"R& M Brand
Celebrity Rock Heads of the Month"
"From the company that brought you the program, "Guess Which Celebrity's in Rehab Today?", as well as other educational shows, comes a brand new product, unlike anything you've ever seen before, Celebrity Rock Heads of the Month. These garden rocks resemble people; famous people whose lives are much better than the pathetic life you're leading! We've asked celebrities to bring us rocks they've dug up that resemble one of their fellow celebrities, or they've used their own hands to dig out of the ground. There are thousands of uses for these Celebrity Rock Heads. A paperweight, a door-stop, and the list goes on and on! And now, through this exclusive cable-access-only television advertisement, we'll send you 1 new Celebrity Rock Head each month. Cancel at any time! If you're not absolutely thrilled with our Celebrity Rock Heads, and don't agree that these rocks look remarkably true-to-life and are likely to amaze your drinking friends, simply send us your dissatisfaction on a legal-sized document notarized by a recognized representative of the legal profession, and we'll change our company name and move out of state! No; we'll eventually refund most of your money. For a low, low price of only $49.95 a month, we'll send you either a rock that resembles a celebrity, or, a rock personally dug up by a celebrity! Order now, operators are standing by (and boy, are their legs getting tired!) Simply call 1-800-GraniteFun today.
A Product of the R&M Brand Manufacturing Corporation; A division of The Scam-Kings Group, Penal Branch