Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Aunt Edna's Operation

Poetry By: AlanDavid

This is just a bunch of silliness that happened to cross one of the many void areas of my brain.


But I do fancy myself as somewhat a humorist.

Hope this makes tya smile just a bit!

Submitted:Mar 3, 2014    Reads: 24    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   

Aunt Edna's Operation

Aunt Edna had some problems
Been bothering her for years
She went to see her doctor
To assuage her many fears

He reviewed her symptoms
And the problems that he found
Were much too complicated
For that doc in our small town

She would need an operation
A hysterectomy
So they sent her to a specialist
Up in Schenectady

And when they cut her open
They could not believe their eyes
There were so many problems
That they hadn't realized

They made the choice to do it all
While she was lying there all numb
Don't miss a thing, fix everything
No problem left undone

Her intestines were infected
Half of them were taken out
And all that female stuff looked bad
It had to go; no doubt

The doctor told her, take it slow
No horseshoes, golf or bowlin
'Cause he took away her period
Left her with a semi-colon

They noticed that her skin was dry
So they had this silly notion
To make her up a special batch
Of a very rare skin lotion

They took a little Alum
And some grease from KFC
A touch of disappearing crème
Not much, just one cc

Aunt Edna put the crème on
A bit more than she should
She was up tight, out of sight
And finger-licking good

Because of poor Aunt Edna
I'll insist on all the facts
Before my scheduled surgery
There's lots of questions I will ask

I'll insist without relenting
That my wife be next to me
When the doctor starts to work
On my vasectomy


| Email this story Email this Poetry | Add to reading list


About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.