Charlie Hills, Super Popular Jock Dude
maybe your life is tough. Maybe you've just been through a bad
middle or high school breakup and you need time to cool down.
Maybe you're drowning in your school workload. Honestly, I've
never experienced that before. Okay, I've had a few short-term
relationships and a couple flings. But nothing serious. That's
not what even middle and high school are made for. To me, school
was just another place where you can hit on smoking hot
cheerleaders while vandalizing rocks and houses and cars. Some
people think school is all about learning and achieving and work.
That makes you a freakish loser, at least here at Cinder Valley.
Being a freakish loser means you will be hunted, shot, and left
for dead. In most cases. I'm not one of those losers.
me, life was all simple and easy, at least until the new kid
moved across the street. He's the capital of "loser". But I'll
save that part for later. But what was really weird about this
was just the fact that he was moving in. I've always lived in the
same house. Same school, same everything. I've always had the
same group of friends. So wouldn't you think it would be weird to
have some kid from a different state move in across the street?
This was the first time this happened, and it felt sort of
alien. I know almost everyone at school, so, when he came, I sort
of checked him out from a distance. That's the way it always is
with the new kids, especially in Cinder Valley High School, Well,
as I soon found out, THIS kid didn't need checking out. I don't
even know the kid's name and I know exactly what kind of person
he is: He is a total weirdo. For one thing, he doesn't even look
like he's starting high school. He wears ugly old sweaters and
acts like a three year old. He always rides down the street on
his bike with training wheels - Training wheels! - Screaming his
head off. Can anyone have peace? He says hi to everybody like
they were his long lost best friends, even if they don't know
him. You see him on the slides at the park near our neighborhood,
riding on the swings on his stomach, screaming like - I don't
know, a wild banshee that just got proposed to. But I don't even
think that explains it.
see him carry the mail back to his house, always dropping some of
the mail on the way. You peek in one of the front windows, and
guess what you see? Him. Watching Blues Clues. Smiling, no, more
like LAUGHING at the supposedly funny parts. I know I said this
already, but he looks about twelve, but I know he's actually
fourteen, which means he's a high schooler. Can you guess which
one he's going to? That's right - Mine. We live right across the
street from each other! How could he not be going to Cinder
Valley? I've faced the facts that it's likely I'll see him in
high school. But then I always remind myself that he'll probably
be stuffed in a locker the whole day. By me, of course. I made it
my promise to kill this kid personally, physically and
emotionally. This kid screamed through half my summer. He
deserves to pay. I always tell my friends he's loud and
annoying. No one can ever get any peace and quiet with him
screaming like a maniac down the street. They all share my
ambition of targeting him this year, although none of them live
in the neighborhood. Last year in eighth grade, we were the kings
of Cinder Valley Middle. We were so popular that we always had a
line up of "witnesses" to clear our names so we almost never got
in trouble. Or at least, not in any serious trouble. We always
won. That's how it has always been, and that's how it'll always
so different about high school? My friends have no answers.
They're all shaking in their skins, something about high school
fever? It's like, seriously, are you freaking kidding me? The
person who made up that rumor must have no life. Lame. Probably
works at WalMart or dropped out of school like the rest of the
high school rejects are the least of my problems. Why are my
friends so nervous? Why am I so nervous? Is it just normal school
jitters or something more serious? I REFUSE to believe this is
because of high school fever. Nothing this lame can scare
someone, not even the lamest guilible reject out there.
Except.... For that one kid. I had a feeling he'd believe
anything. What was his name again? Jerry? Jonah? Jack? It didn't
matter. I'd find out at orientation.