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john smith hitormiss memorial hospital (old notebooks)

Miscellaneous By: brucek
Humor



the alarming things overheard in the plastic surgery ward


Submitted:Jun 2, 2011    Reads: 49    Comments: 5    Likes: 3   


SCENE: (A man is lying in bed talking to a TV newsman. His face is wrapped in bandages.)

MAN: I spent five weeks at the John Smith Hitormiss Memorial Hospital. See these? They kept saying they were only temporary, but it's been three months and they still can't get them off! All I wanted was a nose job! Yesterday one of the doctors said that I should try to get used to them!

INTERVIEWER: (irritably) I know, I know, that's terrible, but you were going to tell us about some of the other things that went on there?

MAN: Yeah, yeah......anyways, all the time that I was in the plastic surgery ward all I could do was, like, lay there and listen, you know?

(Fade to actor recreations of events in plastic surgery ward.)

" ........and next time, nurse, take your jewelry off before we operate."

"Sorry Doctor. I'll schedule her for surgery immediately."

"I already have. You can recover your bracelet tomorrow morning, but you'll have to leave your watch where it is......" (fade out)

(fade in) ".........which one is his mouth? It's time for his supper......." (fade out)

(fade in) "........now before I give you this mirror, let me ask you a question. When you were a boy, did you ever dream about running away and becoming a clown with the circus? (fade out)

(fade in) ".......I told you once already, 11:30 isn't any good! If i'm going to operate I'm going to need those martinis. How about 12:30? I should still be able to hold a scalpel by then.......(fade to black)





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