to find his wife. We wished him good luck and told him about the tobacco store that probably still had all kinds of stuff left. He was going over that way.
I took a break from all this writing to stretch and check on Evan again. I looked out the small window in the front of the room; all I can see are bodies! I can hear the screams of some poor soul being torn apart by these wretched things.
My God is this really happening!!??
Evan has been moving about restlessly in his sleep. He tried to speak but I could not make out the words even when I put my ear to his mouth. His lips are dry and cracked now and his nose and mouth has formed a sticky white film inside them. I drizzled the last of the water into his mouth, and lovingly placed my hands on his face and kissed him. I don’t care how gross that might seem to you. He is the love of my life and I will have killed us both by the time the virus could disable me. With that kiss, everything we’ve ever done together raced through my mind all at once... I saw flashes of our first kiss, the first real fight, our first apartment, the sexual chemistry between us, and our wedding. It’s true, your life really does flash right before your eyes.
I think I would have already gone insane if I had not made peace with the fact that our lives are over. Even if by some miracle, someone found us and I had a chance to get out of here; to run and live only to run another day, I would not go. I could not continue without Evan. And I will not leave him by his self. As I said before, we have never spent a night apart and I wouldn’t start now. My love for him is so strong and I can’t imagine living without him. He must die, so I must die as well.
I feel selfish that I haven’t done it yet. I can’t because I know that somewhere he’s still in there. Another part of me tells me that this is cruel to let him lie here like this just because I can’t bear to let him go yet. I think he’s probably ready, but I’m not. I know that what I have to do will definitely land my soul in hell (if I wasn’t already headed there), but I keep praying and asking God to forgive me. If not, I can only hope it will be a nicer Hell than I’m already in. I don’t think it can get any worse than this.
My birthday was just 5 days ago. I didn’t realize it. Evan reminded me. We were hungry and looking for new shelter when we saw a restraunt tucked in the corner of a small shopping plaza. So, we headed there. After a thorough Zombie check we barred the door with tables and searched for food and found some beef in a deep freezer that hadn’t completely thawed yet. It wasn’t any good to us though for two reasons. #1, how are we going to cook it? And #2’ we had seen too much in the past month and neither one of us had the stomach for it. We looked around a little more and found several varieties of can goods, some packets of Capri Sun (for kids’ meals I guess) and a few cases of bottled water.
We then sat Indian style behind the counter and I ate peaches while Evan ate chicken noodle soup. We talked about old times and friends. Things we’ve done together. Things we would like to do. For those few moments, we really didn’t worry about anything. We finished eating and spread table cloths on the floor and used our backpacks as pillows. He told me he had something for me and pulled a little lump of newspaper from his pocket. I unwrapped it and it was a tiny glass teddy bear holding a heart that says ‘I Love you’. He then said “Happy Birthday”. I kissed him and thanked him for it. He told me he got it on one of our scavenger hunts a few days before. The next morning (or should I say a couple hours later), Evan said we should stick around here for a couple days not only because of the food, but also because we had found a big bag of clean dish towels. We were able to use those and some of the water to clean ourselves up. It felt nice to be even a little bit clean.
We had both gotten some much needed rest. I slept as he kept watch and vice versa. Eventually the time came to leave there too. You can’t stay in one place too long.
Well, Evan is awake now, he’s not in the condition I was hoping he would be in, and I am terrified. He’s a Halfer. He spoke to me and his voice is gravelly and deep, not his own. He asked me to untie him; he said that he loved me and that I smelled so good. He said for me to give him kiss. I did not.
So, I’m guessing it will be a couple hours until he is full zombie and I can do this. In the meantime I’ll try to keep from wigging out.
