Lisbeth Amaral could feel the anxiety coursing through her body
as she sat there staring out the train window at the
neighborhoods that they quickly passed. In her chest an agonizing
pain throbbed as she tried to get herself to calm down. But no
matter what she knew that was something that would be close to
impossible for her to do. So, what was the purpose of her even
trying to? Her hand brushed away a few strands of her long fiery
red hair that had fallen in front of her face, as she let out a
"Only a couple more weeks to go and then I will graduate and
never have to be on this train this early in the morning again."
The thought of her graduating was the one thing that brought her
joy, even though she could still feel the stress from everything
in her life. And because of it she would always think that she
would die before it would happen. That was the way she had always
thought through whatever stressful situation she was going
through. To her it was a morbid way to let everyone know the
problems she was going through. Even though most people who knew
her, would look at her without reacting to her appearance. But
Lisbeth would always be saying how she would die soon enough,
almost like she was inviting death to come to her. And maybe she
was and she did not even know it.
As she sat back in her seat she felt the stare of someone
watching her closely. She did not really think too much of it,
because she always got men on the train staring at her. Believing
she was nothing more than an object of their desire. Even though
she was a beautiful woman, she was tired of all the men's lustful
glances and their sexual advances on her. And she knew why they
did it. It was not just because she was a beautiful woman.....but
because she had forty double d breasts, which brought about such
lustful attention to her. Yet, for some reason she felt there was
something different about this time though. Knowing that someone
was staring at her and yet she felt different in a way. A cold
sensation seemed to run down her spine, stiffening her body for a
brief moment. She wanted to look around, hoping to catch the
glance of the person, but she found herself unable to do so.
"Just relax Lisbeth; you are just having an anxiety attack. It is
nothing more than that." she said to herself under her breath.
She could not get the thought out of her mind that there was
someone there who was watching her. Bringing about a trigger
within her mind, she could not control. But a trigger for what?
That was the one thing that she was not sure about. Her eyes
continued to stare out the window at the blur of passing
neighborhoods. The whole time she had one thought that came to
her mind, which she was not sure if she really believed it or
not. I am going to die soon from everything that I am doing. It
was not that she was planning to kill herself, but with the
strange pain that she had in her chest and ovaries made her think
that she would. Especially since no doctor knew what this mystery
pain could be. So after going to the doctor and even the
emergency room with no success, she just gave up on it. Willing
to endure the pain which would change from day to day for her.
One day it would be unbearable and others it would be nothing
more than a mild numbing feeling. But that was not the only thing
which made her believe that death was going to come for her. It
was just everything in her life. The fact that she had to work
such stressful and long hours at the Taco Barn, where she spent
her nights and weekends at, the responsibilities of the
activities before graduation that she had to do, her family who
was determined to keep her working around the house doing
everything and her boyfriend who she now hardly ever seen. Yes
all that was building up inside of her to the point where she
could not take much longer. The only sense of sanity that she had
was her ex boyfriend, who was still friends with her. He was the
one that she would always call to vent out her problems too or
even just to talk about anything. He was the only one who really
knew her as well as she knew herself. And knew with Mason he
would not do anything to hurt her. He always tried to give her
good advice about whatever was bothering her. As she would do
with him as well. For there was still a part of her that cared
for him, especially after spending four years of her life with
him , she could not help feeling that. And she knew that he cared
about her too.
"Oh Mason, why can't you be waiting for me at the station?" she
whispered under her breath.
She wished that because only when she was with him that she had
felt like everything around her no longer mattered anymore. There
was something about him that made it able for her to believe
that. And he was the only one that she was able to read like a
book and really be herself with him. Not hiding her personality
because of fear of what someone would think or judge her about
it. But he was not hers anymore and they bother have accepted
that and moved on. Still, she found herself thinking about him,
wondering if he was alright and what he was doing.
A couple minutes later the train pulled into the station in
downtown Chicago, as Lisbeth let out a sigh. She knew at least
the feeling of being watched would stop soon, and she would be
able to relax again. The only thing that she could think about
was that it was just some guy, like so many others that looked at
her with lustful glares, because of the alluring curves of her
body. She knew that she was good looking, for she worked for so
long to look that good. So, she knew that she should not let
herself get all worked up because someone looking at her in
acceptance of her attractiveness. That was all that it was, at
least that was what she had said to herself, hoping that her mind
would believe it.
