'Bye-Bye Slug Killer'
"How many times has this happened to you? You're walking along on a summer's day, when suddenly your bare foot steps on something extremely unpleasant. It's a fricking slug! You look down at the slime that won't come off very easy, and you get pissed! All you wanted was to enjoy a nice summer's day without shoes, but just look what that bastard slug did to your foot! Oh, you wish there was a way you could warn other slugs they should stay as far away from the bottom of your foot as possible; but there isn't, right? Wrong! Introducing Bye-Bye Slug Killer, the best way of getting rid of slugs, permanently! See, other slug removers, in the form of slug bait, only remove slugs from a limited area, whether it be lawn or garden, but Bye-Bye Slug Killer let's you set an example to all the other slugs, who might be thinking of doing something to annoy you, by knowing the consequences if they do. Simply find the offending slug, or any slug, hang our special 'slug-noose' from any place up high, slip their tiny little head through the noose, put the slug on our 'slug step-ladder', and then kick the 'slug step-ladder' out from under the slug. When the other slugs see one of their own wiggling in its death-throws, and struggling for air which is never going to come, those slimy bastards will stay as far away from you, and your foot, as possible! So the next time you get upset with a slug, don't just pour salt on his or her (it's impossible to tell; in fact, is there even such a thing as a sex difference between the slimy bastards?), buy Bye-Bye Slug Killer, and make the painful death of one slug serve as an example for all the other slugs!"