He has opened his eyes and they are no longer the bright green they were in life. They are now the palest blue and blood shot, and he is pleading with me. He said that if I came closer, he would only take a little. He said it will make him feel better. Isn’t that what I wanted? For him to feel better? He said he is sorry that he wants to taste my flesh. That he imagines that it will taste as good as my vagina does. But he used the other word. Yes, I cuss like a fucking sailor, but I hate that word. Part of me wants to go to him and hold him, let him tear into my neck with morbid intimacy. Just like the vampire movies where the scared but willing female squeezes her eyes shut as she gives in. and lets him give her his immortal kiss of death. I can’t. He will be aware of what he’s doing and suffer greatly for it while ravaging me, and I will be aware of the pain and knowledge that I will soon be a flesh eater too. That’s a much worse fate than death.
So here I sit, I’m trying to block his words out. I’m thinking of the time we were out just cruising around town and we started discussing SpongeBob for some odd reason. He asked me if I knew where SpongeBob came from, I then said (because this is what I thought) “yea, he’s a used up sponge the kitchen staff of a ship threw overboard”. He laughed so hard at me and told me where sponges really come from then I laughed till tears filed my eyes. How could I be so dingy? No, I’m NOT a blonde. Just not that educated on sea life.
Anyway, I know I didn’t tell you much about other people that we ran into, because there weren’t many. There’s no time for that now either. I’ll just say that few people we did meet all felt the same way we do. Less people together, less threat of being caught .No threat of one of us turning on the others if someone decided to keep being scratched or bitten a secret. So, we swapped stories, traded some supplies and parted ways.
As far as killing zombies. There is no glorious tale of kill or be killed. We had to kill quite a few but we were better off dodging them than standing to fight them if we didn’t have to. So we just ran from place to place until we got here. And we only settled for here because he was too weak to run anymore.
When we arrived here, there were no zombies. The house was in good condition, like they had just packed up and left for vacation. I checked the cabinets and found 2 cans of corn and a box of stale crackers .Evan by this time and was not only weak and freezing to the bone, he didn’t feel like eating, so I didn’t eat either.
We found a neat little bedroom on the second floor in the house and I told him to lie down and get some rest. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. I didn’t plan on sleeping but dozed off anyway. I woke up because I heard noise down on the first floor. I didn’t have to go check it out. I already knew what it was. Then I remembered that I mindlessly shrugged off my backpack in the hall just outside the door and it had things in it that we needed. I tried to quietly open the door to snatch the bag, but the staircase was only a few feet from the door and one saw me. I grabbed the bag and shut the door then frantically scanned the room for something to put in front of the door. The only dresser in there was too heavy for me to move. I could hear the zombie just outside the door and we were in a panic. Then Evan looked up and saw the string to the hatch, so he pulled the ladder down. He refused to go first so scrambled up there and extended my hand to him and pulled to help him get up the ladder. As soon as we started grasping the rungs to get the ladder back up, the zombie opened the door. We barely made it. That is how we got trapped here. That was yesterday.
He is full out undead now, and I feel sorry for him. He looks pitiful. Such a lost and helpless look on his face .And the moans. It sounds like he’s weeping. This is all too much for me. He doesn’t know anything but gnawing hunger now. The zombies are victims too. They didn’t ask for this. These zombies were once the people we love, friends and family.
I should’ve ended this hours ago, but I wanted to finish my account of the events. What I can most clearly recall anyway. They may not be in perfect order, but they were written as they came to mind. I hope that you may have found some of this useful. Though I don’t know what you’ll use it for. I know it’s the end of the world, so if you find this… It’s just a matter of time for you as well.
So Now that I’ve told you all that I can, it is time. I cannot let him go on this way. I am going to go to him, and I’m going to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. The moment he sinks his teeth into me, from behind his head…I will pull the trigger. This is a .357, ya know. If it does what I think it will do, one bullet just might be enough. We will die locked in a macabre lovers embrace forever. It’s looking like we are both going to get what we want after all.
I leave you with an epitaph that I found while skipping school in a cemetery years ago. It was on the headstone of Anna Thomas. Born 1857, and died 1898. I committed it to memory immediately because I found it strange and morbidly beautiful. I think it is the perfect ending to a less than perfect life.
- Jillian Drake
October 20, 20139:54 P.M
Stand here my friend,
And cast an eye.
As you are now,
So once was I.
As I am now,
So you will be.
Prepare for death
And follow me.