"Do it Yourself Cattle Stunner"

“Do-It Yourself Cattle Stunner”

“Are you in the mood for a huge, juicy steak? Or how about a tasty rack of beef ribs? Or maybe a big

hamburger, but you’re sick and tired of having to run the store? All you want is some beef. Who

needs to be called a murderer by some vegetarian? What a hassle! What if we told you could stun

and butcher a cow at your own house? That’s right; now you can, with the new Do-It Yourself Cattle

Stunner, from the Red Dwarf Corporation, formerly the Skull-Blow Corporation. You may be asking

yourself, 'And just who the hell are they?' We’re the same company who introduced Pizza-In-A-Cup to

the masses. So, you see, we know food products. Simply buy a cow, raise it for years, almost as a

cherished family pet, and then bash in its skull and butcher it! Your freezer will be stuffed with meat of

all kinds of cuts of meat, and you and your family, or live-in will be chowing down on tasty beef, very

soon!”