Later she made her way through the crowded streets of Chicago;
her eyes staying focused in front of her, as her held a large
black portfolio in one hand, a large backpack over her shoulder
as well as the straps of her large tote purse. This was the one
thing that she knew that she would be glad to never have to do
again. Carrying around all these things to and from class each
day. Even though she knew that there might be a time when she
would have to do something close to this when she would have a
show for her work. That was..... (The same thought came again) if
I don't end up dead before I graduate. This was the one and only
time that she started to wonder why she had thought that. Because
she really was not thinking about it, but it was obvious that
there was something that brought it about. Of course, right now
she knew that she could not concentrate on it right now. There
were more important things for her to concentrate on.
Lisbeth stood in front of her locker later, looking into it as
she felt herself drifting off into a somewhat daze. Her thoughts
seem to stay on Mason for some reason, even though it was not
really anything that strange. For they had a strong connection
with each other, even if it was only friendship. She started to
wonder if he was alright. If he was happy with his life right
now? She wanted to call him, but knew that she couldn't because
she would have to get to class. But for some reason she had the
feeling that she wanted him right now. Not in sexual or romantic
way, but she wanted him with her for some reason. But she could
not understand why she had suddenly felt like that. Figuring it
was because of the exhaustion which she was feeling right now,
even though her day had just started. Still, she wished that she
would be able to see him today, even though she had no idea why.
Just to see him smile at her and able to touch his hand would
make her feel better. How odd it was that she suddenly felt
something like this for anyone.
After the first class, which was a watercolors class, one of the
few that she really enjoyed, her next class was a free class. And
because of it, she felt the need to get out for a short time.
Just to walk, in hopes that that the pain inside her would stop
for a while. And who would complain if she did anyway? So she
left the school and started to walk down Michigan Avenue, the
wind caressing her face as she walked with a somewhat proud
stride. Lisbeth wanted to get her head clear of everything that
was bothering her, just so he would be able to think straight.
Now though she kept thinking about Mason....just like earlier
this morning. When she stood at her locker she wanted to call
him. Just to hear his voice for some reason. Now the same feeling
absorbed her again, now even stronger. It seemed odd that she
would have this for her ex boyfriend.....rather than her current
boyfriend that she did love. Of course her boyfriend was in
school right now as well and she could not bother him for
something so trivial as to want just to hear his voice.
As she turned onto Jackson street, her hand is holding her cell
phone, as she tries to figure out if she should call Mason or
not. She knew that he would never ignore her on purpose, always
answer when she would call. That was the one thing that she
appreciated the most about him. That he was always willingly
would be there for her no matter what. She just was not sure if
she wanted to call him. Because she knew that he would probably
be doing something important and she did not want to interrupt
him from it. Still, she would always remember how he would have a
pleasant tone and tell her that she was not bothering him or
interrupting anything. Mason's kindness made him such an amazing
man to her. It was then that she felt the phone vibrate in her
hand, which shocked her for a brief second. Luckily she did not
let go of it and let it fall to the sidewalk. When she looked at
the screen, it showed that she had one text from Mason. She smile
as she thought it seemed strange how coincidental this was. When
she opened the message it said.....GOOD MORNING. HOPE YOU HAVE AN
AMAZING DAY..... There was nothing more than that, but just that
was able to make her feel happiness.
"Thank you Mason. I always appreciate your kind......" she
started to type and then was interrupted by a stranger's voice
yelling at her.
"Hey Lady.....Watch out!!!!"
Lisbeth looked up to see a bus coming right at her. Her heart
pounded wildly and eyes widened as panic filled her soul. Without
thinking she jumped out of the way and back onto the sidewalk.
The sound of the bus screaming by with its horn blowing as she
screamed briefly but probably no one heard. There were a couple
people around her asking if she was alright, as she bent forward,
the hand holding her phone grasping her chest right now. Her body
shivering uncontrollably as the panic still gripped her, while
she tried to figure out how that could have happened. She had
always been so cautious when she was walking around the downtown
area or even anywhere.
"Are you alright?' someone asked.
"Do you need an ambulance?" a woman asked.
"No.....no, I am fine. I really have to get going." Lisbeth said
as her body stood erect.
She started to walk down the street, her body still shaking in
terror as she tried to collect herself. There was only one
thought that ran through her mind...I could have died right
there. And no one would have been there to save me. No one. It
was the one truth that she really did not want to except, but did
and felt herself become shocked about it. Still there was
something in the back of her mind that suddenly spoke up.
"What do you expect? You said you were going to die before you
graduated. So, why would you be so shocked when something like
this happened?" A voice echoed in her mind.
Now the need to hear Mason's voice became even stronger to her
and she knew that there was no way that she could really ignore
it. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, people passing her
by without even looking at her, as she stared at the screen of
her phone. Seeing that message that she had started to type that
she would send. But then she just deleted it and pressed the
button to call his number. Even though she still had the
uneasiness about bothering him, it was something that she just
ignored it. At first all she heard was the ringing tone and she
started to think that he would not answer. But within that second
she could hear the sound of his voice coming from the other end.
