'Genital Saw Mills'
“There’s a new bad-a** Cereal Company on you grocer’s shelves, yes, the grocer who’s staggering drunk, and who leers at you, mommy, and makes you uncomfortable, although we can see why--err--but that’s besides the point. We’re Genital Saw Mills, and we make some fine tasty cereals! We know that you gag and retch when forced to eat regular cereals; that’s why we’re irregular! Don’t have time in the morning for an hearty egg breakfast? Well, we’ve added gum extract so the scrambled eggs stick together, and attached them to a stick! “Eggs on a Stick’ lets you scarf an egg-like poultry product, while you drive! Love waffles but don’t have electricity because your power’s been turned off? Eat a few big bowls of ‘Spoon-Size Shredded Waffles’; sure it’s cold, but mmm,mmm, that delicious waffle taste! At Genital Saw Mills, we’ll be introducing many inanimate--err--innovative products that will save you time and money, in the near-future. You can tell it’s a Genital Saw Mill’s product, because our unique breakfast products come in a bright pink box. So look for the bright pink box, that just seems to scream, “eat me!”