"The Forgotten Stuff Book"
"Now you can remember stuff you wished you could just forget--err-- everything forgotten by people over the years; "The Forgotten Stuff" book. This handsome book is way overpriced--err--essential for anal-reten--err--inquisitive people who don't give a crap about--err--want to know, and remember. We've included a few 'forgotten' dealos to suck you in--err--let people know the many useless--err--important fact you can do without--err--just have to remember! Here are just a few of the Forgotten things. "
"Forgotten U.S. PresidentialCandidates"
Many men and women made unsuccessful campaigns for president. Some, we all remember. Some of the almost-forgotten and obscure people include:
Larry (Red) Face: Ran for president in 1972, candidate of 'The Groin Party': Lost bid to become president when it was revealed he had ordered the bugging of "Wanda's House of Free Democracy and Love" to get something on Wanda, so she wouldn't reveal his secret of wearing women's panties under his pants
Craig B. Crimson: Ran for president in 1956, as 'The Red-Pacification Party' nominee: Lost bid to become president, when he advocated selling the U.S. down the crapper to the Soviet Union
Samuel F. Chickens: Ran for president in 1854, as 'The Party Party' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president when he got rip-roaring drunk at his party's convention and hit on Senator Hal Phobia
Jim Puffer: Ran for president in 1980, as 'The Hemp Party' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president when he got high and ate all the food prepared for his campaign party before anyone could arrive
Robert Hick: Ran for president in 1846, as 'The Ludicrous Party's' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president when he gave a rambling, incoherent speech which had something to do with his plate of nachos telling him to succeed the U.S. from the world
Jenna Hose: Ran for president in 1968, as the 'Page 68 Party's' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president when press uncovered nude photographs of her taken when she needed money and posed nude for "Lustylator Magazine"
Carl Gourde: Ran for president in 1940 as 'The Paranoid Party's' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president, when, during a magazine interview, he revealed his belief that the planet Earth was almost certain to be taken over by aliens from outer space and humans made their slaves
Wellington B. Case: Ran for president in 1928, as 'The Half-Baked Party's' nominee for president: Lost bid to become president when it was revealed he would make critical policy decisions based on the movements of his pet ferret