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"Symphonic Warning"-advertisement

Miscellaneous By: Mike Stevens
Humor


As a fan of heavy metal music, I got to thinking, "What would you get if you crossed people's preconceived image of heavy metal, with classical music?" below you'll find what might happen, at least my version!


Submitted:Jul 7, 2011    Reads: 31    Comments: 3    Likes: 0   


Symphonic Warning

Strings of Fire

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A Night of Burning

Verse:

Use asbestos gloves to play this deal

Yeah, this thing is white-hot; the danger is real

Most people think of classical music as benign

But not this music, this is the burning kind

Pre-Chorus:

Bring your welding goggles to view this show

Bring you ear plugs too, now you've been told

Verse:

It's a raging inferno, it's a sheet of flame

If you're listening to this to relax, you'll never be the same

For it's aggression in a tuxedo and tails

On your body it is pounding, on your head it wails

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Chorus:

See it shoot a wall of fire, over your head

It needs no words to say what should be said

So get ready for A Night of Burning

Demons in their grave, over are turning

Verse:

It's very heavy music disguised as light

It'll suck the blood out of your body; you'll turn white

You'll hear the flute substituted for electric guitar,

but it still will hammer you, no matter how near, or how far

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

END

Soothing hammer

Verse:

Down goes the conductor's hands

And you're off to Heavy Music Land

Oh sure, it's not heavy in traditional ways,

but it's more subliminal; that's the way it plays

Pre-Chorus:

While you hear relaxing, it slams into your brain

While you feel quiet calm, it's working to drive you insane

Verse:

Hear the violins; oh, so relaxing

Lulls you to sleep as your pain is maxing

Hear the cello as your world flies apart

Feel the mellow even as a dagger pierces your heart

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Chorus:

Fall asleep as The Soothing Hammer it rings

Hear all the joy and misery it brings

Yes, it's a symphonic warning telling you to flee

If you know what's good for you, you'll listen to me

Verse:

It tricks you into thinking there's peace on Earth,

even as the human waste that is your world's getting worse

It may be naive to listen to our s***,

but at least you are happy, when the dirt you've bit

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

END

Blood Under the Sycamore Tree

Verse:

You're having a quiet picnic under a cloudless sky

Little do you know that you're about to die

As the relaxing tones of classical music fills the air,

You're living through a heavy metal nightmare

Pre-Chorus:

See the Beast as he smashes your head

As the classical song reaches the end, you're dead

Verse:

It's should be so tranquil, but instead you scream

It's music torches your face with it's boiling-hot steam

See the peaceful glen, hear the birds sing

Then, see the blood spout, hear the screams ring

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Chorus:

Yes, see the Blood Under the Sycamore Trees

It's dripping from the dead branches, you watch in total disbelief

You expected only a quiet meal,

not this totally nightmarish deal

Verse:

As you're soaking up the last of the sun's rays

The tree your sitting under comes to life and says:

"I'm a talking tree, and your a** is mine

I'll make this picnic the killing kind!"

Repeat Pre-Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

END





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