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Hades Patrol-advertisement

By: Mike Stevens

Page 1, Fake advertisement for a new heavy metal band

“Hey, all you disaffected teens and unhappy, depressed kids, a band you’re going to love, and the only one that’s singing your song, is now available by the hour, or by the day, to rent. Wow, it’s like being able to have 5 girls at once. Justine Snappy, Hazel Flavor, Sally Timer, April May, and Molly Jazz, what to show you everything they’ve got. These girls are bummed, angry, and beautiful! Just like you, they feel like lepers to society. If you’ve got a social disease, and that disease is being a freak-a** outcast, forget conforming to society. These 5 ladies motto is, “Conform; like hell!” So, listen to the new wave of satanic music, Hades Patrol! *Now available for weddings, funerals, graduations, bar mitzvah’s, and just about any social gathering. Please call 555-Evil

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