Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Technology and the VooDoo Priestess

Essay By: Donna Cavanagh
Humor



This is what happened when my technology toys came into contact with a VooDoo Priestess from the bayou.


Submitted:Feb 26, 2010    Reads: 224    Comments: 4    Likes: 4   


This week, I felt as if a technology curse had been aimed directly at me.I am not sure why I fell victim to this curse. The only thing I can think of is that I followed a Voodoo priestess on Twitter, so maybe that had something to do with my bad luck. I thought she was interesting. Come on, not many Voodoo priestesses pop up in my neighborhood every day! I was naturally intrigued at her self-proclaimed powers, so after a few direct messages, I had to take a look at her website.

Buried deep within the content on the site were spells she could perform. Most revolved around money and love but one was to "eliminate the enemies in your life".As enticing as this sounded since I do keep a list, I got a little freaked out and clicked off the site.I have watched enough paranormal shows on the Discovery and SyFy channels to know if you mess with the wrong forces and open the wrong doors, bad things can waltz into your house.So, in the spirit of self-preservation, I quickly un-followed the priestess, and then proceeded to Lysol the room. I figured if Lysol can get rid of Swine Flu germs, it should be able to wipe out bad karma. However, the next day, my technology troubles began.

It started with Twitter.I somehow got a bug. I noticed weird, somewhat graphic direct messages coming to me, but I just deleted them. I thought they were another gimmick for people to make money at home or an affiliate program that sold sex toys.Little did I know that my own direct messages were sending the same crap out.So, I asked the people of Twitter if they knew what was happening. Two people were very nice and told me they were also sending and receiving the same messages, and I was not alone. Seven people yelled at me in capital letters: CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD BEFORE YOU AFFECT OTHER ACCOUNTS! I promptly did that, and it seems to have solved the problem. The people who yelled at me also de-followed me but good riddance. If you can't forgive someone for a Twitter boo-boo, then you are not my kind of people.

The next day, my cell phone started acting up.I had downloaded "At Last" by Etta James as my ringtone.This classic is one of my favorites.This phone is only a month old. My old one, which played Frank Sinatra "Come Fly with Me", got tossed into the washing machine accidentally and well, I couldn't go fly with Frank anymore.

I quickly adjusted to this new song and this new phone. Then two days ago, no more Etta.When someone called, my phone emitted that boring, generic AT&T tone.I checked my settings and they were fine. I went into my saved downloads and the display read "empty". Somehow, my Etta James was erased.I called customer service and a very nice woman tried to get my Etta back.We tried re-ordering the song through the phone and then my computer - but nothing. The song would not go through. Then, she informed me we would have to go to level 2 technical support.Okay. Henry came on the phone and tried for 45 minutes to get Etta back.Nothing worked there. So, he made out a trouble ticket and sent me to the next level of tech support.Travis became my next phone buddy.He used every technical solution he could think of but still no Etta. He tried to purchase other songs, but still no music. After spending two-and-a-half hours on this technical glitch, I offered to give up.

"It's okay, I will just use the regular ringtone. I have "At Last" on my ITunes. I will live."
"No," said Travis."We want you to have the song you want. Let me see if the next level of tech support can make this happen.But they won't be able to call you until tomorrow."

I was fine with that and quite frankly, I was beginning to think maybe I wanted to go back to Frank Sinatra anyway, but I didn't have the heart to say that out loud to any tech person.So, the next day, Brian from AT&T called me and he tried to trouble shoot for ringtone problems.Now, Brian got further than anyone else. He was actually able to download a song to my phone.Okay, so it wasn't Etta or Frank. Instead, he picked his personal favorite: Need you Now by Lady Antebellum. Not a bad tune except that the only words that one can hear in the ringtone are "It's a quarter to one, I'm drunk and I need you now."

I think ringtones say a lot about the person who owns a phone. So, I have gone from a person who loves classic jazz and big band era songs to a person who is a horny alcoholic with insomnia because that is what the words in the song say! Brian said, the song sounded like me. Excuse me Brian, what the hell does that mean?

I have now accepted this new song as my ringtone because I am having trouble getting the generic tone back. T&T thinks I may need to go get a new phone.I think that is a good idea but I cannot get to a store until next week, so for a few more days, I will be the horny alcoholic.

Well, I have learned many things this week about technology. I have learned that while new technology and its applications are fun and exciting, trouble never looms too far away, and more importantly, I learned that technology is still no match for an old voodoo priestess living down in the bayou.

In case anyone is thinking that I just make this stuff up, think again. This is the second time I posted this essay on Booksie.Perhaps, my voodoo priestess was responsible for all the problems Booksie had recently. It that is the case, I apologize to all.




4

| Email this story Email this Essay | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.