Random First Lines: Notre Dame is a painIt is the game that I blameMy husband watches expectantlyHe loves Notre Dame so... : Poetry » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

If you were me, could you defend the given rights to all of men?

Short Story By: to the world a black balloon
Horror


Tags: horror

Beauty is but a flower
Which wrinkles will devour;
Brightness falls from the air;
Queens have died young and fair;
Dust hath closed Helen's eye.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Strength stoops unto the grave,
Worms feed on Hector brave;
Swords may not fight with fate,
Earth still holds open her gate.
"Come, come!" the bells do cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

by Thomas Nashe

View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 19, 2008    Reads: 228    Comments: 69    Likes: 12   


alt

If you were me, could you defend the given rights to all of men?

by: my heart carved out, tied to a black balloon...how funny the world will look from afar.

Take it? Let it alleviate my preordain existence.Maybe it could resemble Sauron's eye,a still bleeding dagger,to afraid to be removed from a still beating heart.Follow me ,the good sheppard ,serpentinely whispered to his loyal drove.Close your eyes and just breath the impeccable scent of pure utopian.Take a step, it's a long way back to Eden my friend.Lost within a interminable desert, not quite ready to lick the rime from his fleshless fingers.I was born of malign and oblivion, snared with-in my molest past . I am with out doubt...decaying,soon I'll be sour and obsolete, but not before I watch the amber flickers of coalition,brimstone devouring leaves, as the omniscient of paradise burns.

Did you know? expiration is tasteless.

Destine, fuck god and his ludicrous game of human chess.More bored then Brandi Cunningham attending a catholic ceremony. Slipping on sweet tea, just passing the time.Ignoring the anguish screams of unstained children.Waiting for the conclusively muffle que of duress innocence.Uncondemned blood, another glass of wolfberry tea.One hand resting on heavens gilded kitchen counter,the other inveterately stroking his pallid beard. Neglecting the girls distraughting scream..

"Is there anyone who hears me crying, I'm fucking dying...I'm wondering if I even want to survive.I never seen the sky like this, never wanted to die like this"

"Doctor my daughter,my daughter doctor is she going to be okay?"Henry asked with rehearsed words. Speaking like a man who had more narcissistic concerned for his Josef Stalin moustache , then for his slowly waning daughter.Doctor Ledger formulated that if Ashley was a stallion and her fathers facial hair was a Ford Torus. Valvoline oil would be seaming onto the pavement, and for their lodge in Ashley's torso the carrion beetles would already be late on rent. A redundant picture appeared in Ledgers head, like an insurance commercial airing on Cartoon Network. Trevor, the carrion beetle at some SameDay Loan giving a blonde permissive clerk two copies of photo I.D. and one of his pay stubs.Trevor was a high-grade, hard working flesh gluttonous parasite. Just ran into hard times, like a grocery cart, vigorously shoved into an irate train.

"Doctor, I'm asking you a question...is she going to make it or not?"

Ledger didn't want to go insane again, he didn't want to bring back the haunting pain again.

Jumping in twilight, from timeworn roof tops, only located in the remote pelagic of Ledgers mind.Oynx had swallowed everything here.Pestilence owned everything here.Confidence here was like skin liquescenting on the sun.The more you desperately tried to gather it back, the more you'll default to Onatuih.Best to use the caloric flesh as a blindfold, not to see it pour off your bones like a fountain .Bleached by Magetta's magnanimous hand , will my soul stand the test of time.Can I write secrets on it, carve "fuck the world" on the back and mail it up to heaven.Crumbling existence, splintering salivation, tranquility is for sale at Margao's floating market, but the cost egregiously, out weighs the price.

Ledgers lungs filled with the revolting aroma of reality ,as the nepenthean hospital faded back into view

"Doctor are you hearing me,I need to know if my daughter is going to make it or not".Henry apprehensively glazed around the hallow emergency room.The eschew of incarceration could effortlessly be detected in this voice."She fell Doctor, I was on the phone and she fell down the stairs.God she was always so fucking clumsy.Just a matter of time before she broke her neck."Henry now looked like a sordid scarecrow, brilliantly embrace in a blanket of funeral pyre."They always blame the parents for these things, everytime little Johny Fuckhimself down the street cracks open his headon the sidewalk,his mom gets twenty years."Henry halted his incomprehensible confession, and stared at Ledger, for pardon like a parched foxed peering at approaching headlights.Oh how Ledger would of loved to stomp the gas.

