Dingy Ways to Go

Dingy Ways To Die

Some call it by name a cigarette

Others label it an unerring lung dart

Some start by losing a bet

And end by attacking their heart

We all have a right to choose

How to end this life we ride

Many choose the slow path of booze

Others simply say yes to suicide

With a drink, a toast and a cuss

We boldly stumble toward death

Some die neatly without a fuss

Others take forever with their last breath

Whether smoke or drink or a gun

We’re all going to the same address

You may think Heaven can be fun

But Hell is where the chicks undress

We flip the bird in the face of fate

Daring the Gods to kick our bucket

(Aw right, aw right, settle down.

We all know where this is headed)

There are some of us who just can’t wait

To die so we can say “Fuck it”

Then there’s the folks who live to forever

Eating broccoli, oatmeal and tofu

They see the dark side almost never

Outliving them is our best “Fuck you”

Our goal is to finish with a grin

Maybe holding a jug of gin

If it happens then we win

If it doesn’t, in to the dust bin

We laugh, we curse and we cry

We drink, we smoke and we lie

But are eyes are never closed

We just want to outlive a fly

So let’s belly up to the bar

And light a big cigar

‘That’s bad for you”, you say

Well I’m gonna go My Way

With a loud raucous last toast

I’ll even endure a final roast

Life’s been a wonderful host

The rest of the way I’m gonna coast

Is this going on too long?

Should I break out in song?

I feel like old King Kong

On a pointy building my body is pronged

Turns out the dingiest way to die

Is to have never gotten high

To have never taken a risk

Letting your eggs sit unwisked

So live it up till you drop

It don’t matter either way

I’m gonna poop till I pop

Because tomorrow is NOT another day