There I was, lying on my rightside, facing the wall, eyes closed. I hear one of the patients screaming and laughing while a sister's voice was urging him to calm down. I could see the scene in my mind. Me in a cell in a mental institution lying on my bed. Mad people running in and out of my cell, with nursing staff trying to corner them to inject bensos to calm them down. And I am lying in my bed, dirty from not being washed by the nursing staff for a week. My mattress is soaked with the smell of urine and feaces because I just defaecate while I am lying on my right side. And I don't care, I don't have to talk, I don't have to walk around, I don't have to eat, I don't have to go to the toilet, I don't have to do anything. I can just lie here on my right side, eyes closed facing the wall, and they will bring my medicine at the correct time. I don't care about the dirt, I don't care about the smell, I don't care about the hungry rumble in my tummy, I can just lie here on my right side, eyes closed facing the wall, they must just bring my medicine at the right time. And inside I laugh deep in my belly every time another patient screams and runs around in the ward, I laugh inwardly because I am not as mad as they are. My face does not show a crease, no noise escapes my mouth, because I am lying on my right side facing the wall, laughing in my brain, laughing my belly. I just lie there on my right side. I probably have bedsores from my immobility, but it is such a pleasure just lying there on my right side facing the wall. Yes, it is the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I deserve this. I deserve to lie dirty in a mental institusion. I deserve this, and it feels good to get what I deserve.