'Dude!'- Perfume for Men'
"Hello, BILLY HAYS here, back from the great beyond, here to tell you about an amazing new fragrance for men called 'Dude!' How many times have you gone out after spraying on regular men's cologne, and got no response, other than disgust, when you tried to start up a conversation with a pretty girl (or guy)? Well, it may be because you smell like s**t! Introducing the new perfume for men; that's right, I said PERFUME! It's the first perfume to target men; that's why they've combined the scent of a men's locker room after a grueling rugby match, and wildflowers from an alpine meadow; it's guarantied to drive them crazy! But wait! If you order within the next 20 seconds, they'll also send you this handsome holiday meat wreath, absolutely free! That's a $500 dollar value, free! Just imagine, your family is gathered around the Christmas tree, and you've just finished opening gifts.
"Who's ready to eat dinner?" and you simply grab the meat wreath off the wall next to the tree, throw it into the middle of the living room, and let your guests fight for the cut they want, almost like a pack of starving hyena's surrounding a pack of crippled antelope! You won't have to cook, and you can sit there and hoover more punch. So, purchase, 'Dude!', and get the holiday meat wreath, free!