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Cat People- An Original Monologue

By: Kristi D

Page 1, An original monologue about cats! Enjoy!


Oh, hi. Didn’t see you there… I guess you could say I’m a bit of a cat person. And I’d like to start us off with a question, if that’s alright- How many cats….is too many cats. I personally think that the line should be drawn anywhere from 13-47, depending on the breed of course. The truth is, cats are much better than men- and you can never really have too many. Plus, cats always come in SOBER after being out all night…A cat doesn’t care what size bra you wear….and you can put a bell around a cat’s neck so you know exactly where she is at all times. It’s not so easy with men. They come in at midnight, smashing into your furniture, and expect you not to be mad in the morning……Cats can be neutered if they stray. You’ll never get a call from your cat’s ex-wife, and your cat doesn’t ask you to spend time with her awful mother. Cats will rub up on your leg no matter how much cellulite you have, and it’s ok if they bring in a different “bird” every night.  So in a way, I’m glad I have my cats….All 56 of them.

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