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miscellaneous letters (old notebooks)

Miscellaneous By: brucek
Humor



random wacky letters. (i love writing letters)


Submitted:May 15, 2011    Reads: 47    Comments: 3    Likes: 0   


Dear Pen Pal,

Why haven't you written? Everything here on the farm is fine. The cattle are in the field. Marybob and Jamielou are fine. They are also in the field. In fact, the whole fucking farm is in the field. I feel so alone. Why haven't you written?

Love,

Bobbyjoe

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Dear Amy,

When my husband and I got married, he convinced me that we should not try to have children until we could handle it financially. Six years later we both had solid, good paying jobs and I talked to him again about my desire to have a child. He told me that he wanted to go back to school to get his masters degree and so we decided to wait. It's been a year since he finished school. When I brought up the idea of starting a family he tells me he's planning to have a sex change operation and run away with his barber. Should I wait a couple of years and ask him again?

Wavering

Dear Wavering,

Leave him and ask your hairdresser out.

Amy

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Dear Flabby,

Are there people in the world who still doubt the healthful benefits of chocolate mousse? I find the idea a little hard to swallow (ha ha). Write me when you can.

Lovingly,

Chubs

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Dear Gladys,

I would like to complain strongly about the contents of this letter. I think people who complain in letters are the lowest scum on the face of the earth! I think they should be taken outside and shot. If they're already outside, I think they should be brought in again in a very embarrasing manner.

Yours grudgingly,

Old Boring Bitch





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