El Azizia, three in the afternoon. Bring the child into this existence, then mercurialy give him a gun.For I have curse you my son with the gift of unkismetable perishment.

"Mr.Landis I'm going to have to ask you to please wait outside". Leger said this with a compression of both vigorous and depression.The door close andHenry's echoing footsteps stopped and then progress again.-I can't go to jail-.The voice of Janus was howling inside his mind -Not over that little bitch, I'm not giving up everything I own for this little whore-.

Ashley laid in the hospital bed like a rag doll spread over a grave, with the name "my father rip apart my steams" chiseled on the head stone.Her right eye mirrored a deflated black balloon, cuts and srcapes resembled an unpietistical map, showing route to Prometheus' fire. Ashley was a lost feather, hovering around the skies of hell.

How is this righteous?, is god dispassionateness? How can he watch his angelic children simply martyrate.Ledger looked down at his potent, his Friedrich Nietzscheic believing hands. Her father did this to her, why? Was it because she refused to eat her supper or maybe because she wouldn't abide by his semasiologic.These hands they're the trader of life for death.The machine pulverized key to rapturous.He could prevent the next assailment.He could send her home.With these hands he could open a door, or give eternal tranquility.As Henry thought about how to bypassing his fate,as Ashley's eyes blanched to white, by stranglation. Ledger's proponent hands set her free,into the next life.And looking on humdrumly, God savored his iced tea .

Leaning foward, Ledger insectilely breathed into the succumbed ear of his sheep. -Your existence is but a flicker to him and a deteriorating memory to me-.

maybe more to come...


12

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

hmmm... interesting. I like it. good job.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you, this is the first story i'm proud of.

awesome! It's really good. Wonderful word-choice. Really made me think.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you very much ... you're to kind


Wow. Thats really good. ^-^ It was really poetic, and I love your vocabulary!! Nice job. xD

~Megan

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

I love your name, it reminds me of a Lovecraft story."Beyond the Wall of Sleep", check it out if you have time.

That was quite interesting and well written. =3 I loved the Music at the top. Really Well put together. =3 Keep writing.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you

wow you told me to read it and I read it lol, its amazing. Is this story during the times of the Black Plauge? I notced the picture at the top looked like on of the doctors during the time of infestation. I it is tell me I love the black plauge I did a report on it last year.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

it doesnt take place during the black plague but the Ledger...
he goes in and out of sanity.I don't want to tell the ending but
a plague doctor will play a big part in it.I find plague doctors interesting because they did so many morbid things to try and
cure the plague.

It's different, that is what I really like about it. It sounds kind of poetic.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you, I've always thought Poe did a wonderful job of mixing
the two also.

Really cool! As everyone has said... Poetic.
I really liked it.

And the songs pretty cool too
:]

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you, you're one of my favorite writers.

wow. that was nice writing, great vocab too. also the song was cool

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you ... the song maybe should of been a little more darker.But i believe it has a dark feel if you read between the lines.

honestly i have a hard time reading it. I have to concentrate on every word just to get the message. but the storyline is quite different and interesting. keep it up! c",)

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Very true , my over all flow is jagged.The point of me posting new stories are mostly to help me write better. Before I discovered this site I wouldn't dare like people read anything I wrote.

OOOOH! I liked it! great vocabulary, not to show but still very intellegent. Keep me updated!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

I really like it, very cool!Keep me updated!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Not a problem, thank you for your views.

I loved it!! Better what I have written!!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

i think you're an amazing writer and in time you're be 100 times better then me ( if not already are)

Vocab really suited the purpose :)
Its very original; you should be very proud of it!
I loved it...let me know when you post more :)
Alex

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

your name reminds me of this song ...

