First of all I would like to say that I do NOT want to write a
diary. Not at all. But this is our English assignment at school
so I guess I have no choice unless I want to get screamed at by
Mr Bacov, our English teacher. Isn't it funny how his name is
actually "vocab", as in vocabulary, backwards? And guess what,
dumb diary, we have to write in you - this puny little high
school 99p notebook bought at the newspaper shop - everyday till
Thursday, as if a day wasn't bad enough.
Anyway, he says we have to use lots of descriptive language,
which, by the way, is teacher talk for saying, "Just use words
that describe things, for heaven's sake". So fine then, I will.
Mr. Bacov is in his late thirties (though he looks as though he
could be my nana, good grief.) He has a moustache the size of the
Amazon rainforest and he smells like my Papa's Colgate mouthwash.
Well, his breath does. He wears blue shirts rolled up at the
sleeves and a tie, a normal one though once at Christmas he wore
a green and red one with snowballs which was hilarious. He has
real bad handwriting, and once he wrote his "v" like a "n" and
everyone thought he was Mr Bacon, which was his nickname for a
couple of months. What else? Oh yeah. He also shouts at me (and
other people too) for not doing homework and doesn't accept
excuses. He also says my grammar and spellings real bad but who
cares? I sure don't.
I know that there're a couple of mistakes already but like I
said, everyone makes mistakes.
I have to go for dinner or else Momma's gonna nag me. She's a
real good nagger. I think she ought to win the Nobel prize for
Today we went over to my nana's house and had dinner there. She's
a real good cook - one bite of her Yorkshire pudding and it'll
send ya flying. Today Mr Bacov said we had write about what
happened today at school. Nothing much happened. But there was
this cute all-American-boy who moved in town and got to be in my
friend Shania's class. Lucky thing. Shania thinks he's hot. I
wonder if they're gonna start dating soon. Speaking of dates, I
borrowed a book from the library called Mates, Dates and Fates.
It's this awesome book on mates that go on dates but end up in
Greek times with the fates.
Rats. It's nine in the evening and I still have to do my maths
homework. Ditto German. And ditto Geography. But I guess I've
done my English so I'm pretty productive…
Ok, it's nine fifty two and I've done a bit of German revision
for our pop quiz, a Geography worksheet and I am totally stuck on
maths so I guess I'll call Shania for help.
It's ten. Shania isn't home…maybe she's gone dating. Anyways, I'm
gonna go to Facebook to get some help. Or I'll sleep.
Anyways…I'll have to go so bye!
Shania WAS out dating (at MacDonald's, believe it or not) and she
came home at 2 in the morning and was groggy and cranky, so she
did not help me at all. A good friend SHE is. So I got yelled at
by Mrs. Hoskins, and I had detention. I'm doing my English real
well. I am also finished with my book, which is real quick for a
slow reader like me. I read all of it in detention. Plus I did
some of my History. AAAAAHHHHH! German test tomorrow so gotta go
It's 8 in the night now. I'm bored. My little bro Ryan is
coloring in his little coloring book (he's doing an Elephant but
it looks more like an alien) and momma's on the phone with her
friend Melanie, which I am to call Ms Robinson, and Papa's
reading the financial times. I've done all of my homework and
since I'm an angel (literally) I will help with the hovering.
I can't believe what's gotten into me. I am soooo weird. I am
writing in this dumb diary of mine, and it's HOMEWORK and I'm
actually trying hard, for once. And I broke up with Shania, who
has been my bff since I started going to Clayton High School.
What is wrong with me??? Shania and I have never had a tiff. Not
even when I started hogging her boyfriend (before Tiao, the
all-American-boy superstar from L.A.) Mick and not even when she
had her ears pierced without me when we specifically said we had
to do it together. And not even when she put a whoopee cushion
under my bed and videoed me sitting on it and then uploaded it
onto YouTube. And not even when I spilled a Shirley Temple all
over her best white dress that makes her look amazing.
It's late. I better get to bed.
Today we went out for a fancy Italian restaurant with Ryan. Momma
had spinach salad and MINERAL water (ewww!!!), Papa had beef
lasagna and some beer (typical), Ryan had a kid's meal which had
broccoli (he did not eat it), mashed potatoes (he flung this on
the walls), peas (he started flicking them at me but Momma told
him off severely) a cheeseburger for toddlers, and a carton of
Kool Aid. Talk about kids. I had some Penne Cabonara, a diet coke
and some salad.
Afterwards as we headed back home Ryan complained that there was
a stone in his shoe and we had to stop by the ice cream stand,
and then took his shoe off… and surprise, no stone! And then Ryan
said he HAD to have some ice cream other wise he wouldn't walk
and Momma said only if he made his bed tomorrow and he put on his
pouty face and said fine. Papa bought me one too, which I
thoroughly enjoyed even though obviously I already make my bed
every day. Papa then said we had to get a move on so I ate my ice
Ryan dropped it on the floor and then cried and demanded for
another one, but everyone said NO, so he didn't have one. Tough
luck, loser, I muttered.
Now I am stuffed full and so, goodnight!!!!
I am so excited as I write this as today we had to hand our
diary. And I got an A minus! That is the best grade I have ever
received for English. Mr. Bacov put a comment too:
Johanna, you have certainly expressed feeling and put lots of
descriptive language in your diary. Good job! I was tempted to
give you an A, but since you made a lot of grammatical mistakes,
I gave you an A - since you impressed me a lot.
Well aint that awesome! Momma and papa were pleased. Ryan was
not. He did not like the bit where I criticized him. We're going
to go shopping at Wallmann's tomorrow. I am going to buy a nicer
notebook and continue you, my dear diary.