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The DIY Plumbing Poem

Poetry By: brokenroadjourney
Humor



We have all tackled a Do-It-Yourself project at some point in our adult homeowner lives. As you know, they usually don't go quite as smoothly as we anticipate for them to.

One would think a sloooow, or NO draining kitchen sink would be easily remedied and quickly resolved. Well, maybe.... but then again... maybe not. I wrote this for my Sweetheart, in the light of our own "little adventure" with some kitchen plumbing...


Submitted:Jul 19, 2007    Reads: 3,242    Comments: 5    Likes: 1   


MY FLOOR IS WET, MY HEART IS BLUE

NOW I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO...

THE PIPE IS LEAKING, THIS IS GREAT!

SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE BAD FISH BAIT....

LOTS OF SOGGY SLIMY GREASY MOLD

LET'S JUST SEE HOW THIS UNFOLDS. .

MAKE A HOLE TO FIND THE PIPE

JUST BREAK THE WALL, IT'LL BE ALRIGHT

OOOPS WENT TOO FAR, TIME TO POUT

I'M ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT...

UNDER MY CABINET FROM WHERE I SIT

I CAN SEE THE GRASS AND EVEN TOUCH IT.

KICKING MY FOOT OUT GETTING MAD

IT HITS THE PIPE AND THAT IS BAD

CAUSE THEN IT BROKE AND MY FOOT WENT ON

TO HIT THE WALL WHERE PART WAS GONE

AND NOW I WAS STUCK WITH FOOT OUTSIDE

WISHING THERE WAS SOME PLACE TO HIDE

i WAS LAYING THERE, BODY IN FOOT OUT

TRYING TO FIGURE ALL OF THIS OUT

I WAS SO MAD I WAS SEEING RED

WHEN THE WRENCH FELL ON MY HEAD

IT KNOCKED ME OUT AND WHEN I CAME TO

I REALIZED I KNEW JUST WHAT TO DO.

I GRABBED THE WRENCH AND HIT THE WALL

OVER AND OVER I WAS HAVING A BALL

I GOT MY FOOT LOOSE, NO LONGER MAD

BUT THEN I SAW WHAT A MESS I HAD

THE WALL MADE A SOUND, THE WINDOW FELL

I WAS IN SHOCK, WHAT THE HELL?

I JUMPED BACKWARDS GOT OUT OF THE WAY

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS ! WHAT A DAY!

NOW THERE WERE BRICKS ALL OVER THE FLOOR

THATS WHEN I THOUGHT - I'LL JUST MAKE A DOOR!

I RIPPED OUT THE CABINETS, AND HAULED THEM AWAY

MOVED THE COUCH TO PLUG IN THE FRIDGE TO STAY.

BUT WHEN I MOVED THE FRIDGE IT HIT A BRICK

WHICH THEN CAUSED THE WHEELS TO STICK

BUT PUSHING HARD TO GET IT LOOSE

IT FELL OVER OVER AND COOKED MY GOOSE

IT HIT THE WALL, WHICH MADE THE SEAM

THAT HELD THE ROOF SUPPORTING BEAMS

IT STARTED SAGGING AS I LOOKED

AND THEN I KNEW MY GOOSE WAS COOKED.

NOT MUCH TIME, SHE'D BE HOME SOON

FEELING NAUSEOUS i STARTED TO SWOON

WHAT COULD I DO TO COVER THIS MESS?

WHAT i CAME UP WITH YOU'LL NEVER GUESS.

SHE PULLED UP OUT FRONT HER FACE WHITE AS SNOW

I RAN TO HER SIDE, HER EYES ALL A GLOW. . .

SHE LOOKED THE REMAINS OVER, I STOOD RIGHT BY HER

THERE WASN'T MUCH LEFT AFTER THE FIRE....

YOU SEE NOW BABY IT'S ALL RIGHT WE'RE ALL OK

THERE JUST WASN'T MUCH ELSE THAT I COULD SAY

IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIRING, WHAT STARTED IT OUT

AND THEY HAD TO GAIN ENTRY BY KNOCKING THAT WALL OUT

BUT IT SPREAD SO QUICKLY, AND TIME WAS VITAL

INSURANCE WILL FIX THE HOUSE, WAS MY RECITAL

MY THROAT WAS DRY, MY KNEES WERE GETTING WEAK

NEXT TIME I WILL CALL A PLUMBER FOR THE DAMN LEAK. . .





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