My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And have a hangover

This story is.... Touching. I like it. So why r u proud of this story and not the others? They r as great as this one. Be proud of all ur fantastic works. U r a dark writer. By that I mean a good horror writer. XD

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you , you're one of my favorite writers on booksies.I said you havn't influence me, I would be lieing.

Whoa. This is great. Thanks for recommending it. Very poetic. Very different. (In a good way.)

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you horror is everything to me.

I've got chills.....:)

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

and I'm over overwhelmed.

Very good
Your an amazing writer
Check out my novels if you ever get the time

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Coming from you that means alot to me, thank you very much for the support.

i like it, i got chills, hehe.
maybe u could check out my novels and tell me about them. =]

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Will do , I wish I had the patients to write a novel.

ur an awesome writer. i wait for ur next posts. i loved the first one.... this was even better.

L ♥

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you i'm a fan of yor writing also.

whoa! that was intense!!

you have a great vocabulary and seriously.......the beginning itself is giving me the creeps........i dunno what are you gonna do after this!

LOL
~Kritika

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Lol I have so many ideas, I've written notebooks full of just thoughts.Also thank you for checking out my other story.

WOW!This was so deep and full of anger?Really great!
I dont know what else to msay.Excellent.And the music was great too.It fit the story great!

:)

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You , the name of the band is Scars on Broadway.They are wonderful.

I love the way you've put this together, I agree with a few of the others - quite poetic.
Keep writing. =)

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm on vaction this week so I'm going to write another one maybe.. but after that I'll be getting replies to stop.

hey i like this the music was good it whent well with it

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you i was a little worried about using this song, but what the hell I like it.

hey man im still jealous of your talent and poeticness hehe i love your work!

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Well maybe now because of you I'll be able to get one of my stories on the frist line quote.

i agree with the other poeple. you are a good horror writer....very good. i like this one. it is very interesting.
~Lemon

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You Lemon, I am a fan of your writing also.

Beautiful.
Your style of writing is intense and inticing.
Please, write more soon.
I can't wait to read and I'm glad you decided to continue writing on this site. I only just got here and I haven't had enough of your writing yet.

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

I have a few more ideas,what I really want to do is write a story together with someone.

It was really amazing! The poem itself had many hidden meanings, and a wonderful variety of words.

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You,your comments means alot to me.

yonaika
(not registered user)

Cool sooong!! fits perfectly! I loved it!

Posted: Jul 21, 2008

I'd write a story with you if you'd like.

Posted: Jul 21, 2008

well written, and very powerful

Posted: Jul 21, 2008

Can't wait to hear your ideas and careful there.
A girl might just think you're trying to charm her.

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

it's great i can't wait to read more

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

To be honest, I had a hard time reading this. There were quite a few spelling/grammar errors, and you might want to work on the flow. But now that I think about it, the abrupt, halting quality might have been intentional as a way to illustrate the doctor's floating in and out of sanity. If that's the case then don't mind me and my constructive criticism! ^^ Very interesting subject matter, though. And I really liked the pictures you chose to accompany the piece, I thought they fit really well.

Stephanee :)

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

you are right, and i promise you it's not a desperate attempt to bring some logic in this mess of insanity.I never liked writers who had to spell everything out to their reads.It's like being a tour guide.You'll notice I have never once described what ashley or ledger looks like. Two reasons because appears are not important to me, also I wanted to focus on beliefs and emotions.The crazy parts are him fading in and out of sanity and i'm happy you notice.

This is soo good...interesting but good...as everyone has said it's poetic but that's what makes it good
AWESOME WORK
xoxoxo
DOM!!!!

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

nothing like cream soda at the end of a summer day...and thank you for your comment excuse my randomness.

This is like a poem in prose. It was very unique; I've never read anything like it. A lot of the grammar and the punctuation was off though, which made it difficult to read.
The line: "Just ran into hard times, like a grocery cart, vigorously shoved into an irate train." was genius. I loved it.

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Not a problem,I was born in West Virgina.I'm not saying that makes me stupid but when you're around poor grammar it tends to absorb you.

