Again today Im sad. my children are gone Im alone and sad. I planted one lone flower seed like me alone small sick. now things seem gray and sky blue sometimes I can see green green grass and people walk by.Often I wonder what did I do to deserve this life of wet smelly degradation. There is a smell of rainflowing in my open window perhaps today I will see a rain bow perhaps I wont cry all day. wow its black night blood filled sky time so beatiful sad and smells of nasty slime rotten garbage and dead once desire filled life.. Im watching a large red transparent bat flying outlined against the blackness 0verThe flowers we planted together . They are withered ,limp dead cold... reaching up I feal a boxed in wall my hands-arms cant stretch out. where am I? something holds my eyelids down. Something cold wet heavy with a deep dirty smell. why cant I breathe? although for now darkness wetness ,smelly dirt , withered flowers roots seem to be sweet lucious ,pleasurable..... the dank cold dirt is sweet asI lick it ,. I became dirt and wetness ,dried roots and stanky worms.The sky was blue orange and yellow but now all I can see now is green soft sweet puke filled slime. What now the breeze blows firmly my dry burning lips chap and bleed as I walk the fifty miles to my doggie cottage in the deep snow. as the shadow of the red purple slug with yellow puss filed holes and green horns sit in my bedroom chair. As I enter my home it calls to me. why must every day I slide into this beaten scarie average world. The phone rings. your white slime cylinder filthy mole is here the caller replies. Another slimey nasty smelly filthy dead male ratback hole arrives dressed in leather thongs hairy and smelling of rotten meat singing I love you. The space is gone now no air all dead smells. the beaten girl thing rises from her painful, slime filled body again to watch and not watch to float above see and not see the branding and mind death of her small unfulfilled terror ridden life.