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Submitted:Feb 18, 2013    Reads: 8    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


A good friend sees you stumbling and tells you that you've had enough to drink. Your best friend says,"Drink up bitch, we don't waste alcohol here"

Don't you hate it when you get so drunk you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling out of the yard?!


Drinks at the bar should be served in Capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in then they cut you off.

I'm not the type of girl who's gonna tell you what you want to hear so unless you want the straight up truth or opinion I suggest you avoid me when I'm drunk ;)


Messed up Monday, Tanked Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked up Friday, Smashed Saturday, and Shot Sunday, I love the days of the week!!!



At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."





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