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Rage Against the Machine

Essay By: Steven Hunley
Humor



Cellphones in American life


Submitted:Oct 31, 2009    Reads: 99    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Rage Against the Machine
by
Steven Hunley
T.V. used to sell a machine called the multi-tool. It was a saw, a drill-press, a sander, a lathe. It did the work of six ordinary machines. Only problem was, it did none of them well. So it's gone. It's history. But we've got something to take its place. We got the cell-phone.
Of course they're not just phones. They're cameras, calculators, stereos, and computers. They do none of them well. When friends show me their latest -greatest cell-phone I have to just gush,
"Oh, how cool! A cell-phone and a calculator! Oh, and it's a camera too, and a computer. How nice for you." That usually takes care of it. But unfortunately there's more.
"Wow, so it texts too?" (why anybody wants to text anyone else is beyond me. The keys are much too small) So I say,
"I love the pictures, got anymore?" (you have to be at just the right angle to see it, and the screen is the size of a postage stamp) Then I follow with,
"Oh, and it plays music too!?" (it sounds tinny at best, since the speaker's the size of a fingernail) But I say,
"I really dig the base. Bump it Baby, bump it!" Then it rings one of those God-awful-stupid custom rings and I have to say,
"Oh, a call for me?" (I can't quite make out what they're saying. They can't quite hear me. But that's O.K. since the call was dropped anyway)
So, cell-phone users, take some advice. Get over yourself.




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