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Cornwall Peppermaker

Poetry By: Ava Rosien

Tags: Poetry, Humor

When ugly marries ugly the results can be really, really bad for future generations. Mail order brides are not always as they appear in the catalogs!

Submitted:Jan 3, 2013    Reads: 24    Comments: 4    Likes: 3   

There once was a man named Cornwall Peppermaker;

He was ugly if truth be told; for love he had no taker.

Tall he was,at six feet; thick hair of red upon his head.

Bulbous nose and squinty eyes; clothed in stylish thread;

A hairy mole upon Cornwall's chin was prominently posed.

If that wasn't bad enough;his ears were large and exposed.


Crooked teeth had he and when smiling was quite the sight.

He was easier on the eyes of those who saw him out at night.

A man of means, he was quite rich; but no wife had he to care;

He courted many ladies; having no luck in finding one to snare.


They found him homely and hard to view; so they all declined;

his proposals of matrimony, they were just not to him inclined.

Finally he ordered one from catalog; a mail order bride to be;

Arriving by train one day,she was be speckled; could hardly see.


Looking at Cornwall; through her eyes, he was quite the catch;

She was short, with bucked teeth; they were a gruesome match.

Her hair was thin, dirty blond; there sat large hump on her nose.

She had six fingers on each hand; Lord knows how many toes!


Though disappointed; she was no beauty; he wed her straight away;

the children born from this union were to be even uglier than they.

Orange hair; humped noses, half blind; bucked teeth were they all.

Some even had hairy moles; some were short while others tall.

Poor children; was not their fault; but they were loved just the same;

the thing the kids hated most of all was their ridiculous last name!

The moral to this story is:

If your last name is Peppermaker, change it before having children!

What? You thought I was going to say something about ugly people marrying each other?

Heck no, they got a right to do whatever they want!


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