Some say it’s all shits and giggles until someone gets hurt but other says its all giggles and shits until someone shits themselves.
But it’s a different story for Lucinda – Luce – Wyatts. She goes by both and doesn’t take life seriously. She doesn’t think that life should be taken seriously since you only live it once and the word YOLO never comes to mind for her even though friends of Lucinda’s say that’s how she lives life. But then add in Rory Fisher into Lucinda’s crazy life. He is one to believe Lucinda’s way of life and he really couldn’t care what people have to say about him – same as Lucinda. So, why is Rory added into this crazy Lucinda life? Well he challenges her to everything and anything. And Lucinda being Lucinda never turns down a challenge. Can life get any crazier for them both? Why, yes it does. It’s always shits and giggles until someone gets hurt. And it’s always giggles and shits until someone shits themselves.
CRAIG AND REBECCA WYATTS
LEIGH JASPER & RONNY BOWS
RIDE THE PONY
The one thing in life that is the hardest to do is getting up in the god damn morning. But what’s even harder than that? Telling your mum to let you sleep in. Seriously, out of all the shit I do, my Mum is the hardest person to tell off.
“I swear to god Lucinda. Get out of bed or else?” Mum threatened.
So, my mum is a little crazy well maybe a whole lot crazy and in all honesty, I think I get my craziness from the she-devil herself.
“What are you guna do?” I mumbled hugging up to my body pillow or as I called it Fredrick my pillow boyfriend and my one true love.
“Don’t test me, Lucinda. Five minutes and if you aren’t downstairs look out.”
“You know there is this place called Child Safety.” I smirked.
My mum is one to not take no for answer. Like this one time, she asked me to make her a coffee and I told her no. The next thing I know she is pouring the jar of coffee all over my head and it somehow left brown streaks in my blonde hair when I went for a shower to get the shit out of my hair. It was a what the fuck moment at first but then it all changed into a fit of giggles and mum was forgiven.
So, ladies and gentlemen. Never, I repeat, never tell my mother say no to making my mother a coffee, unless you really want to have coffee over you.
“RIGHT!” I heard mum come barrelling into the room. Oh shit.
“Five minutes is up, get up.” Mum said and ripped my blanket away.
I threw my body around like Jim Carrey did in Bruce Almighty. How dare she rip my blanket away at this hour of the fucking morning! I looked at my mother and she smirked. That damn smirk, I swear I get mine from her.
“Who do you think you are?” I asked.
“I am Rebecca Wyatts, mother of Lucinda Wyatts and loving wife to Craig Wyatts.”
So that’s where I get my smartass attuide from.
I put my hands out in front of me and started moving my fingers like a baby does when it wants something or someone. I pouted my lips and gave my best puppy dog eyes in hope of getting my fucking blanket back.
“BLANKIE!” I wailed.
“Oh no, my name isn’t Dad.” Mum said and walked away with my blankie.
“Whatever happens next is all on you Mummy Dearest.” I said before jumping out of my bed and chasing after my mum down the hallway.
We made it to the kitchen when I jumped on her back. My dad was laughing at us as I screamed at my mum to give me back my blankie. It took me and Mum a moment to realize we had company. I felt my cheeks heat up when my eyes laid on a guy about my age.
He had the fittest body, baby blue eyes that had humour in them, brown hair that sat messy but neatly on his head, he had tattoos down his left and right arm and he looked tall, probably about six foot. Mind you I only stand at like five foot three so compared to him I’m a fucking midget. Fucking great.
I slowly slid off Mum’s back as we stood smiling like fools at our guests. I looked down to see that I was in a pair of boy legs and a tank top. I quickly snatched back my blanket from Mum.
“Hi there, I’m Rebecca or Bec. And this is my daughter, Lucinda.” Mum said.
“Yous can call me Luce.” I said.
Shit. Fuck. Balls. Donkey.
“Nice to meet you both,” The older man that looked like the dude who was a little older than me, “I’m Joseph, this is my wife Melinda and this is my son Rory.”
I didn’t know what to do. Did I stand here like a dick and just look at the floor or do I go upstairs, shower and come back down looking like a sexy beast that I am? Clearly, I went with the second option.
Okay, so it sounds like I have tickets on myself but I don’t. Seriously, I don’t. I just like to think that I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! Rory would have the best impressions of me. A pair of jocks and a singlet does that to guys who just think with their dicks but you know, I don’t mind.
I grabbed a quick shower and got dressed. I pulled my hair up into a bun before coming back downstairs. This shalt not be awkward. I sat down on the couch next to Mum. Mum elbowed me in the ribs and I looked at her as she wiggled her eyebrows and looked at Rory quickly. I rolled my eyes at her.
My Mum, the match maker!
“So Lucinda, are you in school?” Joseph asked.
“That hell hole, yeah.” I smiled.
“Lucinda!” Dad snapped.
“Aw, sorry dad.” I said and sat back.
“How about you go show Rory around?” Dad said.
“Yeah, sure.” I said and got up and looked at Rory, “You coming?”
He nodded and got up. We walked down the hall and I told him what rooms were where, not much to see in our four bedroom him. I don’t even know why we live in a four bedroom home since there is only three of us. The other two rooms are guest rooms.
“So, Rory. Tell me about yourself.” I said as we walked outside.
“Not much to say really, I’m eighteen, a hot stud and shit.” Rory said casually, “What about you?”
“Almost eighteen, single and don’t take life seriously.” I replied and kept walking.
Why I told him I was single? I have no fucking idea. But hey, if it got me a step in why the fuck not right?
We got outside and walked around the yard. We got to the end of the yard and I saw the neighbour’s pony standing at the gate. I’ve ridden it before but I don’t think it liked me on it since it booted me off. Haven’t been on the bastard since.
Rory looked at the horse then looked at me, “Is it rideable?”
“Yeah, why?” I said.
Before I knew it Rory was over the fence and on the horse. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just laughed at the fool riding this pony as it bucked to get him off but he managed to stay on. He cheered and yahooed as the poor pony went spastic.
Rory got off the horse and ran over to me as the pony chased him. I laughed even harder at this kid. I could tell we were going to get on just fine if they were going to be regulars to the Wyatts’ house hold.
Another novel? Don’t mind if I do. I hoped you liked this and got a laugh out of it. This story is just for fun really and it’s going to be my story that gets my writer’s block away when I get it. Don’t count of regular updates of this story since it will be updated randomly. Anyways, it’s kind of fast paced in away but it’s not, if y’all get what I’m saying. So, comment, like or drool over the person I have put as Rory!
CapnPanda is out!
*WALKS OUT WITH SWAGGIE and FIST PUMPING*
BEING A GIRL WILL BE UPDATED WITHIN 24-48HOURS