Online Dating-The business Of Love
If your single, most likely you belong to one or more online dating sites...Don't worry, I won't tell...and most likely all that's ever come out of it is LOTS of conversation, and very little dating. With over 40 million Americans using online dating sites, love has become a very marketable business indeed. World wide, China holds the record with 138 million online dating users a year!! I'm seeing dollar signs, aren't you? It doesn't matter if your married, 11% of all online daters are..and a staggering 51% are already in a relationship!!! Only 21% of online daters consider themselves to be truly single. What a great tool for deception!
We create online identities and most of the time what you see in real life is NOT what the person ends up looking like, or acting like. In some cases, this can be a dangerous practice. Creating a misleading or false identity can lead to a potentially dangerous scenario.
Or like this...
When using an online service, creating an identity is crucial in communicating. Face to face dates, identity is undeniable. You get what you see..The potential for false identity is virtually void. We have to depend on WORDS to decribe ourselves, whereas physical dates, we rely on body language, subtle signs that we all recognize and respond to. Height, weight, expressions and personality are visible and tangible. But the anonymity of the internet can be misleading and leaves the prospective 'date' using his/her imagination, thus opening up new and imaginative ways to 'create' ones self.
On a personal level, I myself have tried several dating sites. I'm going to give you a few examples of some of the charactors I've encountered. Now, mind you, I am always honest about my profile. I never lie or try to build myself up because I look at this way: If you build yourself up into this person that is desirable on every level, of COURSE your going to get a date! BUT, what happens when that person comes expecting the very thing that you presented to him/her? Stuff could get wierd, even dangerous. What if this person traveled a long way to meet the love of their life and what if they had a bad reaction?
Things could get ugly..
My very first online experience actually traumatized me and I stopped for quite awhile. Not quite knowing what to expect, I fullfilled all the profile requirements, sat back and waited. Sure enough, not more then 20 minutes went by and I got a hit. My self-esteem, at this point, raised a notch, and curiously, I answered the little chat box that came up. "Hi beautiful," it said...I grinned ear to ear at that..."Do you have a web cam?" came next.."yes", I answered. "Would you like to see what I look like?" Excited now, I naively said SURE! On the edge of my seat in heart-pounding anticipation, I waited for his face to show up on my screen..Only, it wasn't his FACE that came on...it was another unmentionable part of the male physique loomed up close and personal. I screamed, almost fell off my chair in my attempt to get as far away from the offending member, and promptly threw my web camera across the room. I felt visually raped, at that point, and never accepted another request for a web cam session.
My next experience had me talking with a seemingly nice gentleman from Tennessee. We seemed to have a lot in common, same music, age, likes, etc...As a matter of fact, we moved from internet communication to phone calls just about every night. I learned that he lived with his sister (hmmmm...okaaayy) and she did everything for him. Cooked his meals, cleaned his house, did his laundry...At that point, I was getting a little weirded out. But, being the nice person I am, I dismissed it, thinking well, maybe their all they have.
Then one day, he says to me, "Hey! Guess what! I have just about enough money saved up to come up to NY to live!" Wait a minute, now, excuse me? Come again? "The way I figuire it," he says, ignoring my sudden shocked silence, "you and I been talking now for over a month, and I think it's time we moved to the next step, don't you? You can take care of me just like my sister does, probably better!"
Whoaaa there, slow down, stop the presses..I already raised my kids, honey, and I ain't about to raise a 51 yr. old man!!!! NO THANK YOU!! Check please!!!! And that was the end of THAT..After a few more losers, one actually wanting me to be a booty buddy on the weekdays while he went home to his wife on the weekends..I had a good laugh over that one..Needless to say, I've learned to judge people pretty early on as to not make silly mistakes. Nigerian scams are another thing to look out for. Those silly Nigerians. Do they REALLY think we believe their building an orphange for motherless children? Get REAL!!
Summary: When it comes to Online Dating, be HONEST. Be the real you. Be watchful and cautious, you never know what kind of monsters are out there..Listen to what the other person is NOT saying, it can give you clues as to their real intentions. Have FUN! Who knows? Maybe you will meet that one special person, the one you've been waiting for forever. As for me??? I think MY soulmate is on vacation!!