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Britney's Ballistic Behavior

Article By: Poison Passion
Humor



This is a joke article in response to a challenge I took on in which I had to write a fake story about Brtiney Spears using the words obvious, manhole, blond, suspect, nasty, expose, and dumb. Hope you enjoy!!


Submitted:Jul 5, 2008    Reads: 159    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


Hello, my name is Martha Stewart, and we're here tonight in the studio of out local celeb gossip central, 'In the Stars'!Well, it seems Britney Spearshas done it again! She hasn't been in the news for anything new lately, but here's something that will definately catch your eye! It seems that late last night after the blond went out for a night of wild smoking and partying, she met up in a dark alleyway with ex-husband Kevin Federline! The rendezvous ended horribly though, when he tried out his new rap song on her and she pushed him down a manhole!! She did this in an obvious attempt to win her children back, but she also thought she'd go deaf from her ex's horrible attempt at stardom. She was dumb enough to the local 7-11, where a band of papparazzi had adjourned to discuss their next move to expose her for the psycho she is!! The starlet acted as if she didn't notice them-how unrealistic- and went in to buy yet another pack of cigarettes to fullfill her nasty habit.

The next day, a local of the neighborhood Kevin and Britney had met in last night found Kevin's battered and bloody body down in the manhole, making Britney the prime suspect in his murder case! When taken in for questioning, an undercover spy got the whole interview on tape and managed to smuggle it in to us frot his evening's segment. Stay tuned and you'll find out just how Britney's interview with Officer Justin Timberlake went!

We are now taking a commercial break. This show will resume shortly.

Okay, now I know you've been dying to hear what went down between Britney and her ex-boyfriend, Officer Justin Timberlake, the man who questioned her the day after Kevin's death.

Britney Spears: I don't know why ya'll are doin this to me! What, do you want a piece of me?!"

Officer Justin Timberlake: No, Britney, I had enough of you while we were dating. Now can you tell me where you werethis morningaround, say, four a.m.?

Britney Spears: Aw, you know, I was just asking this guy I met to gimme more.

Officer JustinTimerlake: Ew. Okay, I didn't need to know that. And where did you go once you were done with your man?

Britney Spears: Well, I went to meet up with K-Fed of course! He wanted to try his new song out on me, but I told him if he made another album he'd just be playing with fire.

Officer Justin Timberlake: I see. And, how did that work out for you?

Brtiney Spears: Well, I told him if he were lucky, he'd realize just how horrible his raps were and to just take his-

We're sorry, but Britney said some thigns that just aren't suitable throughout the rest of the show, so we'll have to cut it short. But in conclusion, Officer Timberlake busted Britney for murder, and she was forced to shave her head because of lice and her baby sister, seventeen year oldJamie-lynn,had to take Britney's two children, Seanand Jayden, into her own home along with her own newborn, Maddie. So Britney's in jail, Kevin's dead, and Justin's a sexy cop that's bringing sexy back! Hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of 'In the Stars',I'm Martha Stewart, and I hope to see you again tomorrow, when we discuss some other petty star with no life, maybe like myself! Joan Rivers, why the &^@! did you put that into the teleprompter, you plastic, old, over-Botoxed hag!! No come here, come here!! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW ON TO 'SEASAME STREET'

The End!! I hope you enjoed. I rally liked doing thsi challenge-it was so much fun!!





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