Brutal.
A very dark, biting narrative.
We live to suffer.
Good write.

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You.

Well after the first read I will say that your style of writing is dark. Just the way you describe attributes of humanity and things that happen within. The fingertips flesh down to the bone or something like that. All very in depth but not necessarily dark but sick or shocking could be the best word images. The message I find true to an extent but it is not whether or not I agree. I personally don't see that humanities evils that befall people are to be placed on god. I feel that the evils we allow as a society. Should hold the blame for what is going wrong in this world. People themselves and the corruption and greed of all modern things. I saw a line about Utopian I will have to go re read that. Take a step back you far from eden. This made me laugh in my head even though the context is such a reality and in no way funny. This is not even that good of a interpretation or comment your writing is so in depth I could write so much more. This is only on one read I would need many more. Your writing remind me of my own to an extent. Your vocabulary is better than mine and I tend to take a different view on the causes of the degrading world around us. Great work maybe you will check out mine if you have time. Cheers B Leaf

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You, I believe human nature is dark and evil.It's healthier to embrace it then to ignore it.

I won't lie. I had a hard time understanding. May be not my type...it's okay.
I read to enjoy and if it becomes like a text book, it becomes less enjoyable.

sorry

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Understandable, expected...I'm not writing to make a living. I enjoy writing these types of stories, and the twenty or so postive comments above are more then enough to keep me going.Thank you everyone,Pratibha please read some of my other stories maybe you'll find one you like.

sure thing will check ur other writings...i am sure u write for all genres and people...since this one is so powerful....

one question "Why" that tag "To the world a black balloon"?? me curious

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Author Comment:

I wish that was so, the truth being I've been into horror since I was seven or so...I don't see me writing a romance story any time soon.But that doesnt mean i don't respect and envy the people who do. If you're in love write a love story...

may be i should come back when i am in a relaxed state of mind...then i would be calm and the words would seep...

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Very nice!!! XD wish i Could write like that.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

My god! You're so intense!
I love it!
Don't worry about extending each into a novel, who cares, just write what comes and let us enjoy the small shorts!

Let me know when you post again.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

That was really good. I liked it!

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Intense, and dark. I don't usually get into these types but I like to expand my horizons...lol! A bit hard to follow, but I managed, as I do like your writing style. I will have to try reading some of your others later this evening. I'll be back. Perhaps I will read this one again as well. Have a great day!

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

it made me think that you were a great person and a great poet... your work literally made me lose my breathe. Good job...

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

its wonderful amazing, its the best keep on writing,read my new story "the black sword" dont forget to write a comment please write a comment................

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

You are growing on me, you are. Like a deep sweet mist that should frighten me but instead reveals more than it hides.

I loved this - inclusive of poor grammar (never "would of", always "would have") and strange (but not poor) use of very good words.

Dont lengthen this - this is your style. You move craftily from metaphor to the very specific, terrifying and satisfying your reader in the end.

Subject matter-wise - you chose well. Is the doctor really mad or just pragmatic in the extreme? Should he have sent her home for her father to kill her? In this way, this is more than simple horror, you've twined other issues, concerns here too....Smooches 4 u - u r so good when u r bad!

Posted: Aug 1, 2008

Very Intense! Wow. I can't say anything else about it..There are really no words for me to describe it. Keep me updated when you have something new. I would love to read it =)

Posted: Aug 2, 2008

I really like it
It's very interesting,
It took me about 10 minutes to read I was so interested in it ,
*laugh*
Secrets xx

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

MY FINGER IS SORE FROM SCROLLING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE! 'Rose looks up and just stares at the never ending comments above!' lolz! this was very different! in a good way and i liked it!

