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Shitty Adventures of Douche Dude (The SADD Saga)

Novel By: Andre Molina

The SADD Saga begins... View table of contents...


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Submitted:Sep 10, 2010    Reads: 23    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

Created by Justine Challis & Andre A. Molina
Story by Andre A. Molina& Justine Challis
Written by Andre A. Molina

There once was a guy named Dipshit Jelly who worked at a Peanut-butter factory. He was a clumsy fellow. So clumsy that one day he had a little accident with one of the machines. His head was turned into a giant nut, his body was peanut-butter (what a dumbass). He became angry, evil, and mean (because thats what happens to everyone who becomes a monster; dunn dunn dunnnn..). With his peanut sized brain cells, he constructed a machine to turn all the workers into walking, talking, and rounded nuts (no!!! nuts are square!!!). But they were so dumb that for no reason at all they fell to the floor and cracked themselves open.
"My nuts keep breaking!" yelled Dipshit
He finally made them stop & listen to him.
"My nuts," said the deformed man, "I am your leader. Call me lord.....peanutbutter!"
A very eerie silence fell upon the nuts. These nuts had never heard something so funny. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" they cried,"what kinda name is that?"
"Lord Dipshit peanutbutter?" said a tiny nut, "you're nuts!"
"No! You're nuts, not me!" roared Dipshit, "Now obey me my nuts!" and so began the invasion of the world............. meanwhile at the white house (every dramatic story has a white house) republicans were making decisions (btw, this is a fictional story) on what to do with their nuts. When asked the president said " aint no one touchin' my nuts!" (pointin' at a jar of nuts).
back to the drama..
Lord Dipshit Peanutbutter was gathering more nuts from schools (they just put their nuts in his hand). Suddenly, Douche Dude came crashing down on Lord Peanutbutter and his nuts.
"I will defeat Lord Peanutbutter!" yelled Douche Dude, "But 1st I'm gonna kick your butts, nuts!" (what?)
"What?" said the lord peanutbutter.
His nuts were confused too.
"I'm gonna kick your nuts' butts!" declared our heroe. And with that said, he broke every nut he saw.
"You're good, but I'm Butter!" yelled lord Dipshit peanutbutter, "Its pointless, You're nuts are mine!!!"
"You gotta be nuts if you think you're touching my nuts!"
A silent fart, followed by a fierce battle occured. But in minutes, Douche Dude had defeated Dipshit Peanutbutter
Thanks Douche Dude, We have our nuts back!


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