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Safety Pins Are Not Safe

By: Barf Belch

Page 1, My comedy piece on safety pins. :)

I hate safety pins. 

I always get them mixed up with completely different but holdy-together type things…

“Hey, does anyone have a paper clip—no, a bobby pin—I mean, a tesla coil—a SAFETY PIN that I can borrow?”

Safety pins aren’t very safe at all.  They’re like, teeny tiny weapons, really. 

"Oh, you wanna hold together the seam of this dress while you make adjustments, eh?  I DON'T THINK SO."


"Owie!  Oh, GAWD, I'm bleeding!  WAAAAAAAAAA!"

At the hospital, the nurse is like, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Yeah, so, I wasn't wearing my glasses while making adjustments to a friend's dress, so I leaned in really close to see...and, well, you can probably guess the rest, as this bobby pin--I mean, paper clip--telsa co--SAFETY PIN is sticking out of my face."

"On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, what is your pain level?"

"Are you serious? Just pull it out, dude!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to sit in the waiting room.  The doctor will be right in."

"Oh what the *bleep*!"


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