Posted: Aug 8, 2008

You should definitely be very proud! That was amazingly good! You have a talent for writing, and this is the first one I've read of your work! Wonderful job, hope to read more of your writing! =)

Posted: Aug 8, 2008

Wow you honestly have a knack for writing.
Your writing style is beautiful.
=]

Posted: Aug 8, 2008

I am fascinated by your dark style of writing. I had to read it a twice as it is a bit difficult to grasp at first. You've got a unique writing style- prose. Your choice of vocabulary is also very unique and varied. I think it's a good idea to sort out your few typing, spelling and grammar errors :-)
I would appreciate it if you could read and comment on my short story "Three Convictions From Self Reflection". Thanks!

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

It is so depressing... I am sorry for Ashley, the characters seem very real. For me or anyone, a perverse character is more credible than a merciful one. I have read somewhere- "some people have so small a brain that it can be fitted in a worm's head and even there it will keep on planning cruelty and murder" Henry is like that... Absolutely detestable [HAIL THE VICTORY OF ART THAT CAN BRING FORTH THE REALITY OF UGLINESS] and what doctor did is pure horror. [Is he a symbol of society?] It reminds me of a real hospital scene in my life where doctor himself suggested... he is going to be dead... Let's remove the tubes... Why waste money? Nobody wanted to see in his eyes that burnt silently with the undying desire to live.

It is a complete story and pure horror but i wish to see a sequel... kindly let me know if you ever write one.

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Very good! Hey, I was wondering if you would like to read my novel's prologue. The novel's title is called "The Many". I hope you like it! :)By the way, I give this a 5/5!

[^.^]
U Y

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

a very thought provoking read , has moments of poetic flow , i really enjoyed it and i will look in again .
terry

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

very very good!! the writing is simply amazing!
good work ^^

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Simply amazing. Nothing more I can say but WOW!!!

Love Always,
erin

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

wow! thanks for telling me to check this out...gutted it's only a short story..really good and dark and i love how you put a pic in! really good job!

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

wow that was really weird and creepy and it's really hard to figure out who the villains and the heroes are or if there are meant to be any or if it's supposed to be blurred like that. i really like it. I'll be interested to read more if there is any.

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

This is very good and I enjoy the rambling, twisted flow. In that sense it's the story is written as it should be. A difficult style to write with, but you've pulled it off.

I really hope you get around to picking out all the spelling and gramatical errors, however. I know some people will just shrug or roll their eyes and say I'm just nitpicking, but it is important. You're an artist, a word smith. Why work with flawed materials?

Overall, I'm glad you asked me to come read it. Great work.

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

great job!
I loved and the music was perfect with the story!

Peace Sb

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Wow! Lol. I'm kind of speecheless.
First off, this piece was so detailed in my opinion. I love your words, vocabulary, each sentence so descriptive. For me, it painted a vivid picture!

Sorry I didn't comment or read earlier, just got the internet back last week. Ugh. xD

Anyway, just WOW! Amazing stuff. Can't wait to read more of your work! PS. Nice little playlist.

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

its really poetic and descriptive. i love descriptive writing, it makes me feel like im watching the story in the background. love it! :]

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

I'm not into the whole anti-god thing, but you put your vocabulary to great use. I find it to be delightfully sick. "Insane men do not know they're insane" would describe this.

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

awesome

Posted: Aug 22, 2008

Nonna2
(not registered user)

Sorry for taking so long in getting around to reading your work. I am afraid that it is a bit beyond me but given the number of positive reads that you have had, you don't lack for admirers.

Kind regards,
Nonna

BTW How on earth would a seven year old gain access to horror stories, apart from possibly their own that is ?

Posted: Aug 25, 2008

Wow!! That was amazing, and touching. your writings always flow together so...poetic like. I loved your vocabulary in this writing, it was put to good use. I too am not a fan of the whole ani god thing, but i did like this story.

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

It is flowingly poetic. Different...I like it!

Posted: Sep 5, 2008



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 to the world a black balloon All rights reserved. to the world a black balloon has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

Add to Reading List
Become a fan
Email this story Email this story
Read/Write Reviews Read/Write Reviews
Print Story Print Story



Other writing by to the world a black balloon Undertow All Inhale the Downward Spiral I Cannot Go Through This Again More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Horror, God, Hate, War, Humor, Sadness, Loss, Hurt, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Friendship, Heart, Family.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.