Cornwall Peppermaker

There once was a man named Cornwall Peppermaker;

He was ugly if truth be told; for love he had no taker.

Tall he was,at six feet; thick hair of red upon his head.

Bulbous nose and squinty eyes; clothed in stylish thread;

A hairy mole upon Cornwall's chin was prominently posed.

If that wasn't bad enough;his ears were large and exposed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crooked teeth had he and when smiling was quite the sight.

He was easier on the eyes of those who saw him out at night.

A man of means, he was quite rich; but no wife had he to care;

He courted many ladies; having no luck in finding one to snare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They found him homely and hard to view; so they all declined;

his proposals of matrimony, they were just not to him inclined.

Finally he ordered one from catalog; a mail order bride to be;

Arriving by train one day,she was be speckled; could hardly see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking at Cornwall; through her eyes, he was quite the catch;

She was short, with bucked teeth; they were a gruesome match.

Her hair was thin, dirty blond; there sat large hump on her nose.

She had six fingers on each hand; Lord knows how many toes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though disappointed; she was no beauty; he wed her straight away;

the children born from this union were to be even uglier than they.

Orange hair; humped noses, half blind; bucked teeth were they all.

Some even had hairy moles; some were short while others tall.

Poor children; was not their fault; but they were loved just the same;

the thing the kids hated most of all was their ridiculous last name!

The moral to this story is:

If your last name is Peppermaker, change it before having children!

What? You thought I was going to say something about ugly people marrying each other?

Heck no, they got a right to do whatever they want!