Or roight me ode mert, erw yaw gewin
Better than me ar bet, om gewin ta rack en ruwin
I ay sin yaw fer a few wicks ar dow think
Ere abart the punch-up last wick, oh my gord wora stink
Ar I did, it wuz a roight bust up I heard, cheirs un bottles flyin
I think aar Bert woz in the thick o it cuz aar Mary wuz cryin
Ar I think he woz, he toed me e nearly spilt is point!
It’s about time they closed the plerce down, it’s a roight friggin joint
Y’ roight thear mert, if ya car av a point in peace
Yaw might as well call it a day, y’ know, call in the police
Y’ wastin y’ time callin the friggin police
They woe cum, too bizi lookin for a bit a peace
Anyway ar gorra gew, it’s benefit day y’ know
Standin in that friggin queue mecks the day gew slow
Or roight aar kid watch erw ya gew, see ya soon ode mate
Om off down the chippie for me tae, ope they put it on the slate!