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Funny Atheist Quotes/ Bumper Stickers

Miscellaneous By: City Of Evil

Need I say more? lol, All I ask is that no offense be taken if you are in fact religious in any way shape or form. I have nothing against religion, but i do find a lot of atheist quotes humorous and since im an atheist myself, I know that will be a door for shit talkers to shit talk lol Enjoy! if u have any more please do not refrain from telling me because i will probably add them up there. And last but not least, I have made up none of these, they're all from other websites so i do not claim to own them... just to laugh my ass off at them :)

Submitted:Jul 2, 2010    Reads: 61,265    Comments: 51    Likes: 12   

*An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. - John Buchan

*If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. -Woody Allen


"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands"

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

The Christian god makes man human, then burns him when he acts like one

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

Praying is like a rocking chair-- it'll give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.

Everything is more or less organized matter. To think so is against religion, but I think so just the same. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."

"I'm a polyatheist - there are many gods I don't believe in"

"If atheism is a religion, then bald is a hair color"

"Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined, and imprisoned, yet we have not advanced one inch toward uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half of the world fools and the other half hypocrites."

"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."

To become a religion it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosophy.

Man is quite insane. He wouldn't know how to create a maggot and he creates Gods by the dozen"

The Christian lives in a nightmare and thinks it is a pleasant dream.

The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.


Faith: not wanting to know what is true.

It is of course always best to be led by god,
and have him personally whisper into your ear.
Only, when it is the devil talking he will tell you he is god,for the devil is a crafty liar. So you never know who is talking to you.


The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the gospels in praise of intelligence.

Consider the ignorance of the average fundamentalist. Then realize that by definition fully half of them must be even dumber than that.

If god doesn't like me, let him tell me that not you.


Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life. (this one is personally my favorite :))

One of the earliest Christian heresies, which was quickly knocked on the head (sic) by the church hierarchy, was called Gnosticism, whose adherents claimed to "know" the truth about God by direct revelation.

Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money


I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

The most heinous and the must cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives.


science flies us into space, religion flies us into buildings.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
Mark Twain

"In God We Trust." I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.


The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason: The Morning Daylight appears plainer when you put out your Candle.

Lighthouses are more helpful then churches.

If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor.

Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities.

Black holes would seem to suggest that God not only plays dice, but also sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen.
Stephen Hawking, NATURE, 1975

What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
Christopher Hitchens

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.
Karl Marx


The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw (again, another favorite of mine lol)

Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions.
Blaise Pascal Quote

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
Richard Jeni Quote

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg Quote


The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
Delos B. McKown Quote

Where knowledge ends, religion begins.
Benjamin Disraeli Quote

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.


Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions.

I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse


The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

I refuse to believe in a god that would send me to hell just for not believing in him.

Doesn't it bother you that you put more logical thought into choosing a car than you do in choosing a god?


So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o, and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.




I will be adding more i just dont have enough time to at the moment, This was all in good fun so if ur offended dont get all pissy cause you know these are pretty damn funny!:) I would also love to re-state that i dont have anything against any religion out there, these are just to fun to pass up, especially the bumper stickers =)


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