"Mason? Oh thank God, I got a hold of you." she said in a
suddenly excited tone.
"Lisbeth, what's wrong? You alright?" his voice asked.
She was going to tell him about her brief brush with death but
then figured it would have been better that she did not say
anything about it. For she knew that Mason would be over
concerned for her and try to get downtown to be with her. And
even though she would want that right now, she could not let him
drop everything just for her.
"Yeah, I am fine. I am just having one of those days. It just
feels good to hear your voice right now." she said as she started
"Where are you? There is a lot of noise around you." his voice
"I am walking around. I had a free class so I thought I would get
out for a little bit." she said. "I need to get a dress for
"I am sure that you will find that special one that will
compliment your beauty." his voice said.
She smiled, knowing that was the real Mason that she had loved
and in a way still did, as a friend now though. The way he talked
with such compassion was one of the many things that made him
"Thanks Mason. How is your morning going." she asked.
She listened to him talk about his latest endeavors which he had
for the day and everything else that was going on in his life.
The whole time her eyes stayed focused in front of her, as she
smiled and talked to him. That was until that very second when a
large piece of a statue high on a ledge of the building fell. It
crashed not even a foot behind her, making her jump and turn
around in terror again. Seeing the broken rubble on the sidewalk
and realizing how that could have killed her. Lisbeth started to
think that this was something more than just coincidence. Having
her come close to death twice already, and for what reason. That
was the one thing that she could not understand. She knew that
anyone would tell her that it was just coincidental, but deep in
her soul she knew that there was more to it.
"Lisbeth! Lisbeth, are you there?" Mason's voice said in a
"I am here Mason." she said as she continued to walk.
"What happened? Are you alright?" he asked franticly.
"Yeah.... There was a part of a statue that somehow broke off and
fell to the ground. It fell close behind me and scared me." she
explained, trying to sound calm.
"Lisbeth, you have to be careful. You never know what will
happen. Being downtown or anywhere can be dangerous. You never
know what could happen." he said in a worried voice.
"I am fine Mason. I miss you. I wish you were with me." she said.
Lisbeth had no idea why she told him that, even though it was the
truth, she did not want to lead him on with anything. Still, she
really wished that he was there with her, so she could look at
him and be able to joke around with him, like they used to. But
there was something more than that with them, a bond which they
shared together. Not romantic or sexual as so many people would
believe. It was something different, where they knew each other
so well and she could say anything to him and not worry about it.
"I know I miss you, too. I promise that we will get together next
week. Just like we planned and catch up on everything that is
going on with each other." he said in a kind voice. "So besides
that close brush with death.....how are things with your
"Fine. I had a free class and wanted to get out for a little
while. Get some air and walk around." she said trying to sound
"That's good. You need to get out once in a while and away from
the stress that you are dealing with." he said.
Lisbeth liked when she heard him be so concerned for her, giving
her his advice and what he believed he would do with whatever
situation. And she never really ignored what he said; in fact she
always listened and followed it. Most of the time that was, if it
sounded like something that she felt was the answer she was
looking for. Never before had she had found a man that really and
honestly cared about what she was doing and everything in her
life. Not anyone who was truly honest about it, not like Mason.
"Yeah. I need to get a dress for graduation. I hope that I could
find something." she said.
"I know that you will. You always find something wonderful that
compliments your beauty. "he said in a confident tone.
Lisbeth could feel his words touch her, like they had so many
times before, and she started to wonder why they had broken up in
the first place. And if there was a chance that they could get
back together. Even though she knew that could not happen right
now, because she was involved with her boyfriend. And she had no
idea if he was involved with anyone right now either. She knew
that she could not tell him that because it would make her seem
like she wanted him back. The thing was she was not sure what she
really wanted right now. Lisbeth was still trying to find
herself, to find her happiness (as she called it).
"You are an amazing man, Mason." she said.
"And you are an amazing woman." his voice said.
"Me? ........ Nah, I probably will be dead before I even get to
graduate. All because of the stress that I am going through." she
said in a joking tone.
For a moment she could not hear a sound coming from Mason,
thinking that she might have lost his signal. And because of it,
she suddenly found herself panicked for some reason. But then she
heard his voice, so calm and almost a whisper.
"Don't joke like that. You should never joke about death, because
in a way you are taunting it. And if you do, it will come to
you." he said in a tone that she had never thought she would ever
hear him speak.
"I am sorry; I did not mean to offend you. It was a joke, nothing
more than that." she said in a shocked tone.
"It's alright; just promise me that you will not say that again.
Especially after what had just happened with you......you should
see the seriousness about it." he said.
