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Miscellaneous By: brucek
Humor



We always seem to have an interesting book in the bathroom, just in case someone's pit stop turns into an extended stay. The current book is called "Daily Dose of Knowledge, Brilliant Thoughts", and I wondered what would happen if I opened it at random and started getting silly. The following quotes are from pages 126 and 127.


Submitted:Oct 31, 2011    Reads: 49    Comments: 15    Likes: 5   


"Don't ever slam the door; you might want to go back." Don Herold

You might also lock yourself out, so make sure you're wearing some sensible footwear.

"What is man in nature? A nothing compared to the infinite, and everything compared to nothing, a midpoint between nothing and everything." Blaise Pascal

Yeah? Then what about something and anything? And the wild thing, which is half way between my back yard and the Post Office? Of course, on Sundays the Post Office is closed, so the wild thing just hangs out on the corner with anybody and somebody.

"Where thou art--that is Home." Emily Dickinson

So make sure you're wearing some sensible footwear. Oh, and don't forget your toothbrush.

"Television is chewing gum for the eyes." John Mason Brown

For God's sake, don't plug it in until you're done chewing................with your eyes. You might also want to try whistling a tune with your ears. I haven't had much luck with that, but it might work for you.

"A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables." Gertrude Stein

Well? What did you expect? Pineapples? Go lay down, Gertrude, and let me know when you feel better.

"Genius all over the world stands hand in hand, and one shock of recognition runs the whole circle round." Herman Melville

Kind of reminds me of Facebook. Or an infectious disease. Oh God, I better go wash my hands again!

"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." Henry David Thoreau

So if you do have to wear new clothes, make sure you're wearing some sensible footwear. And a hat. And take your umbrella, just in case.

"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth." Friedrich von Schiller

There's plenty of time to cringe in abject horror later on.

"His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon the living and the dead." James Joyce

Right up until the point that he heard school was canceled, then he quit swooning, and ran outside for a snowball fight. He wasn't sure how to swoon properly anyway.

"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." Jean-Paul Sartre

He swooned in disappointment. Oh how he loved to swoon! Or maybe that was "spoon", I really don't remember.

"History is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes." Voltaire

That's because no one was wearing their sensible footwear!

"There is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for." Paulo Coelho

Personally, I prefer to avoid the suffering part if I can. In fact, most people agree that suffering is really not much fun at all. Well, most people agree. There are people at certain bars that are into that, but usually they're not the type that you'd want to take home to meet your Aunt Ethyl.





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