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Twilight - My POV

Book review By: JustTMe
Humor


This is Pro AND Con. Mostly Con. :)This is my POV on Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. No offense intended, this is just my opinion.


Submitted:May 15, 2009    Reads: 164    Comments: 8    Likes: 3   


What is so intriguing about this series? What is so amazing about Bella and Edward's relationship? What is so "beautiful" and "sparkly" about vampires? Why are all these girls obsessing over the series?

Not to give the wrong idea, I read all the books many times over, I've scoured them for things that I've missed, and, I actually enjoyed it... until girls started telling me how hot "Edward" (they are actually describing Robert Pattinson, whom I will talk about soon enough.) is. I take great pleasure in anouncing to them that he is not real, and they have never met him. Is it not possible to read a book and get over it? Do you have to talk about Edward's hair every few seconds? It really irritates me...

Second, what is with the plotline? After a few re-readings, I discovered some faults about Meyer's plot that I find quite disturbing.

1) Edward, a century year old man, is in love with Bella, an 18 year old girl. And she loves him back. Despite the fact that he is "frozen in his glorious seventeen year old perfection", he is still an old man. He sounds like one of those female-abusing men, and she likes it. I found that disturbing.

2) Meyer's need to describe (in detail) the precise color, texture, and state (solid, liquid) that a vampire's eyes, hair, etc are. I mean, we already know that Edward has perfect skin, and golden eyes, could you not fill up the pages with repeated information? I mean, I look up to , and respect Stephenie Meyer, she is an amazing and accomplished writer, whereas I'm a teenager who is extremely bored, but honestly, maybe instead of describing vanities over and over and over again, you could build on the character's personalities.

3) Which brings me to my third point. The characters usually only have a few traits, and very little personality. Alice and Carlisle were the only likeable characters in the book. Alice, a bubbly carefree woman, and Carlisle, gernerous to the point of insanity. Amazing traits. And then there's Edward, Bella, Jacob. Edward, suicidal, over-protective, anger-issues, and hygiene issues (I swear, he doesn't wash that hair of his). Bella, the damsel in distress, hopelessly clumsy (at least there's one trait we - well, I, can relate to), selfish and vain. Then there's Jacob. He's pretty likeable. But he swears that he loves this girl, then she gets married and he's "bound" in "love at first sight" to her daughter. Creepy...

4) Now, Bella, why whine on every page? We all know that you want Edward, he's your life. Okay, be a damsel in distress, but we don't need to hear it. And Bella, just do the mature thing and give Jake up. It's better for both of you, and, to be honest, he deserves much better. Now put a sock in it.

5) Am I the only one who beleives that Bella only likes Edward because he's so-called "gorgeous"? That's the only thing she notices when she's with him, and I don't see why he likes her either. THey both don't have any redeeming qualities.

6) The end of Breaking Dawn. Now, I know that Meyer doesn't like a "tragic" ending, but honestly no one died, or even got hurt. We all got excited for the big climax, and then ... nothing. Not even a tiny bit of suspense. It ruined the entire book.

7) The thing that bugs me the most, is the movie, and the ridiculous amount of attention that it's getting. I've seen it. 3 times. It's not all that great. Well, truth be told, it stinks. Have you noticed how the cast talks to each other? It's so... awkward. You're supposed to be friends for god's sake! And Bella and Edward's "steamy" kiss scene. Now, you can clearly see Edward restraining Bella as she is getting carried away. But he's not able to do it. Why not?! He's a vampire after all, isn't he supposed to have inhuman strength? Yet he can't pull a girl away from him. Yeah, sure. And when he finally does pull away, what's with the BANG! against the wall, as if he was flung into the wall, and him yelling STOP!..? Edward's more calm than that. And all this nonsense surrounding Robert Pattinson. Here are some RP facts.

*He does not look like that without his face caked in makeup and extreme photoshop.

*He did not wash his hair for 2 months in preparation for the movie.

*He smokes. Nasty habit.

*He got expelled at 12. Now, that tells you something, doesn't it?

*He didn't read the book before he did the movie. (Probably couldn't, because he got expelled)

*He spent the 2 shower-less months alone, in preparation to be "Edward". I never got the memo that Edward was a lonely vampire who didn't like shampoo.

And honestly, he absolutely cannot act. He is a talentless, gross, ugly, un-educated boy. (Sorry Liz, it's just my opinion)

8) I could go on like this forever, but I won't keep ranting. I'll add one more comment. This isn't really something I hate about Twilight, but it did keep me occupied while I thought about it.

Alice with her seeing the future. If she sees the future, how can it change? Let's see, someone changes their mind, so it changes. But if it's in the future, it has already changed, so she should have already seen it. But she didn't, because the person didn't change their mind yet. And couldn't you see quite literally anything? How could you limit the flow of ... "future" coming at you?

9) I'm sorry, I know I said one more, but this one just popped out of my head. Edward, and his mind reading. Is he reading thoughts, or the image that the person is seeing? And isn't it possible to think about more than one thing at once? And, I don't know if I"m the only one, but I don't often think in sentences. I don't even think in words. It's just... thinking. How can Edward possibly fathom? Even with his 18 degrees in medicine. =]

Now, not to give the wrong impression, but I do like the books. I just think that they are a bit plotless, and the little plot that they have has many, many faults. But the sparkly thing. It's ... original. Now, this is just my opinion, don't go giving me a bunch of hate mail. Thanks, ciao.





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