"Alright Mason, I will. I promise." she said as she felt her
chest throb in pain.
Lisbeth figured it was nothing more than just her own stress that
was bringing about the pain which she was feeling. But not just
that but also the strange way Mason had acted on the phone. She
had top let him go, because she was going into one of the
expensive clothing stores on State street. She started to feel
uneasy about where she was, glancing around her at the few other
women that were in there. But it was not the store that was
making her feel uneasy; it was what Mason had told her on the
phone. How she should not taunt death, because it would it would
find its way to her. Could that really happen? Would that be
possible? Two questions which stayed trapped within her mind with
no answers to be found. Maybe because there was no answer to be
found. But she was not going to let it bother her, or try not to
let it. Mainly because she knew with death there was no answers
that could be found. And if there were no one would come back to
reveal it. It was a morbid way to think, but she knew that there
were morbid truths in this world that everyone did not want to
admit to right away.
Later that day, Lisbeth made her way to the train station, her
body feeling so exhausted that she thought she was going to
collapse right there on the sidewalk. She had found a dress she
liked, a black dress with roses on it, short skirt and a somewhat
low backing. She knew it was the one that she wanted to wear for
graduation. In a way she felt pride filling her, knowing that she
found something that made her feel happy. Now though, all that
she could think about was trying to get to her train before it
left without her. She knew that she had today off from work, so
the night was hers to do with whatever she wanted. The only thing
that she could think of that she wanted was to fall onto her bed
and sleep all night. Of course, she knew that was something that
she knew would probably not happen. For she had her
responsibilities with her family that she could not ignore, which
she never did. But also too, she wanted to call Mason again. To
hear his voice again and tell him about her purchase and just
even joke around with him. She wanted to hear him laugh; actually
she needed to hear his laughter. Not really sure why that could
be, but just that was something that she needed.
When she got on the train, she sat at a window seat, letting out
a sigh of relief. She did not think about calling Mason right
now, all that she wanted was to let her body relax. And to get
her thoughts together as well. Through out the rest of her
classes, what Mason had told her haunted her mind. But it was not
only that, but the two times that she avoided death already.
Well, the first time was her own stupidity; she should have been
paying attention to where she was walking. Still, it seemed odd
that those things happened to her. As the train started off, her
mind continued to think about what Mason had said and how he
almost always made sense with what he told her. She knew that she
had to hear his voice again. Even though she was weak and
exhausted, there was something about his voice that brought about
a relaxing feeling to her. But before she could even dial his
number, the phone rang. On the screen, was Mason's name and
number. She pushed the button to accept the call, then placed it
to her ear.
"Hello?" she said in a soft voice.
"Hi. How was class?" Mason's voice asked.
"Alright. I found a dress that I really like. I am going to wear
it for graduation. And my other classes were good. Nothing really
exciting." she said smiling.
"That is great. You know I am really proud of you. You stuck with
it and was determined to make it through school and you did." his
voice said softly.
"And one of my teachers wants to buy one of my paintings. I have
to get it finished tonight so I could bring it in tomorrow." she
"That is great. I always knew that you would make it. I believe
in you Lisbeth. And I know that you will make it big in this
world." his voice said so kindly.
She talked about the train number that she was on as she looked
at the schedule, which she knew he would find odd. But would
never say anything about it. Then she was silent for a brief
second. There was a moment where neither of them said anything,
as Lisbeth found herself wanting to say something and knew that
she could not hold back any more.
"Mason....." she started to say.
"I am here." his voice replied.
"I love you......You are my best friend." she said.
"I love you too Lisbeth and you are my best friend too." his
voice said so tenderly.
"I should let you go, I have to text my mother on what time the
train is coming into the station." she said, even though she
really did not want to let him go.
"I understand. Call me later maybe. If you want, that is." his
"Of course, I will. Bye for now Mason." she said smiling.
"Bye for now Lisbeth." his voice said and then the connection was
Mason Dupre sat in his living room watching the five o'clock new,
as a strange feeling came over him. As if he knew that something
had happened, even though he had no clue to what it could be. The
blond news woman started to talk about a train wreck that
happened near Joliet, Illinois. His eyes stayed focused on the
screen, wishing.....praying that it would not be what he feared
it would be. He had remembered that Lisbeth told her the number
of the train, because she was looking for it on the schedule. And
to his horror it was the train that she was on. The reporter on
the scene said how there was no survivors....and they had no idea
how this derailment could have happened.
He sat there staring at the screen, his hand running through his
short salt and pepper hair and then covered his hands over his
"My God Lisbeth.....why did you not listen to me. Why did you
have to taunt death?" he said softly through his hands and then
took his hands away. "I will always love you. You will always be
my best friend for all eternity. "