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Lunch Table Crew

Novel By: noelburgundy27
Humor



"Lunch Table Crew" is a series of shorts that focuses on a simple character and his colorful plethora of friends and their daily mishaps.

To elaborate the definition of colorful, I want you to imagine having a Mafia godfather as a guardian, a promiscuous best friend, two rival dance crews, a cup of tea, and furry animals. View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Submitted:Apr 20, 2012    Reads: 37    Comments: 3    Likes: 2   


Lunch Table Crew

001: Refinement

The refined Noel was enjoying his lunch for the day. Every day, he is given a homemade lunch made by his unusually handsome godfather, Chris. When he checked it, he wasn't that surprised to find a bento. "How like him to arrange a Japanese lunch for me," he remarked. "I bet he'd make Italian tomorrow."

"Yo Noel!" The athletic blond stud of the school came over and sat next to him. "Watcha got for lunch today?"

"Japanese lunch." Noel opened the box and found it to be chicken oyakudon. "Ooh, chicken oyakudon." He quickly sensed a disturbance and quickly slapped away the jock's fork. "Let me mix around the food first for roughly equal distribution, you second-grade oaf!"

"Hey, don't be so cold!" he said with a pout, trapping Noel in a hug. "You'll hurt my feelings."

"Let go of me, you blundering bloke! Honestly, you really are Chris's son! And would you god damn wear sleeves? Your sweat is damping my clothes!"

"Then I'll smother you wi-Gufagh!" Noel forced him to let go with a blow to his face, utilizing the back of his head, giving pain to the both of them. "Ow! You could've asked nicely."

"You wouldn't listen, stronzo. Honestly…" Noel went on to tossing the rice and chicken and all the other ingredients in the packed section of the box. "There. Now you can mooch."

"You're pretty touchy."

"You're the touchy-feely one here."

A woman soon joined the androgyny and the beast, keeping a ponytail up. "Bodie, Noel, you two at it again?"

"It's his fault…" Noel groaned, welcoming her. "Here, have a seat."

"Thank you! So have you two decided on what to do for the homework for Art? You two were assigned together, right?"

"We haven't."

"What theme did that fag give you two?"

Noel had a begrudging face that just exuded gloom and horror. "…Sexuality."

Bodie remained calm and turned to Jenna. "Don't mind him. He's having trouble because he's a virgin."

"I suppose on a practical aspect, I am."

"Practical?" the two wondered, confused.

"Chris fed me too much information when I was a kid. As a man who gathers information, he has far too many reference material downstairs in our basement. So it's not that I don't know, but rather I know too much."

Jenna and Bodie were, naturally, shocked. Such an innocent soul knowing all that forbidden knowledge; it can't be true. "Really? P-Prove it!" Jenna challenged.

"Fellatio is the act of sucking &%#@. Different formations of sex and foreplay include doggy-style, missionary, rabbit style, and crouching-tiger-standing-dragon. The foreplay '69' applies for all types of couples, straight, gay, and lesbian. There is a spot between the man's legs that help excite the penis if rubbed or applied with pressure. Smutty manga and cartoons needed actual models, depending on the artist's imagination. Rapidly hitting the G-Spot requires a very long penis and very accurate thrusti-"

"O-okay!" Bodie quickly covered Noel's mouth with his hand and held him close. "Wow, you do know a lot."

Noel quickly pulled away and lightly punched his arm. "You're too brash."

"And you're too reserved. C'mon, loosen up! Don't be a pussy. …On second thought, be my pussy so I can rape you every-"

"Don't make me punch you in the throat!"

Jenna enjoyed their amusing chaos with her cafeteria-bought lunch. Somehow, watching the two banter was like watching a comedy series. Bodie was an abusive, teasing punk and Noel was always the victim of his attention. They were like brothers in a frienemy relationship. "You two seem really close. Noel, you just transferred here, and yet you can get along with the most popular jock in school like this."

"Heh, it's because he can't get enough of me," Bodie chortled, earning a powerful blow to the gut from Noel. "Ngyah…!"

"Be thankful it was just your stomach, you cur." Noel's fist was clenched tightly, wanting to deliver more blows to the obliviously stupid blond. "Sometimes, I just wanna hit you so badly…"

"Heheh… we should base our homework on BDSM. You'd be perfect for it…" And thus Bodie earned another blow, the impact inflicting unconsciousness on the poor sap.

That day, teachers put them to detention for violence and verbal sexual harassment, with Jenna voluntarily staying over to watch over them in place of the teacher. Being a model student, they had faith in her, but she just loved the social interactions between the two, so she let them be. In the meantime, the two tried to get along as much as possible to work on their homework with the theme of 'Sexuality'.

"So what do we do?"

"I have an idea!" Jenna declared, pulling out her tablet. "To get an A, the teacher must feel connected. So, since he's a fag, you guys just do something gay!" She scrolled around her gallery and showed them a jeans ad of two hot guys on each other.

"I'm game," Bodie carelessly said with a grin. He didn't mind playing gay, as long as he was on top and if his partner was Noel, considering the man's unusual androgyny. "So Noel, do you-" When he turned to see Noel's reaction, he was frozen by his lifeless face, succumbed to depression and brooding. "N-Noel…?"

"…You two are sick, twisted assholes. No, I will not agree to this."

"But it's two-against-one," Jenna argued.

"Your point is invalid. First off, you aren't even a groupmate of ours. Second, I will never wear a dress. Not again. Not for him, not for you, and not for that blasted teacher; I've met gay men more professional than he is."

"Don't be a stick in the mud!" Jenna laughed off. "Besides, you don't have to wear girl clothes: just get flirty with Bodie. He's a master, so just try to go with the flow."

"I'll murder you for this someday…"

"Oh please, you couldn't hurt a fly!' Bodie teased, making Noel serve him a knuckle sandwich. "God damn it, that hurt!" He was, at first, mad, but Noel's grim demeanor turned his anger ice cold. "Ah… S-sorry. That was rude of me… Hehehehe…"

Jenna took a good look at them both, and really could imagine the BDSM kink thing going on. "Bodie, you're too much sometimes."

So in the end, on their next day in class, Bodie and Noel posed like the guys on that billboard ad, using a butler costume and half a fireman's uniform, both tucked away for Jenna's little kinks. They got an A and earned a month's worth of gossip, all harmful to only Noel. Isn't that great?





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