scene--A lower middle class English couple are lying in bed. The husband is reading the Sunday supplement or whatever the English read when they are lying in bed. Their feet are sticking out at the end of the covers.
Note to reader: Add cockney according to taste.
Wife: I think I may part with my foot after all.
Husband: It looks fine to me dear.
Wife: It looks bigger than the other one.
Husband: That one's not bigger, it's the other one that's too small.
Wife: I like small feet. Me Mum had small feet.
Husband: Your Mum was always putting them in her mouth.
Wife: She never said anything that she was sorry for later. You just didn't know her like I did.
Husband: Alright, I didn't mean to say anything against your mother. I didn't mean to insult anyone. Your mother had beautiful feet.
Wife: That's better.
Husband: It's just that her mouth was too big. (she hits him with her pillow)